Author Harcel Posted March 21, 2019 Author Posted March 21, 2019 Well, I'm pretty old so I don't know that. But okay. He didn't contact you and you didn't contact him but you want the man to contact and lead, which is fine. But not everyone does. I just wouldn't fault him for it. But you get to have your standards. Well I appreciate your input but I am talking as a woman in my 30’s with experience using these apps. It’s gone 3pm now so I have written him off.
MaleIntuition Posted March 21, 2019 Posted March 21, 2019 Let us assume a hypothetical man is chatting with more than one women. One shows clear interest and also takes responsibility by initiating while the other is playing somewhat hard-to-get and never initiates; it makes very little sense to go for the lady whom seem uninterested. So yes, maybe he lost interest precisely because you never initiate? If I where to generalise somewhat; girls with such attitude also tend to sound less enthusiastic when chatting. We will never know. Good luck with the next one.
Author Harcel Posted March 21, 2019 Author Posted March 21, 2019 Let us assume a hypothetical man is chatting with more than one women. One shows clear interest and also takes responsibility by initiating while the other is playing somewhat hard-to-get and never initiates; it makes very little sense to go for the lady whom seem uninterested. So yes, maybe he lost interest precisely because you never initiate? If I where to generalise somewhat; girls with such attitude also tend to sound less enthusiastic when chatting. We will never know. Good luck with the next one. To prove my point I will text him since I have nothing to loose now and let you know what he says...
MaleIntuition Posted March 21, 2019 Posted March 21, 2019 Exactly, you have nothing to lose. Your sample size of 1 doesn’t prove anything though, but I’m hoping you are wrong .
Author Harcel Posted March 21, 2019 Author Posted March 21, 2019 He replied within couple of minutes saying sorry he had been busy and he still wants to meet if I am free, went on to say he thought I wasn't interested. SO we are meeting, but I am not holding my breath on this going anywhere. Either you are right or I am and he's now just playing along.....
Iris The Butterfly Posted March 21, 2019 Posted March 21, 2019 I’m glad you communicated. But his excuse was weak. Maybe he thought it was true and that was his reasoning for letting meeting you slip. Had you not contacted him he wouldn’t have contacted you. Think about that. It sounds like there is a low level of interest to begin with. I’m also a woman in my 30s with a lot of OLD experience and if days go by with no plan or not even just texting to stay in contact... I already know that they will either never contact me again, cancel, or half-as&@“ agree to meet “if I’m still up for it”. I’m so over OLD and pray that I never have to go back. This is just too common. Men (and women) get distracted by the amount of options online and are talking to a lot of different people. If they really aren’t excited about someone they’ll make tentative plans and not really communicate much in between. That way they can cancel or open themselves up to someone who they’re really excited about. I’ve dated a lot of men. The ones that became serious relationships always started with a high degree of pursuit. Even my current bf who I met online. We matched and texted daily until we met in person, his doing. He made a set time and place days before the first date. And he’s never stopped almost 6 months later. Might be an enjoyable date tonight but personally I wouldn’t be impressed by his lack of effort. Did he suggest a time and place?
Author Harcel Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 I couldn’t have asked for things to have gone better possibly one of the best dates I have had from OLD. The entire time I was getting ready I was thinking what you were thinking: lame excuse, lack of interest etc and if I had to go far out of my way to meet him I wouldn’t have gone but he went out of his way and as soon as we sat down he said he was so glad I had messaged as he really didn’t know how to take me over text messages. I think being a good looking guy he probably does talk to a lot of girls and like Maleintuition said if I seemed less interested than others he didn’t think I was worth pursuing. But he’s met me now. He knows what I am like in person, so I will watch what he does now. 1
Iris The Butterfly Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 I couldn’t have asked for things to have gone better possibly one of the best dates I have had from OLD. The entire time I was getting ready I was thinking what you were thinking: lame excuse, lack of interest etc and if I had to go far out of my way to meet him I wouldn’t have gone but he went out of his way and as soon as we sat down he said he was so glad I had messaged as he really didn’t know how to take me over text messages. I think being a good looking guy he probably does talk to a lot of girls and like Maleintuition said if I seemed less interested than others he didn’t think I was worth pursuing. But he’s met me now. He knows what I am like in person, so I will watch what he does now. Glad to hear it was a good date. I wouldn’t assume just because he’s good looking he’s landing lots of women. My current bf is handsome and has a great personality but said he very rarely goes online dates when he was on the app. Would quickly write people off he said, and never meet. For various reasons. So, did he contact you after? Did he suggest the next time?
Author Harcel Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 Glad to hear it was a good date. I wouldn’t assume just because he’s good looking he’s landing lots of women. My current bf is handsome and has a great personality but said he very rarely goes online dates when he was on the app. Would quickly write people off he said, and never meet. For various reasons. So, did he contact you after? Did he suggest the next time? He messaged when he got home and again today. End of the night he asked if I wanted to meet Saturday but I have a party so meeting for lunch Sunday. I’m travelling next week so he seemed keen to be able to see me again before I left.
LauraXX Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 @Harcel Yay, good to hear that you had a nice date. My guy texted me back and said "Of course we're still on for Saturday." But I still had a strange gut feeling. On Saturday I didn't hear from him all day and around noon, I decided to just make other plans. I still texted him something like "Um, what about tonight?" in the afternoon but he never replied. Crazy, right? I just don't get why people do that. It wasn't a huge disappointment tbh. Would have been our first date anyway, no expectations, and I'm actually quite happy with my dating life at the moment... so it's all good. But it still makes me mad that people think it's ok to treat other people like that.
Author Harcel Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 @Harcel Yay, good to hear that you had a nice date. My guy texted me back and said "Of course we're still on for Saturday." But I still had a strange gut feeling. On Saturday I didn't hear from him all day and around noon, I decided to just make other plans. I still texted him something like "Um, what about tonight?" in the afternoon but he never replied. Crazy, right? I just don't get why people do that. It wasn't a huge disappointment tbh. Would have been our first date anyway, no expectations, and I'm actually quite happy with my dating life at the moment... so it's all good. But it still makes me mad that people think it's ok to treat other people like that. Yeh I hear you girl. Sorry that it didn’t work out but at least it seems you have other options :-) We had our second date yesterday. There haven’t been any other negatives so I just trying to look past what hopefully was just a hick up in the beginning because he does seem interested and hasn’t said or done anything that makes me think otherwise. Even said he’s hidden his profile for now.
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