Cupids_Failure84 Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 (edited) Hi All Life can be cruel sometimes can’t it as I personally think that I have already failed at the first hurdle because I messaged this lady on a dating application 2 weeks and 3 days ago now then just yesterday she replied to my message asking me: “How are you? Have you been single long?” Unfortunately I could not reply to her message until 9 hours later because of being so busy and had a stomach ache which I had to recover from first as well not only did I say this to her minus the stomach ache, apologised to her for being so late in replying to her message and flirted by saying “I always have time for that special someone”. But answered her question by telling her a white lie saying “I have been single now for a good 5 years because I am very selective and have been told off by my friends for being too selective whoops!” I basically said this to make her feel more important and that I want to get to know her better to hopefully have a date with her soon if we get along online. Since 9:00pm last night I have been waiting for a reply and beating myself up as this lady was online when I sent the message to her but still I have not had a reply from her, I have been thinking allsorts from “I have blown it because it took me 9 hours to message her back. Should I have said “I have been single now for a good 5 years because I am very selective and have been told off by my friends for being too selective whoops!” to her?, it is a bit strange that she messaged me without viewing my profile first and just looking at my small Avatar of myself instead!, She said on her dating profile that “I’ve been on here so many times and yet I still have faith that it works” and I have spent far too long being single and I think I’m too good at it! I like my own company and I don’t get bored or lonely.” So I am questioning everything really especially because from: November 2018-2019 I met another lady on a Social Media Network application and we were liking each other’s posts, sending flirty messages and were getting on. But suddenly she went cold on me 6 months later, I think the reason behind this was the fact that in October 2018 she had broken up with her previous boyfriend and was still in mourning and so I cannot help but feel that I was in fact her ‘Rebound Partner!” so was being used by her for her selfish needs! I look forward to your replies to hopefully show me some light at the end of a very dark tunnel! All the very best, Cupids_Failure84 Edited March 7, 2019 by Cupids_Failure84
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 You're kidding, right? She waited 3+ WEEKS to get back to you. She has no business getting annoyed because you waited 9 hours. I would have been really insulted by her remark that she always has time for that special someone. Dude, if she thought you were special, she wouldn't have taken more than 25 days -- almost a whole month -- to get back to you! When she messaged you, she was home, bored & had probably been drinking. She was using you to entertain herself on a cold night when she had nothing else to do. She's not interested. Do not tell people you have been single for 5 years because you are too picky. Most folks will interpret that negatively. It comes across like you don't have the social skills to accept another person's flaws & you have unreasonable expectations for a partner which make you undateable. Instead say something like -- I have been single for long enough to know I am ready for & open to a new relationship . In that 6 months you were flirting with the prior woman, did you ever meet? If you never took this off line, she didn't disappear because she was hung up on an EX. She disappeared because you weren't making a move. 2
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 Yes I interpreted "your picky" comment as negative....like you are arrogant and no one is ever good enough. Big turn off. If you want to set a good impression, stop playing games and just respond normal like, "I've been single for awhile, how about you? I would like to meet you for a coffee sometime. When are you free?" If you get no response, move on. 2
chillii Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 Yeah ahhh, you apologized and explained just for being 9 hours late when she took weeks, wt ! And yeah , just say awhile or whatever man you gotta relax a bit it's only one little reply from one person that took weeks with half a line on it, means nothing yet. You talking to others right ? 1
Normm Posted March 8, 2019 Posted March 8, 2019 (edited) You messaged back and forth with a girl for 6 months and she suddenly went dark? You never met her during those 6 months of messaging? If that's correct, well you're doing it wrong. Dating sites are not for sending messages back and forth for months. It's for meeting people. If you just want to send messages back and forth to strangers then spend more time on FaceBook. I would have been really insulted by her remark that she always has time for that special someone. That was his remark not hers. Edited March 8, 2019 by Normm
olivetree Posted March 8, 2019 Posted March 8, 2019 She took weeks to respond to you so she probably wasn't that interested in the first place. The 9 hours is no big deal in any case. I think you gave away a bit too much in your response there and you didn't ask her a question to respond to. Not a fan of the "whoops" at the end there either. Something more like casual like "Yes I have been. Getting back out there." Then change the subject and ask her something more interesting. Another critique: your sentences are too long and hard to read. It comes off like you are a rambler and don't take breaths when you speak. Use more periods.
Foxhall Posted March 8, 2019 Posted March 8, 2019 Don't be stressing and thinking so much about it, I did not fully read your post but from what I gather you are getting all worked up about someone you have never met and you are stressing about the time it takes to get an online reply!! the online facility should only be thought of as a means of introducing yourself with a view to meeting the person, to see if there is a connection in reality speaking to someone online is vastly different to meeting in person, I have always found it is quite easy to get a first date with online dating- perhaps not so easy to get a second date! anyway my point is you will get plenty of dating opportunities, no need to be stressing about one particular potential contact or putting to much thought into your replies, people can sense this overthinking even in messages and it can be a turn off. just speak casually and avoid trying to second guess the other person ( a person who at the end of the day is a complete stranger)
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