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I want her back but she has a boyfriend now?

Danish_Guy

By Danish_Guy
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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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Hi. This is my story with a girl.

 

Back in 2016, I met a girl in college whom I fell head over heels with. I was graduating and a player and she was the first girl I felt "love at first sight" for. She was a new student there.

 

I actively chased her but wasn't able to talk so she came over. But I was too desperate to get with her before I left but I asked her if we met before, she said no and I cut her off as I didn't like her response. I was extremely annoyed at her and just ignored her.

 

5 months later in that year, saw her again at college. But my feelings had changed. I was no longer romantically interested but I still remembered her.

 

I still found her gorgeous but didn't really chase her. Until in February the next year, I was tempted to see if she would talk to me.

 

She did and I understood she still liked me as she complimented me one time on my looks and I caught it. She even asked me for coffee but I rejected her offer.

 

I liked the fact that this gorgeous girl was giving me attention so I just played around with her. Would ignore her in front of my friends but only talk in private.

 

I already had a friends with benefits and a couple of girls whom I was sleeping with so made no efforts to be with her. I only wanted to talk when I visited the university but I had kept putting my friends on a pedestal and spent time with them while ignoring her all the time except when I was away from my friends.

 

Eventually, she quit talking to me due to my mind games and I revenged her by ignoring her even more until I saw her looking extra gorgeous and decided to try again. I tested her by greeting her first and she responded with a big smile. But I didn't stop for a chat, hoping she would chase me. She didn't chase me and I snapped.

 

Over the next few days, I was so livid that I kept throwing her dirty looks which she picked up and approached me for a talk. She told me she was confused but I cut her off, not wanting to engage in any talks.

 

I moved away to a different country. She wished me farewell through a friend.

 

I didn't bother and had started dating other girls and never thought about her.

 

Until this girl I was with ended up fighting a lot with me and she was extremely clingy.

She also never understood my feelings and we got into lot of arguments. I eventually broke up with her and moved back to my country

 

6 weeks ago, I bumped into my "ex" at a book store. She recognised me and for me, it was "love at first sight" 2.0 again.

 

She still looks the same, maybe even more beautiful. For some reason, I was thrilled to see her. It was as if all my memories which lay dormant for the last 2 years resurfaced.

 

Unfortunately, I found out that she's dating some guy now. She agreed to be friends with me but this thought hurts me. It was like a sword pierced through my heart.

 

I visit her daily as she doesn't live with her boyfriend for some reason. I know she still has love for me somewhere in her heart as the way she looks at me is still the same as she used to back in university. She doesn't even look at her boyfriend like that and it is very evident that shes missing something in her life. It is the same eye contact and look we used to share years ago.

 

What can I do? Should I break their relationship? I made a mistake and want her back now?

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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You had so many changes & you threw them all away. You have already hurt her so many times. Don't do it again. She's in a relationship. Leave her to be happy in that relationship. If that relationship ends for some reason having nothing to do with you, if you find yourself single too, you can ask her out then, not before.

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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You had so many changes & you threw them all away. You have already hurt her so many times. Don't do it again. She's in a relationship. Leave her to be happy in that relationship. If that relationship ends for some reason having nothing to do with you, if you find yourself single too, you can ask her out then, not before.

 

I'm single. And I don't play around anymore. My last relationship left me drained and sucked out.

 

But she doesn't live with him inspite of the fact they have been together for 8 months.

And if she still has hatred or hurt then why is she still talking to me. It doesn't make sense

I admit I ****ed up a lot but I'm amending myself and what I did to her

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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I made a mistake and want her back now?

 

Tough luck, man.

 

Let this be an important life lesson for you. She doesn't feel the way you do at this point. You're not amending yourself if you set out to break up her relationship.

 

Leave her be. She knows where to find out if she changes her mind.

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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Tough luck, man.

 

Let this be an important life lesson for you. She doesn't feel the way you do at this point. You're not amending yourself if you set out to break up her relationship.

 

Leave her be. She knows where to find out if she changes her mind.

 

If she doesnt then why does she still look at me how she used to ? That is a look of pure love and I know it as we had these exchanges a lot back then ..

Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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She is hardly your ex (unless I'm misunderstanding the story). So you really don't have much of a history of her to reel her back in. In fact, most of what interactions you've had with her have been pretty negative.

 

IMO, you need to grow up a bit. Even the way you speak about the situation here kind of shows that you haven't. She is a pretty girl with a boyfriend. She for sure will have a lot of options and doesn't need to put up with your emo bs. I think you blew it unfortunately.

Wallysbears Established Member

Wallysbears

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Doesn’t sound like you two even really dated?

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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Doesn’t sound like you two even really dated?

 

No we didnt

We almost dated but I kinda ruined it

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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She is hardly your ex (unless I'm misunderstanding the story). So you really don't have much of a history of her to reel her back in. In fact, most of what interactions you've had with her have been pretty negative.

