Sammy991 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Sometimes I do some errands for my GF so she has time to Work on other things. Most of the time she says thanks. But today I went way out of my way to help her and she didn’t even say thanks. I find this rude. All I ask for is a thanks. I even promited her by saying did you see my text that I got that done for you today and she ignored it and answered another question I asked instead. Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 (edited) Acts of service might not be her love language. So consequently, you doing something for her isn't as big of a deal to her as it is to you. This doesn't excuse her from not saying thanks, she should. Maybe you could talk in person with her about it. In a non judgemental way, just saying to her that it is important for you to be thanked. Edited March 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote deleted Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Couples do nice things for each other frequently without getting thanked each and every time. We simply know that the other is grateful and paying back a kindness is thanks in it's own right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 (edited) Do you give to charity only if someone acknowledges it? Your girlfriend is a lucky woman because you go out of your way to do things just to appease her "on occasion" just for your own self gratification Edited March 11, 2019 by madjac74 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 (edited) If she expresses her appreciation most of the time, I'd let one time go. Honestly it strikes me as really calculative that you are prompting her for a thanks and expecting it 100% of the time. H and I do try to verbally thank each other sometimes, but these things are done so frequently, thanks doesn't always have to be verbally expressed and that's OK. Edited March 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 It's probably good manners to thank someone? Even when I was in a long term relationship, I always thanked unless I was really angry about something and in a bad mood, and that's generally not like me. Like yeah not every single time you need "thank you", but I mean it should come second nature to most people who are polite. Even if my mother hands me a cup, I will say thank you. It's just good manners if someone does something nice for you? Like sure if it is one time, but if it happens a lot, I find it's bad manners. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Like sure if it is one time, but if it happens a lot, I find it's bad manners. Indeed. He said that most of the time she says thanks. It's not like she's never appreciative of him. Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Most of the time she says thanks. But today ... she didn’t Hi Sammy991, what you described of her is normal behavior, and is not a problem. Real people are not always going to say "thanks" for everything that you do. Pretend for a moment that you are married, and imagine ALL of the tasks and chores associated with a household. This includes preparing meals, washing and putting away dishes, washing and folding clothes, going to work, driving kids to school/programs/doctors/etc, grocery shopping and other errands, paying bills, cleaning (vacuuming/sweeping/scrubbing/etc), and much more. Are you really going to get bothered if a single "thank you" is missed? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Well with this specific incident, I think he was more annoyed bout "All I ask for is a thanks. I even promited her by saying did you see my text that I got that done for you today and she ignored it and answered another question I asked instead." First, she didn't recognize it, then she ignored it. So maybe she was being passive aggressive about it and annoyed it he brought it up. Anyways it seems like this one incident is just a trigger for something else underlying. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Most of the time she says thanks. If that's the case, then you can just let this one go. She may be distracted; and may even remember a few days from now, and say 'thanks' then. Where we want to be careful is with people who seldom or almost never say thanks or express their appreciation of our efforts...which happens if they feel entitled. On the other hand, if we are usually competent and always being helpful, then other people may not recognize or have insight into all our personal resources that went into us getting it done, or that what we did was quite effortful for us, or took us out of our way, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Where did the favor fall on the spectrum of 'pick up some milk on the home' to 'changed the brakes on her car'? How long have you been together? Do you live together? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 On the occasions when she has said thanks, then what is your response to that? Do you say you're welcome and drop it, or do you say, You owe me or You can thank me later or something like that? Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 you say thanks every time? you sound very formal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 you say thanks every time? you sound very formal or very Canadian? Link to post Share on other sites
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