Trojan Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 So I recently told a coworker that I had a crush on him. In so many words he told me he was unavailable. When we text he randomly mentions another girl who we both know. At first I thought he was just trying to Make me jealous but then I noticed on social media he follows her and likes all of her statuses and pics but never likes any of mine. We exchanged numbers but He never texts me. Any way I took this as a big rejection and although I was hurt, I was determined to move forward. Whenever I see him I act like I never told him I liked him and I treat him like any other coworker. However I’ve noticed that he watches me when I’m not looking and seems very excited when he sees me. This person even walks up to me and randomly gives me hugs . I never see him showing this type of affection to anyone else, even the girl that he keeps mentioning. So we Why would a guy show affection toward someone he’s not interested in.
PsXtreme Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 I am in a similar situation, I think I may have rejected a co-worker but it was because I was scared due to company policy and really I was too stupid to know she was trying to ask me out. I could only wish my boss had been this direct to tell me she liked me and asked me out. I would have been like hell yes! I will sneak glances at her and in some ways I feel like she knows I actually like her and is just using this to her advantage, but I fall for it anyways because I like her. I feel like this guy may like you but feels like being co-workers makes things more complicated. Whats the company policy on relationships?
TheFinalWord Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 Just an ego boost and he probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings. This is the awkward part about dating at work. 1
Author Trojan Posted March 4, 2019 Author Posted March 4, 2019 Yes that’s kinda what I was thinking. Every time he hugs me I feel a little bit of hope in my heart that he may actually like me. But then again, who am I kidding. Lol
ExpatInItaly Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 He likes the attention he gets from you; it puffs him up to know you like him. Unfortunately, his interest stops there. He'd have reached out to you personally on the number you gave him if he wanted to explore this further. 1
Author Trojan Posted March 6, 2019 Author Posted March 6, 2019 Yea I’d have to agree. My gut tells me he isn’t attracted to me and would never In a million years date someone like me. I honestly don’t even think I’m his type physically. The woman he always mentions fits more of what society views as beautiful and I’m far from that. I guess it’s nice for some men to have a woman crazy over them. I just feel that he should be sensitive to my feelings. Next time he tries to hug me I will walk away.
preraph Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 He isn't interested in you. He's just nervous and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and also nervous you'll go talking about his situation, so he's staying on your good side. Just fade out.
smackie9 Posted March 6, 2019 Posted March 6, 2019 It's called keeping you on the hook and you don't want to go there. It is your job to set personal boundaries with him and say "Jason I don't feel comfortable you hugging me, could you please not do it? I wish to keep our relationship as professional as possible, thank you." or just stay out of his space...he will back off.
spiderowl Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 He has said he is not available so you are wise in taking him at his word. I would definitely put a stop to the hugging though. He is not available so he should not be making physical contact with you, knowing that you like him in that way. Drawing boundaries can be a very good thing. It can force the other person to think about what they really want.
mortensorchid Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 I've been there in two situations. One coworker I had years ago had a thing for me and I was not interested in him. He was a creepy IT guy, but that qas, wow, 20 years ago now. The other? I had a thing for him a d I was rejected. All I can say is that I am happy I no longer work at either of those jobs and never have to see either of them anymore. I say this with all respect and looking out for your and everyone else's feelings and safety in mind : coworkers are NOT FRIENDS. It's easy to think they are because you spend more time with them than you will with anyone else. It's best to not associate with them. Be nice but not too nice. Don't share much about yourself and what you do outside of work. Have a network of friends and acquaintances outside of work. If you are ever asked to be part of something outside of work, decline and plead a previous engagement. I know you feel a want and need for companionship of some kind, but work is not where you find it. Comes from all the abuses I have suffered in my working life.
Author Trojan Posted March 8, 2019 Author Posted March 8, 2019 I appreciate your responses. I will take all of your words of wisdom and continue moving forward. I have put in my two weeks notice, because I know myself and this will be the only way I can move on. It wasn’t my forever job anyway. Thankfully I have something else lined up.
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