housebaby Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Just wondering if I can get some opinions here, I know what I look for - maybe we can share our ideas? 1) Honesty 2) Sense of humor 3) Sense of self (and confidence in that) 4) Trust - I can trust them & they can trust me 5) Secure (emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially) *in that order 6) Enjoys life - is adventurous 7) Open-minded 8) Physically Attractive (to me) 9) Has own friends/life 10) Freedom of expression (able to express thoughts, opinions, feelings) 11) Good family background 12) Safety (I like to feel "protected" by a man) 13) Happy in life (not just with me) So those are just some on my list - please feel free to comment, or add to it - I would like to see what other people (men/women) look for in a potential romatic mate.
cplfun13 Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Trustworthy, freedom of expression, honest, respect for nature, caring of others, not selfish, Passionate towards life, confident, light hearted, spontaneous, true to self, and being sexy doesnt hurt. My desires are simple and basic traites that I hope to find in partners and friends.
LazyLibra Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 In order of importance, from most to least 1.Attractive 2.Sense of humor 3.Kind 4.Caring 5.supportive 6.Enjoys the small stuff 7.Understanding 8.accepting 9.Takes care of herself 10. Easy going Basically, I put attractive first for a obvious reason. I need to be attracted to the girl. All and all i'm looking for a very gentle, Compassionate girl, Who enjoys life. I'm a crazy guy, i enjoy being goofy so she has to be able to handle my humor on sensitive subjects.
megabit15 Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Well, it's kinda different if I look at the guy as a long term prospect or just Mr. Moment. Mr. Moment just needs to be fun, reasonably intelligent, and have a few recreational pursuits in common. Mr. Long Term: Intelligence. For some retarded reason, I can't stand an uneducated man or really really poor grammar. God, someone give me a geek, please!! (Notice I did not say nerd - geeks have social graces) Other areas important to me: an optimistic, affectionate and somewhat independant nature, a similar sense of humor, responsible, follow through, similar social or political values, how he treats people and life forms in general: hopefully with tact, consideration, respect and humor. I look for some common recreational pursuits, how he handles difficultly or conflict, some semblance of physical chemistry, and we definitely need to 'click' mentally. I tend to be more naturally attracted to someone about 4-5" taller than me, and height/weight proportional.
Pyro Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 In no paticular order: attractive, intelligent, sense of humor, considerate of others, supportive, goal-oriented, kind, honest, trustworthy, is willing to compromise and sacrifice, likes to have fun, but knows when to be serious, great communicator, spontaneous, knows how to keep the spice in the relationship, and a best friend.
lost_in_chgo Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Intelligence. For some retarded reason, I can't stand an uneducated man or really really poor grammar. God, someone give me a geek, please!! (Notice I did not say nerd - geeks have social graces) wow, yew sound like yew wood be a perfeck match fer me. Maybe we culd privit mesage eech udder in a mesage sumtime. I'm into the bar seen and drinkin and i hated grammer class too. And i hate uneducated wimmen too. Unfortunately, I'm not sure 15mbps is fast enough for me. I usually run with the gigabit crowd.
RecordProducer Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 13) Happy in life (not just with me) If he is too happy on his own, he will be be happy with you also... on his own! All the good things in life make us happy when we have them , not when we don't. Weare happy when we're healthy, unhappy when we have a long-term disease. Weare happy when we're financially secure, unhappy if we are starving and have no a place to live. Weare happy when we have a good career, unhappy when we are not accomplished professionally. If a guy is happy without love, it means he doesn't need it. I don't think you need a guy who doesn't need love - the most beautiful thing - to be happy. It speaks of a commitment-phobic person. What I like: sexy, intelligent, witty, self-confident, emotionally stable, successful, good in bed, with a good heart, and good manners. I have kids so he must love my kids. I found that in my BF.
