ss868 Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 (edited) I met a guy a few months back on a night out through mutual friends of his, and I was immediately drawn to him. We chatted a good bit of the night, and after I left I added him on social media, because I felt we had a spark. I commented on a few of his things, and messaged him to try and engage, but he never acknowledged anything so I figured maybe I read it wrong and just let it go. Fast forward a month and there is another night out at the bar and he is there with friends. He comes up to me and introduces me to them, and we chat again. I end up leaving before him very drunk, and stupidly text him after leaving telling him I would love to get dinner with him because I am into him. He replies telling me he loves the compliment but he is with somebody (which sucks because there is nothing on social media that hints at this). So I get my closure, let it go and try and move on....only ever since I told him I like him he hasn't stopped commenting on my social media, which he hasn't done before (5 times in a week), and then the other day he even messaged me directly making fun of a comment I had made on my social media. Apparently it was something I had said I liked in general on a status, and he doesn't like this thing, so his messaged said this is why we cant be together, but he was very playful and put a smiley face. So now I don't really know what to do, because I left it alone after finding out he is not single, but ever since he has known I like him he keeps trying to engage. Should I feel bad for engaging, and do you think he is being out of order to his gf? I don't really know how to take his behavior, and he could maybe just want to be friends, but we have only met twice. Thoughts? Edited March 19, 2019 by ss868
BaileyB Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 (edited) Well, I wouldn’t say he has behaved inappropriately yet... but that doesn’t mean that he’s not testing the waters. So now I don't really know what to do I think you do... you have already told him No. Nothing has changed - he still has a girlfriend. The answer should still be No. Men with girlfriends don’t often seek to form new “friendships” with other women because... their girlfriends don’t usually like it. Regardless of what his intentions are, you will be fine as long as you stick to your boundaries. He is welcome to “comment” on any social media post he likes... it doesn’t mean that you have to respond or meet him for a drink. If you are ever wondering if your behavior is crossing the line, imagine that you are his girlfriend and ask yourself how you would like whatever it is that you are doing. If the answer is “not at all,” you know what to do... Edited March 19, 2019 by BaileyB 1
smackie9 Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 He's dipping his toe in or toying with the idea.....it starts innocent enough, but little by little you become the other woman....tell him to kool his jets until he is single.
Andy_K Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 He's either looking to cheat, or to monkey branch. 1
Mrs._December Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 So I get my closure... "Closure" on what?? You talked to him in a bar one night while you were drunk and added him to your social media and he never answered any of your messages. Why would you need 'closure' on something that inconsequential? It sounds as though this guy was liking the attention from you and then it stopped, so he started engaging with you to get it going again. And one night when he has a fight with his girlfriend, he'll likely contact you and use you for the night before going back to her the next day. He's a complete waste of your time. 2
smackie9 Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 One time I got caught up with a taken guy. Nothing happened between us, but he liked hanging out with me. Me promised to breakup with his GF after their trip. Well it didn't happen. I felt like a damn fool for letting him keep me on the hook for a month. Don't be that girl.
kendahke Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 So now I don't really know what to do, because I left it alone after finding out he is not single, but ever since he has known I like him he keeps trying to engage. Should I feel bad for engaging, and do you think he is being out of order to his gf? Him being out of order depends upon the nature of his relationship with his girlfriend and what their agreements are. But he keeps trying to engage because you are giving him an audience. Plain and simple. Remove yourself from the equation and your problems are solved. Any reason why after he told you of her existence, you're still giving him access? I don't really know how to take his behavior, and he could maybe just want to be friends, but we have only met twice. Thoughts? He's lining you up as a complicit eff buddy behind his girlfriend's back. But let me pose this question to you: if you were his unaware girlfriend, what would you want us to tell the chick posting about chatting up her boyfriend, finding out he's taken and she's still talking to him?
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