 

IMO, you need to grow up a bit. Even the way you speak about the situation here kind of shows that you haven't. She is a pretty girl with a boyfriend. She for sure will have a lot of options and doesn't need to put up with your emo bs. I think you blew it unfortunately.

 

We do have history together so I dont know what are you trying to imply that I can't feel her in as there's no history?

We knew each other for over a year

 

I admit I played with her before but now I sincerely love her

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I can't see that she was ever interested in you as a romantic prospect.

Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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We do have history together so I dont know what are you trying to imply that I can't feel her in as there's no history?

We knew each other for over a year

 

I admit I played with her before but now I sincerely love her

 

I mean a dating history. I see some talking to each other, some flirting. Not sure that it ever culminated into a first date, unless you left that part out. For her to care enough if she is like most girls, you two probably would have had to been boyfriend/girlfriend yourselves.

 

To me, you toyed with her, got sulky and acted like a player as much or more than any dating you did. I think now that she has a good guy in her life she might see you as a jerk and those things will stand out more than any flirtation that happened.

Mrin Established Member

Mrin

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Dude you acted like a head case.

 

Just chill and hope you get another chance.

Wallysbears Established Member

Wallysbears

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You don’t love her. You don’t even really know her

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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Dude you acted like a head case.

 

Just chill and hope you get another chance.

 

What does this mean??

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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You don’t love her. You don’t even really know her

 

I do. I ve been visiting her everyday and we talk a lot.

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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I mean a dating history. I see some talking to each other, some flirting. Not sure that it ever culminated into a first date, unless you left that part out. For her to care enough if she is like most girls, you two probably would have had to been boyfriend/girlfriend yourselves.

 

To me, you toyed with her, got sulky and acted like a player as much or more than any dating you did. I think now that she has a good guy in her life she might see you as a jerk and those things will stand out more than any flirtation that happened.

 

I already mentioned we are on friendly terms and i visit her DAILY. You don't even know her bf so how are you calling him a good guy.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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If she doesnt then why does she still look at me how she used to ? That is a look of pure love and I know it as we had these exchanges a lot back then ..

 

It sounds a lot more like projection to me.

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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It sounds a lot more like projection to me.

 

It's not.

 

Also I didn't add but when I asked her about the old times, she began crying

She said nothing but cried.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
basil67 Established Member

basil67

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My take away was the she complimented you once, stays in touch and gives some nice smiles. Sounds like a friendship to me.

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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it wasn't friendship as I would on stare and make eye contact and she reciprocated to actually come over and talk. Even asked me for coffee

Also we are in touch NOW. We weren't in touch since the last 3 years.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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It's not.

Also I didn't add but when I asked her about the old times, she began crying

She said nothing but cried.

 

 

 

It doesn't change my opinion that much of this seems like projection on your part. I get that you were hoping to hear something different, but based on the details you provided, I don't share your opinion that she currently loves you.

 

Sorry.

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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It doesn't change my opinion that much of this seems like projection on your part. I get that you were hoping to hear something different, but based on the details you provided, I don't share your opinion that she currently loves you.

 

Sorry.

 

Why did she cry ?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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I already mentioned we are on friendly terms and i visit her DAILY. You don't even know her bf so how are you calling him a good guy.

 

um, as far as I can tell you JUST mentioned that. After my last post. No one here is trying to argue with you. You want neutral advice that you can't provide yourself. That's what you are getting.

 

I think if she is talking to you everyday then you have a girl who has the potential to cheat on her bf now.... and on you in the future.

 

Anyway, i stand by what i've said all along, it doesn't look promising even if she is talking to you every day. You still never answered whether you've ever been on ONE date? Or are you just imagining this relationship?

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Danish_Guy Member

Danish_Guy

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um, as far as I can tell you JUST mentioned that. After my last post. No one here is trying to argue with you. You want neutral advice that you can't provide yourself. That's what you are getting.

 

I think if she is talking to you everyday then you have a girl who has the potential to cheat on her bf now.... and on you in the future.

 

Anyway, i stand by what i've said all along, it doesn't look promising even if she is talking to you every day. You still never answered whether you've ever been on ONE date? Or are you just imagining this relationship?

 

You are seriously judging the whole situation in an incorrect way.

No we never went on a date. We almost did but I clearly wrote her response pissed me off and I just cut her off.

So what? We were acquaintainces that time and we both liked each other but it was hampered as i was busy being a player.

 

And if I was "imagining " she wouldnt cry when I mentioned the old days so stop trying to prove that there was nothing.

And now you are literally going ahead and calling her a cheater? Wow thats some advice you give

 

And why does it not look promising ? May I know?

Gretchen12 Established Member

Gretchen12

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What stops you from confessing your feelings for her and asking her to leave her boyfriend for you? Are you afraid she would reject you? Or you have high morals about stealing some guy's girlfriend? Which is it? Be honest.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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