Should I move on and cut my losses short?

[somelamedude]

So I'm going to give a little backstory to this so you can see where I'm coming from. I got out of a 5 year relationship with a very sweet girl, but things weren't going anywhere. I've wanted to change my life around, learn to dance, learn a new language, and go exploring. I was always the lone wolf guy who had one or two friends at best.

 

Anyways, I decided after a few months of being single to test the waters again. I met this girl on a dating app who seemed to be very much into the same things I'm in. We're both into art and both into Rock/Heavy Metal. On her profile sure enough, this chick was an adventurer who knew a lot of spots to explore. She wasn't the cutest, or the thinest, but she did catch my eye. Well I messaged her and we messaged each other back and forth. Eventually it was expressed there was mutual attraction, and I got her SC.

 

What I realized is she doesn't message very frequently, but I was determined to go out with her. We scheduled a date that almost didn't happen, but I was super glad it did. She was taller than what I thought, but I wasn't going to let height be the sole focus on my mind. We talked and she was expressive about herself, something that I actually liked, and she had the cutest laugh. She also happened to be insecure and apologized more than once for being boring. I decided to be daring after we went around driving, and decided to kiss her to show her she wasn't boring. That kiss led into a very passionate make out session.

 

During our date, we asked each other questions and it was revealed she's a recreational drug user. To my knowledge she only does weed and sometimes shrooms, because she shared a funny experience with the latter. I decided to not be judgey and we immediately mentioned interest on both sides to have a 2nd date. She told me though that she didn't want any romance for Valentine's Day (shows you how recent this was), and I misunderstood her as her open to going out that day, but act like we're dating or hanging out. So we kissed a bit more and parted ways with her giving me her number. She did warn me throughout the date that her memory was shotty (possibly from the drugs). We also expressed interest in adding each other on FB to share each others' art pics.

 

I asked her out on Valentine's Day which she said that she thought she was clear that she didn't want to go out on Valentine's Day due to superstitious reasons, but was fine for any other day. She apologized about it and I later on tried to text her. I didn't want to come off clingy, so I kept my messages short and sparse (I've had experience with clingy girls and I assumed it was a turn off on both ends). Nothing. I heard nothing from her. Also I noticed my friend invite going unanswered. I ended up trying one last time shooting her a message about going on a road trip for the second date in a week or two, and sadly gotten no responses. I ended up canceling my friend request because I noticed she wasn't posting anything new on there (seemed inactive). Well a couple days later after looking her up again, I noticed her posting stuff on FB. I decided to NOT resend my friend request and felt she might have not been interested.

 

I tried to move on, and talked to a few more girls online, and noticed for a week she wasn't online. So I felt a little bad. She's really been on my mind for the past several days. I just didn't want to bother her with potentially unwanted texts. Sure enough, she starts going back on that dating app, but doesn't stay on very long (we're not messaging each other on there).

 

The truth is, I'm willing to look past her recreational use. Just being with her in one day has reignited a spark I haven't felt in a very long time to the opposite sex, and very much so want to date her with the intent of this becoming long term and serious. With the SC app, it lets you know if the person reads your messages.. part of me wants to give the shadow of the doubt that she is either not getting my texts or she is, but is forgetting to respond to them (she could have a lot of friends who text her and mine could get lost). What I'm wanting to know is should I express myself to her one last time about wanting to get to know her much more and go out again, letting her know that I really like her and instead of sending a text, send a message on SC so I know without a doubt she gets it? Or should I cut my losses short and try to move on?

 

Anyways, any advise would be greatly appreciated. I haven't been this strung up over someone in literally forever. Again, I do see myself with this girl in a loving relationship in a few months from now if things go my way.

[smackie9]

You already sent her two messages with no response...she's ignoring you.

[lurker74]

I think I'm going to retire my account. Smackie just gets everything right. She's not into you or has something going on in her life where you (or the idea of you) represent too much anxiety. Move on....there will be others.

[FMW]

She wasn't the cutest, or the thinest, but she did catch my eye.

 

She was taller than what I thought, but I wasn't going to let height be the sole focus on my mind.

 

The truth is, I'm willing to look past her recreational use.

 

 

The beginning of a relationship is usually when we have the most positive view of someone. You hardly know her but are already seeing things you need to look past.

 

I wouldn't reach out to her again. As was already stated, the ball is in her court and you should be open to seeing other women.

[somelamedude]

@smackie9 she did admit that she hates clingy guys during our date. But again she did mention that her memory was bad (at one point in the date she forgot what she was going to say). I don't understand why she gave me her number and wanted to exchange numbers just to turn around and lose completely all interest. I was apologetic when I wanted to go out again for Valentine's Day, which she told me not to be, that she had her reasons to not go out that day. But afterwards yeah she kinda disappeared (I only sent a couple of texts because I do know how unattractive clinginess is). But yes, she hasn't reached out at all.

 

@lurker74 She didn't want to go home right away and is why she wanted to drive around a bit.. she even canceled plans with friends just to go out with me. However I did notice her roommate who texted her, was causing her a lot of grief (she mentioned her roommate always asks for money). So who knows, maybe her living situation is sh*t. Another thing I've noticed is she did have a very negative view with the job she has despite liking it somewhat. She wants to go to school but the professions she had interest in, she declared were sexist because it's predominately male.

 

@Finding My Way I think she's really cute, but in her own way. She's not super girly girl, who knows how to be Instagram hot. She is a bit of a tom boy. I'm not gonna lie, if done right, I do think tom boys can be super sexy. Just kissing her though, and watching her ease up in my arms, has me wanting her badly. I don't mean in a one night stand sense.. I mean I'd like this girl to be a girlfriend, potentially long term or more.

 

Thanks for all the feed back you guys. I'm starting to think maybe there's a lot that is going on in her life that I'm not aware about. When I was kinda Facebook stalking her, I noticed on her earlier posts, she had a lot of likes, but as time progressed on her time line, they've gotten sparse and rare. I've also noticed that people, guy and girl alike want to hang out with her, but she always seems unavailable.. she did mention she has ADHD. I'm not sure if that's what is causing her to be like this. Anyways, if nothing came of it, I was always hoping to have an extra friend.