Loveisugly123 Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 So I knew this guy for a year or two but recently started dating him this year 2019. Yesterday was his birthday (March). He had a huge mansion part and during the day he had models take pictures in his clothes which is his company. On snapchat it was a big thing he had a cake and his friends and family were there once the photo shoot was done the models went home I'm not sure if all but the ne had a party. And today he posted that its round 2 today ! WHAT SHOULD I DO ! WHAT SHOULD I SAY. I need a plan but im not really sure how to go about this? Do i text first ect...
BaileyB Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 He had a birthday party and didn’t invite you? Is that what you are saying? I’m not sure I would say anything. The next time he called, I don’t even know that I would say “hello...” 5
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 If was a work thing to promote his clothing company & you weren't invited that would be one thing. But this sounds like it was also a personal birthday party. I suppose you could meet up with him on Monday & tell him how hurt you are to have been excluded but in all candor there is no explanation on earth that would appease me enough to be able to continue dating him. He has intentionally excluded you -- his new GF -- from an important event in his life. To me that looks like him illuminating a giant sign pointing to the door & inviting you to exit. 2
preraph Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 He didn't invite you because he had models there and didn't want you in the way. I can guarantee you that's what it's about, and it's unforgivable. Even a business party, he should have brought you as his date if you're supposedly his girlfriend! He is chasing models and he doesn't really care if you like it or not, so I think you can stop answering his calls or texts and you won't be missing out on anything except more misery and humiliation. 2
Sunlight72 Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 (edited) Well.... yep, I get where you're coming from. But - you two haven't been together very long, and - if this is his work thing, and it's a BIG work thing, and it is HIS company, then he has a lot of resources in this and he is likely SUPER busy and occupied with making it all happen and keeping it on track. It is called a "party", but for him it is not only work, it is an unusually important work event. I would expect for him it is high-pressure and he really needs to be focused. Find something else to do with Your friends or family today. Tomorrow, or when you talk to him next, tell him you hope it went well for him and see what he says about it. If, after you hear some from him, you still feel you want to tell him you felt left out then say it. If you've only been dating for 2 months, I don't find it alarming that he did not invite you to meet his family and all his friends, right in the middle of a big business event he is coordinating. You should find something fun to do for yourself with your friends so you also have something to tell him about when you talk. Edited March 9, 2019 by Sunlight72 2
Author Loveisugly123 Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 (edited) Yes. Good idea thanks at this point I think It's better for me to move on . Edited March 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Delete quote and merge duplicate threads
Sunlight72 Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 Well.... yep, I get where you're coming from. But - you two haven't been together very long, and - if this is his work thing, and it's a BIG work thing, and it is HIS company, then he has a lot of resources in this and he is likely SUPER busy and occupied with making it all happen and keeping it on track. It is called a "party", but for him it is not only work, it is an unusually important work event. I would expect for him it is high-pressure and he really needs to be focused. Find something else to do with Your friends or family today. Tomorrow, or when you talk to him next, tell him you hope it went well for him and see what he says about it. If, after you hear some from him, you still feel you want to tell him you felt left out then say it. If you've only been dating for 2 months, I don't find it alarming that he did not invite you to meet his family and all his friends, right in the middle of a big business event he is coordinating. You should find something fun to do for yourself with your friends so you also have something to tell him about when you talk.
Sunlight72 Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 He didn't invite you because he had models there and didn't want you in the way. I can guarantee you that's what it's about, and it's unforgivable. Even a business party, he should have brought you as his date if you're supposedly his girlfriend! He is chasing models and he doesn't really care if you like it or not, so I think you can stop answering his calls or texts and you won't be missing out on anything except more misery and humiliation.Yea, I don't know about all that. Firstly, the OP didn't say if the models are male or female. Also - really? He should have brought this woman who he's been on (we don't know) 3 or 5 dates with to meet all his friends and his family? During a work event? I didn't see enough details to jump to the conclusions you're hurdling on this one. 1
Sunlight72 Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 Yes. Good idea thanks at this point I think It's better for me to move on .OK. You know a lot more details than I do, and have a feeling for what's up. Best wishes.
fred123 Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 are u his girlfri3nd? donnvan- if there were just seeing each other and not gf and bf yet would it still be bad?
