Lishy Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Hi all I am new here but have found the posts really helpful to me. I am 34 and left a 14 year realtionship with my sons father last November. My confidence was really low and i honestly never thought i could ever be with another man again (I feel like WHO would want ME!) Anyway to cut to the chase i met this really really nice guy through a mutual friend in May and we got it together. This is where the problem set in ... When i was with him i would say that i dont ever want another relationship, that i would not want to introduce another man to my son and spoke about how i would just like a 'friend with benefits' as such. This WAS how i was feeling at the time. He had come out of a 4 yr relationship and still has feelings for his ex and he was very honest with me. He is a really nice guy. He would text me every day for the first week or so and we would text back and forth with jokes and general chat. He works on Friday and Saturday nights until 2.30am and i started texting him if i was out to ask him if he fancied coming over to my place after work. He would come and we would spend the night kissing and cuddling and it was so lovely (I miss cuddles so much) Then it hit me ..... he had stopped calling me or texting me first. He would reply to my texts immediately (Not just the booty call texts) but he seemed to be a bit colder. He never once asked to take me out either. I told him that i was feeling bad as i was used to more and he said he is sorry and that he didnt want to make me feel like that and maybe he came on too strong with me. Then i just stopped texting him unless it was a booty call (he once said to me "You only call me when you are out for the night" But when i would text at other times just to say hi i got a cold reply. I think about this guy so much it is driving me crazy. I think about him sporadically through the day, before i go to sleep, dream about him and wake thinking about him. I REALLY would like to be with him but feel that now he just sees me as booty call material. All my doing!!!!!!!! I really wanted to talk to him one day but was too scared just to call or text to say hi incase he ignored me (my confidence is so low i cannot take rejection of any kind right now) So instead i sent a text meant for someone else just so i could have some contact with him. He rang me immediately and was laughing at how i sent him the wrong text. It was so nice talking to him. I would love to tell him how i REALLY feel as he really has no clue and i am sure he thinks i just use him. I could not do this as i would be mortified if he turned me down. Also he is younger than me and i have a son. I do not even know if i could handle a relationship as he is the first guy i have been attracted to since my ex. I find it so hard to get a connection with guys. I feel so messed up and obsessed. I wish i could take a pill to stop feeling like this. I am constantly scheming ways to get in touch with him nonchantly without him knowing how i feel. I suppose deep down i know that he isnt interested in me as a more serious relationship. What do i do guys? I have not contacted him in a week but came very close to e mailing him a pic of my new hair colour just so he remembers me and then maybe he will call DOHH!!!!!!!. The sensible thing to do would be to call him and tell him how i feel and then if he turns me down i could move on but the thought of doing that makes me feel physically sick! I know he finds me physically attractive as i see it in his eyes when he looks at me. I am actually quite a sensible woman who can sort out any problem for my friends but with him i feel like I am going mad! Helppppppppp!!!!!!!!
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