Pyro Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 good in bed How could I forget? Add this one to my list.
lost_in_chgo Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Okay here's my list: Personality-wise: Intelligent Honesty Sense of humor Trust Emotionally stable, not complaining about the ex non stop Not needy, but not obsessed with dating her friends Minimal kid count Wants kids Theres a certain type of bubbly personality that is friendly without being too in your face or slutty that I like. Hard to describe. I respond to that immediately. Physically: Good smile Lately, somewhat petite. Well proportioned. Able to have a few kids, a woman of childbearing age. I tend to prefer high cheekbones and small heads. The bobble head look scares me. Light eyed (I dont usually find brown eyes attractive, though there are exceptions. Send my your photo and I'll tell you if you are one) Brunettes over blondes, but not a hard rule. Redheads can be either ugly or gorgeous. Very subjective. Behavior: Not manipulative Not needy Not obessed with parties and social events Not obsessed with travel, fine dining, theatre, or other favorite activities of the pretentious. Sure those things are OK, but not all consuming. Doesn't have "must love dogs" in her profile Doesn't have lingerie photos in her online profile (if we're online). Certainly not as the only photo. I might like to look at those, but I'm not about to date a girl that's shopping herself out like that. No tattoos or piercings. Hidden tattoos are ok, but I see them as a sign of insecurity. Anything more that a single ear piercing in each ear is a turn off. No Goths or other needy freaks. Applications are currently being accepted.
Merin Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 A mate.. What to look for.. damn it! that's what I've been doing wrong! I was suppose to be looking for things.. son of someone should've said something! What would be ideal.. Attractive (For obvious reasons) Funny (Getting my humour is always a plus) Smart Genuine Likes Kids Is rockin in bed (or ya know starbucks.. whatever) Compassionate and a bit of a smart ass is all okay too
ConfusedInOC Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Hey Merin, LTNS. I thought you had someone?!
RainyDayWoman Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 i'm going to have to go with penis. it's a good start anyway. i'm so shallow....
Merin Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Hey Merin, LTNS. I thought you had someone?! Yes still with my BF LTNS for real! Hope you're doing well... AND STILL I say.. I was supposeto be looking for things? Damn!
Author housebaby Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 If he is too happy on his own, he will be be happy with you also... on his own! That's good - Maybe you misuderstood me, or you are one of those "need a person to make me happy" types --- I don't like the comments like "I feel complete with you" or "You fulfill my life" or "I was miserable until I met you - now I am happy"... I want someone who is already a COMPLETE person. I want a person who is POSITIVE (OPTIMISTIC) and happy about where they are in life, and are comfortable with WHO THEY ARE when they are single. Yes, I want them to also be happy when they are with me - instead of miserable, gloomy, or negative. I want them to have a self-esteem that stems from themselves, not from being in a relationship - or being accepted/loved by me.
Outcast Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 If a guy is happy without love, it means he doesn't need it. Not at all. It means he's secure and well-adjusted and, most importantly, a man who understands how to enjoy life without 'needing' somebody to be a crutch for him. It doesn't mean the absence of love makes him happy, rather that he is not a mopey drawers all the time just because 'nobody loves him'.
kitkat826 Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Physically: Brown eyes, light brown skin, and a lean, mean fighting machine. Interests: Feels just as comfortable in the Board room as they do at the reggaeton concert. EQ: Healthy. Is happy with themselves and has learned from the past, instead of holding onto it. IQ: Doesn't know their IQ score and doesn't care. Instead, is intellectually curious and has an interest in the word around him. Personality: Is goofy and can make me laugh. Can put up with my sarcasm and brings out the mushy side of me. Will be accepting applications in roughly 3-6 months. (This business is currently closed for vacation and repair).
Kitteney Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 all of the above. plus extra emphasis on honesty. especially when it comes to on-line dating and how one describes themself. hair color: if you tick the box next to a color, it is referring to the hair on your head, not on your back. if you have no hair on your head, either because of genetics or a razor, you need to check the "bald" box. body type: "athletic and toned" and "fit and trim" mean just that. if you are more comfortable when you lift your belly up and over the waistband of your pants, you are not "toned." and if walking across the room causes you to wheeze, you are not "fit". believe me, i have asthma, and if i am reaching for my rescue inhaler, it's because you rocked my world, not because i got up to fetch us another beer. say you're "stocky", "a few extra pounds" or even "average" height: i am 5'6", if you say you are 5'9" i should be able to wear my 3-inch heels and still not tower over you. don't get me wrong. i don't have anything against short, fat, bald men. just don't use an old photo to sell yourself as a Greek god and then show up for the date looking like Uncle Fester. if you lie about your appearance, what else will you lie about?
