Pippix Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 I'm currently unemployed at the moment and i'm working hard at trying to find something. During conversations with guys on dating sites, they are eventually asking me what job I do and when I say looking for a job they then act weird with me and the conversation seems to end. It's got to the point now where i'm dreading them asking because I already feel stressed about the situation as it is. Is there anyone else on here who is online dating and in the same situation as me, what answer do you give?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 Can you put dating on hold for a bit until you find a job? What line of work are you in?
Author Pippix Posted March 10, 2019 Author Posted March 10, 2019 I usually work retail and i'm not in a position where I can't date.
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 Just say I'm in the retail field & leave it at that. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 i'm not in a position where I can't date. Huh? What does that mean? 3
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 Just say "currently looking for a new job" "going through a career change at the moment" or "right now in between jobs" and leave it at that. Let them decide if they want to continue talking or not. No need to lie You don't want to establish a connection with a guy by lying to him But understand ultimately it's a guys choice of whether he is willing to talk to a girl that's unemployed or not So be okay with the fact that some will stop talking to you and focus on the guy who continues to talk to you despite You want a guy who accepts you 1
Cersei Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 I would put dating on the back burner for now. You likely won't get a quality guy without a job.
FMW Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 Sorry, I know this isn't what you were asking, but I was struck by your response. You always have the choice to be in a position NOT to date. It really sounds like you need to put the focus used up in your strong desire to date on your employment situation for a while. But to answer your question, the suggestions by posters above were good. 1
alphamale Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 Huh? What does that mean? it means that dating doesn't affect her work or career CO
Author Pippix Posted March 10, 2019 Author Posted March 10, 2019 (edited) If a guy is going to judge me for not having a job then he's not someone I want to be talking to. All of us at some point have been in the situation and most should understand what it's like. I've struggled with periods of unemployment for over a year (long story) and i've been doing temporary jobs, i've been dating guys in that time and none of them have had a problem with it. I'm completely fine dating whilst unemployed, I can afford to pay for my myself and dating is something I want to do. Thanks d0nnivain and Curiousroxy86 for your suggestions. Edited March 10, 2019 by Pippix
smackie9 Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 (edited) These days it's normal for people to be in and out of jobs/careers/ looking for better/or their contract ran out. I agree you can word it so you can sell it as you having a positive professional attitude about going forward looking for work without looking like a scrub. Just don't say you had a falling out or you were butting heads with your boss. Most people, like myself see that as a red flag. Edited March 10, 2019 by smackie9
Happy Lemming Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 You could always be mysterious about it. "I'm not at liberty to discuss my work... let's just say I collect data and leave it at that" I can't take credit for that line, I dated one woman that worked for the government and when I asked what she did, that was her response. It didn't deter me from dating her. Work was just a subject that was off limits. My job (at that time) was boring, so we talked about other subjects.
Mrin Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 i'm not in a position where I can't date. I still don't understand this statement. Gives me all sorts of red flags. What do you mean? 1
mightybop Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 I still don't understand this statement. Gives me all sorts of red flags. What do you mean? I think it means there's no reason why she can't be dating. In other words, has a car, money, her own place. That's how I understand it. 1
mightybop Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 Many guys would rather date a nice, pretty, fun girl that is unemployed than some cold, entitled girl that makes 6 figures. Exactly. I sent off a message to a woman after digging her profile. Her response: "I make over 120k a year and looking for someone who makes at least 90k...." I couldn't believe it. Huge turnoff. I would never date that person. Can you imagine the person who actually fits that criteria and they actually start dating and somehow it lasts years. "Honey, remember when we told each other how much money we make? I knew it was true love right then..." Whatever, I guess the woman knows what she wants.
FMW Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 How someone feels about employment/finances is an important part of compatibility. While some wouldn't think a thing about unemployment, temporary or otherwise, others would have at least some concern about it - whether that seems fair or not. OP stated that if her employment status kept someone from being interested in her that they wouldn't be the right person for her anyway. Exactly. So OP represent your situation honestly (as in don't say you're looking for your next job if you currently aren't), but don't go into great detail.
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