Versacehottie Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 It sounds like it was mainly a work thing (and bragging rights with his friends). That said, having been around guys when they are around models, your guy sounds like he is not all the way in (with you). He sounds like he might be under some delusional thinking that models that are there to work would be interested in him and it's a "chance" for him....which he wants to utilize. It may or may not work, depending on how good looking, how successful and how professional the models are. Or there could be the very off chance that there is real chemistry with one of them, no matter those other circumstances. It boils down to trust--since his work is his clothing line this will come up again--and his level of commitment to you. I think not including you in some part of his birthday celebration (maybe not yesterday but today) lets you know how serious he is about you. He does sound like he has some maturing to do. Some guys who have an opportunity to bring beautiful women around and assert some influence never grow out of it so you'd want to pay attention if there is a difference where he "could" get to that point where it's just an immature phase. My recommendation is to let him contact you and act strong when he does. Also like you are indifferent about him since he has been dismissive of you. The thing about a guy who gets validation from pretty girls around him and status, money is that i think they rarely grow out of it. It's an inferiority complex that they compensate with by surrounding themselves with things other people want on the surface (pretty girls who are paid to be there and money, objects). You have to ask yourselves since you've been getting to know each other well since january why he would risk things with you. And why still need to show to the outside world "how much he has" and "what girls he can pull (even fakery pull)". A lot for you to consider and reevaluate. Put yourself in the drivers seat of deciding. It's really your decision so take that stance. You have nothing to prove to him. I'm typically against knee jerk reactions since there rarely is one sure fire course of action where you will have enough information to know that you've made the right decision for you and will have regret since your heart is tied in if you don't gather more before you do it. A lot of the time it's not grilling the other person, but letting them know your boundaries and observing what they do and how they handle when you maturely handle yourself when upset, (not too many words, but very clear and within your actions). Ok good luck 2
Author Loveisugly123 Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 (edited) Right I understand thanks! So I should establish my boundaries but also tell him I felt. But like you said he needs to grew up and im not for babysitting grew men! Edited March 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 donnvan- if there were just seeing each other and not gf and bf yet would it still be bad? Not exactly but here's the thing . . . because she is so upset about the lack of an invite, even if they weren't official, this was a harsh way to learn that she was more into him then he was into her. 2
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 There's no way to know for sure. Several people make good points but I like what Sunlight has to say. I've had events I've invited family and/or close friends to that I wouldn't invite a new bf to because I know with family and close friends I don't have to entertain them or introduce them around when I'm trying to move around and give attention to others I need to network with or do business with. These kind of events affect my career and my income, presently and long term. My family and close friends know I don't have much time to spend with them at events that are related to my work but they sometimes attend to support me or share the event with me LATER on discussing it. I would want to be more attentive with a new bf than I'd have time to be at a work-related event. Wait and see. 1
Author Loveisugly123 Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 Yea, I don't know about all that. Firstly, the OP didn't say if the models are male or female. Also - really? He should have brought this woman who he's been on (we don't know) 3 or 5 dates with to meet all his friends and his family? During a work event? I didn't see enough details to jump to the conclusions you're hurdling on this one. Yeah just because I can't help but think what if he's seeing someone else seriously and he doesnt want "us"( me and the other girl) to be around each other. But this is my theory I will never know. Its a lot of guessing and I just dont have a lot of energy to give to this issue. I know if I will ask he wont tell the truth so.. 1
preraph Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 I could be biased by my past experience in the record business. You would never have known half the guys I worked with and around were married because they excluded their wives from the festivities, especially when there would be models or pretty recording artists or label call girls there. Because that's how those parties went down. I'll answer now as if it was male models. It was also his birthday party. It's his business, so if she was his girlfriend, why not invite her? Surely his parents aren't there for only a business party? He doesn't have to introduce her to his parents as anything beyond another guest anyway. I bet there were some women there he wanted to take a shot at bad enough he excluded the one that wants something to do with him.
SunnyWeather Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 (edited) Did you know it was his birthday before or did you find out via social media? My short answer is he showed you where you fit into his life, and it ain't all that much. Periphery at best. From your description, it was a party, a big long party that began with a photo shoot, and by your description, was still going on at 2pm the next day, yes? If you really were in his life, you definitely should've been there. Even after a few months dating, if someone is into you they would've wanted you there. Now, if you two are not on the same page, and he's dating or interested in others who would be there or family members who know his main squeeze, I could see why he wouldn't want you there- awkward! Perhaps there were activities going on he didn't want you to know about... No, I wouldn't text him, and I would find other things to do and be less available. Maybe go out with him again, if you want casual and fun times. But, don't expect this to be more than that. Edited March 9, 2019 by SunnyWeather
amaysngrace Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 It’s too soon to mix business with pleasure. Wouldn’t you be bent if your BF of two months had your same reaction under similar circumstances? I know I would be. I’d see him as jealous and controlling. 1
preraph Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 ^ It was his birthday and his parents were there. Why would you invite your parents to a business party? 1
Versacehottie Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 It’s too soon to mix business with pleasure. Wouldn’t you be bent if your BF of two months had your same reaction under similar circumstances? I know I would be. I’d see him as jealous and controlling. Totally valid point. He may have had a past experience where a jealous girlfriend was a burden in this type of work event. Or just have the feeling that he needs to entertain OP or be by her side at this event and it's not the right venue for that. OP, doesn't sound particularly jealous but maybe he's overly worried about it or she is and he doesn't want that vibe around an important work event or to take a chance on that. He might have business partners to which he is responsible. And just in general not be ready to intro his new gf to everyone in his life. I think what is telling me that leans toward another assessment of him being immature and insecure-ish and not all in with the OP, is that in and of itself, a model photo shoot combo with birthday party at a mansion reeks of his own desperation and makes him sound really amateur level for both his company, his line. Reminds me of guys who throw together some sh*tty clothing line backed by some other sleazy guy and use it as an excuse to throw a bunch of money at a "photo shoot" and hey why not combine it with one of the partners birthday parties. They are the ones making themselves look lame and unprofessional. Guessing that the probably have some cheesy "models" (using the term lightly) there because good ones can see through this and wouldn't be booked for it. That said, they are probably most susceptible to guys who throw money at things ridiculously. Cheesy=cheesy. User=user. Looking for arm candy=willing to be bought as arm candy. Bottom line the mentality if that indeed is what is going on, won't change whether or not models are around. In other words, it's not just models you would need to worry about--this is a guy who is always looking for validation in someone else and doesn't appreciate you when you are right in front of him. 1
Author Loveisugly123 Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 Well, let's find out. Are the models women or men? Both more men then girls though 1
Author Loveisugly123 Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 ^ It was his birthday and his parents were there. Why would you invite your parents to a business party? They came after everything was done 1
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