Aussie90 Posted March 3, 2019 Posted March 3, 2019 Hi everyone, I am hoping I can get some different views on a certain situation I find myself in. To sum it up I like this girl from work and I am not sure if she likes me, as I am getting mixed messages. I am 28 and this girl is around 25, we work in different departments at work and used to communicate via e-mail when the time required it, we were always professional and she seemed nice, now it sounds funny but I did not even know what this girl looked like until she came up on facebook as a suggested friend, I was blown away by how gorgeous she looked and I decided to add her on facebook. She accepted my request and I messaged her and we talked throughout the day, then the next day she didn’t reply at all so I thought, okay I guess that is that. Fast forward 2 weeks and I went into the lunch room at work and didn’t even notice she was sat on the table next to mine, as she leaves she says hi and waves and smiles, now I know this could be considered just being friendly but considering she didn’t have to do it, it made me think. So I thought let's bite the bullet again and message, so I messaged her on that day and again we got talking, from what I can tell she is not on facebook much so maybe we will send 2-3 messages a day but this continued for a few days and on one of the days I made a joke about when she will graduate as she is studying, that I will buy her a drink to which she said "yeah I will hold you to that", after I said "well I can get you one before that if you like" to which she ignored on her next message as we were also talking about other things. Now that tells me she is most likely not interested in anything romantic however my question to anyone that is reading this is, why would she continue to talk to me if she is not interested at all? The first thing that comes to mind is maybe she is just being polite however she stopped talking to me in the past so why not now? I wouldn’t normally think this much into things but so far I like everything about this girl, she seemes good hearted, has the same values as me etc but I do not want to make it awkward by trying again, any advice or even have you found yourself in a similiar postion before and can you tell me what went on with it?
I'veseenbetterlol Posted March 3, 2019 Posted March 3, 2019 If you are getting mixed signals that is actually a clear signal. Means she isn't interested. I was always one to analyze small things a guy did to find if he was interested. Turns out I didn't have to try that hard. My partner gave clear signals and didn't play any games. 2
FMW Posted March 3, 2019 Posted March 3, 2019 I agree that mixed signals are signals not to pursue. She might be somewhat interested in you, but for some reason just doesn't want to interact with you too much. Maybe there's someone else she's getting over or still seeing, maybe she has other things going on in her life that mean she doesn't have time or interest in possible romantic relationships. You made the offer. Sit back and see what she does with it. In the meantime, stay open to pursuing other women. 1
Versacehottie Posted March 3, 2019 Posted March 3, 2019 I think now that she has come clean about telling you she has no romantic interest in you it's easier for her to remain friends and talking to you because she has been honest and that's all on the table. Before if she stopped talking to you it was a way to AVOID this uncomfortable conversation or having you pursue her so she probably stop/started. I don't think it's a total lost cause but for whatever reason she doesn't see a romantic future with you. So act like a friend, stay in her life at a friend range and date others. Time will tell. I think sometimes in your situation (work, etc) she may not want to mix dating and work or not ready to be in a relationship. In other words, she may need time to talk herself into it. So do not push it. It also of course could mean EXACTLY what she says, that she is not interested in you romantically, period. Good luck
Marc878 Posted March 3, 2019 Posted March 3, 2019 There is nothing there. She told you. It seems you are projecting. I'm interested so she must be too. Nope 1
smackie9 Posted March 3, 2019 Posted March 3, 2019 (edited) You are totally friends zoned. She's just being nice and likes to talk. If you try to ask her out again, she will stop talking to you all together. Edited March 3, 2019 by smackie9 1
Grey40 Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 You should be more direct when you ask her out, not beat around the bush "well I can get you a drink if you'd like...".... .instead just say, "hey, let's get some drinks and get to know each other, are you free Wednesday night? We can to X at 7pm." That's an actual date offer, and by doing that it'll be much more clear how she feels because if she's interested she'll accept the date, or offer another day she's free...or she'll ignore it, come up with an excuse or blow it off. Also, if you see in her person often, don't ask her out online...do it in person. A lot of women lose interest if you ask them out online when they know you interact them in person on a regular basis. It just lacks confidence, which makes them not as interested.
alphamale Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 some girls like to have guy friends. why?? I really don't know
Grey40 Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 some girls like to have guy friends. why?? I really don't know Many reasons. 1) They don't get along with girls; don't like the drama/catty behavior. 2) Like the male attention--knowing that a lot of guys like them and drool over them, even though she has no interest. Make her feel good. 3) They get a lot of free stuff. Dumb dudes with false hopes will keep treating them, covering their bar tabs, buying them stuff in hopes that one day she'll like him and want to date him. Some girls feel bad using guys this way, but usually justify it by saying "guys are shallow *******s, so they deserve it".
alphamale Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 Many reasons. 1) They don't get along with girls; don't like the drama/catty behavior. 2) Like the male attention--knowing that a lot of guys like them and drool over them, even though she has no interest. Make her feel good. 3) They get a lot of free stuff. Dumb dudes with false hopes will keep treating them, covering their bar tabs, buying them stuff in hopes that one day she'll like him and want to date him. Some girls feel bad using guys this way, but usually justify it by saying "guys are shallow *******s, so they deserve it". that makes sense G40
Author Aussie90 Posted March 4, 2019 Author Posted March 4, 2019 Hey everyone, thank you for taking the time to reply! Pretty much getting the same messages so I will take a sit back and if there is anything further to happen it will have to be from her side, thanks again! 1
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