Freeway Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 (edited) Hi! I’m an introvert. I like being by myself most of the time. But I have this girl in my life that we just moved in together. It’s kinda stressful sometimes wanting to be alone some days. I love this girl, she’s amazing, sweet, loving woman but in the future being 40 and retired sound more ideal to me. I don’t mind working 100 hour weeks but if I lose this girl, then I don’t think I will ever be in a relationship again being that I’m quiet and won’t venture out. Advice on my situation? I’m the boyfriend of the girl. Tyler Edited March 6, 2019 by Freeway
Lotsgoingon Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 Two things ... speak up ... she should know that you need time alone ... and two, practice spending time with her spending absolutely zero energy ... like just reading a book with her nearby ... not talking much ... Definitely tell her ... if she can't handle your introversion, the relationship wasn't going to work anyway. 1
preraph Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 I agree, you just have a little talk with her. Say, It's so great being with you, but you know, I am not used to having someone around all the time and I'm introverted and like a lot of alone downtime, like reading or whatever, alone in my room. I hope you're not going to be insulted when I need to do that?
soyou Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 I think you can just tell her in a gentle way and she should be very understanding "hey babe, I'm an introvert and I really need to have a lot of time for myself. I love you to death and this has nothing to do with you. But would you mind if I can have some evenings/day/time/XX alone by myself just doing what I like to do?" Good luck!
smackie9 Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 Tyler I get you. You think by saying you want your space would offend her or upset her. If she knows how much of an introvert you are, she should be able to understand. Since you two live together, set up a schedule of your date nights, and the nights you want to go hide in the other room to tap on the ol' laptop. if there is a day you really want the place to yourself for a few hours, pay for her to get a pedicure or a nice trip to the day spa. I think she will appreciate that. BTW I know you are in a bit of a panic just moving in together. I remember when my husband moved in...it took almost a year for me to adjust to having him there all the time, the extra shopping and cleaning and setting boundaries/rules. there were moments when things weren't blissful lol Trust me, things do get better with time, just have some patience and communicate. 1
kendahke Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 Hi! I’m an introvert. I like being by myself most of the time. But I have this girl in my life that we just moved in together. It’s kinda stressful sometimes wanting to be alone some days. I love this girl, she’s amazing, sweet, loving woman but in the future being 40 and retired sound more ideal to me. I don’t mind working 100 hour weeks but if I lose this girl, then I don’t think I will ever be in a relationship again being that I’m quiet and won’t venture out. Advice on my situation? I’m the boyfriend of the girl. Tyler You need to decide what is more important to you: being alone or this girl and wrap your head around the fact that you will most likely lose one when you pick the other. One lesson in life you need to learn: you can't have everything you want. Sometimes, you have to pick one and live contently and quietly with the consequences. Don't expect for her to stick around waiting on you to let her in--eventually, she's going to get sick of being shut out and will find someone who will let her in. That's just human nature.
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 You live together. Just come up with some boundaries. My husband is an introvert. He has his man cave & I don't venture in there too often. I leave him alone with his preferred solitary pursuits. But he makes the effort to have dinner with me. he goes to sleep a lot later then I do but he'll come to bed with me & snuggle for a few minutes as I drift off to sleep. I like to go out; he likes to stay in so I go out & he stays in, no Qs asked & both of us are happy. Years ago I was living with someone & his parents had to stay with us for several months. They were right there when I came home from work. My SO got home later then me so I was used to having about an hour of quiet time. Now I had to content with guests. We made a deal: I came home & chatted with them for 5 minutes, then retreated into the bedroom & closed the door. When I was ready to socialize again I came out but they were not to knock unless it was an emergency. Those few minutes of solitude helped. So my advice is stake out your territory but still love your GF 1
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