lost_in_chgo Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 If a guy is happy without love, it means he doesn't need it. Not at all. [snip] a man who understands how to enjoy life without 'needing' somebody Outcast, you reworded that and said it didn't mean the same thing, but it did. enjoy=happy need=need You could just agree, it would be faster
lost_in_chgo Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 hair color: if you tick the box next to a color, it is referring to the hair on your head, not on your back. if you have no hair on your head What if he's bald on top and blonde on the side? You usually can only check one box. I opt for blonde over bald and let the (current) pictures do the rest. height: i am 5'6", if you say you are 5'9" i should be able to wear my 3-inch heels and still not tower over you. I was interested when I had a girl ask me if I was really over 6ft tall. She said alot of guys lie about that. What's the point? It's pretty obvious if you're 5'8". just don't use an old photo to sell yourself as a Greek god and then show up for the date looking like Uncle Fester. LOL There were two women that I talked to that would not provide current pictures. One's pic was timestamp from 2000, and the other had a picture of a young girl with her, but her daughter was years older from her text, so the pic was obviously dated. Hiding your appearance is pointless or even counter productive. Or counter reproductive even....
lost_in_chgo Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 I want someone who is already a COMPLETE person. I want a person who is POSITIVE (OPTIMISTIC) and happy about where they are in life, and are comfortable with WHO THEY ARE when they are single. A person can be complete, positive, optimistic and still prefer not being single. Wanting a relationship does not imply that someone is broken. Yes, I want them to also be happy when they are with me - instead of miserable, gloomy, or negative. I want them to have a self-esteem that stems from themselves, not from being in a relationship - or being accepted/loved by me. High self esteeem does not imply a good relationship or a happy mood in a relationship. In some cases, they could be dragged down by the partner and want nothing but escape, which eventually their self esteem will provide. But in the meantime, they are less than satisfied. People with low self esteem often toss away relationships that provide them love, security and acceptance because they ARE happy and they don't trust it. I think it's more neediness that you are looking to avoid. People can be miserable, gloomy, and negative without having self esteem issues. Despair, disappointment, and anxiety can all do the same thing. Low self esteem is today's catch all buzzword for "people who aren't like I want them to be"
Kitteney Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 it was "all of the above" for Uncle Fester. and i agree about the hair situation. if your hair description is more than one of the selections offered, pick one and let the photos do the rest. what just kills me is a guy who checks "blond" and shows a picture with a full head of hair but he clearly has NONE when it comes time to meet.
Outcast Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 If a guy is happy without love, it means he doesn't need it. Not at all. [snip] a man who understands how to enjoy life without 'needing' somebody you reworded that and said it didn't mean the same thing, but it did. enjoy=happy need=need Sorry you're having trouble getting it. There are two different ways to interpret 'don't need'. The first is as in 'I have no desire for'. The second as in the quality of neediness is lacking. I'm with housebaby on this. Wanting a relationship does not imply that someone is broken No but 'neeeding' one often does.
HeartSprinkles Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 basically if I think you are hot, and you think the word "doodlebopwiener" is funny, then I believe you and I can get along pretty magnificiently.
RecordProducer Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Yes, I want them to also be happy when they are with me - instead of miserable, gloomy, or negative. I want them to have a self-esteem that stems from themselves, not from being in a relationship - or being accepted/loved by me. In other words, you want to buy a BMW and "make a car" of it. You probably have had an experience with a guy who was unhappy before you and unhappy with you. So you want a guarancy that he will be happy with you by him being happy before you. But you can as well ruin his happiness or he can simply continue to enjoy his life without you. I understand perfectly what you're talking about and I actually agree, but it's too good to be true. The balance of two extremes is what makes things and people real (and fairly good). If you run onto a guy who is all miserable, he might stay like that with you. But if you run onto a guy who has a great life without you, he is likely to not need you at all. But you're not talking about that; in reality you would probably be happy to find a guy who is simply cheerful and loves life... don't get fooled, people can be very needy and moody even when they represent themselves as kings of wit and fun!
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