freakyschizogirl Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Do you think its possible for ex's to be good friends? If you've read my other thread you'll know that i'm on a break with my bf, and i think eventually we will split. Can Ex's be really good friends? cos this is all new to me
Topper Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 I would love to tell you that you and your soon to be ex will remain great friends. I would also love to tell you that you are going to win The Lotto. Chances are that neither is going to happen. The best situation you can hope for is that you both act civil and mature. You can end things on a good note with both walking away with your heads held high, sad but better people from the whole situation.
Jadey Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Its possible. Exes can be good friends if the feelings are mutual. If you both want the same thing you can, but if one of you still loves the other, its doomed.
NTB Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Is it possible.....? i don't think so........ everyone i know that has tried the "let's stay friends" doesn't seem to work out. x's are x's for a reason. just my 2 cents
Nyasa Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 I think it can, it does take time though and honest, open communication. My ex fiance and I split 3 months ago rather painfully at first, but when we really sat down and got it all out in the open, we slowly learned to accept the truth and try to be mature and ok about it, but that was b/c in the end it was a mutual descion for us. We love each other enough and have enough respect for each other that we are slowly learning to build a friendship. We just went through so much and we were like best friends, we were an important part of each other's lives and we wanted to maintain that. It wasn't easy and it's only getting good now, but we just try really hard to be open and honest with how we are feeling. I have a new man now and I even go to my ex for advice and he is cool about it. BUT if you two still say the I love yous and the pet names and have intimacy it will not work, you are just confusing yourselves, you need TIME. Right away there is too much of the feelings going on, you need to feel ok about where you are at and not being together and then maybe you can be friends, it's a complicated situation, but there is hope. Believe me when I say that even when your friends and it's cool, there is always that question in the back of your head and some things you just can't talk about with them, it's hard work, but if it's worth it to you, remain committed to being honest, open and realistic!
Nyasa Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 oh another note, most of my best guy friends are exs, you just have to realistic and let them know how you really feel and listen to how they really feel and accept it, if you are on the same page it can really work! YOU CAN NOT LET YOUR PAST AND HEART GET INVOLVED IN THE WRONG PLACES. Yes, you may get jealous or have feelings of what if, but focus on the friendship and reconize why you didn't work as a couple. I think if you can be really mature about it and move on, exs are the best friends to have. But I realize a lot of women can not handle that. I guess I would rather have them in my life than not, so I take what we had and put it in the past and move on, clean slate.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 It depends. Were you friends to begin with? If your friendship came about only as an extension of your relationship - and you were relatively strangers starting out with romance, then chances are when the relationship ends the friendship will too. If you were friends completely independent of the relationship, and you had an open and honest dialogue (in which the 'limits' of your relationship were second to the friendship), then it may be possible. If 'friends' is an excuse to 'wait it out for a second chance' or as a way to avoid being alone, then it isn't really 'friends'.
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