Sammy991 Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 So my GF and me were talking about getting a house. She’s been kinda wishy washy about it because we’re still new into our relationship but have been friends for a year. She’s had bad relationships in the past and wants to move slow. I hadn’t pushed anything and am fine with going slow. Well now she says that she won’t move in because he 2 kids told her they don’t like me and don’t want to live with me. I’m wondering if she’s lying about this or not because I always and good with her kids and they seem to like me when I’m around. One is 6 and the other is 3. I’m wondering if this is just an excuse from her so she doesn’t seem like the bad person. When I told her that maybe her kids will warm up to me over time and we don’t have to move in right now her response was that her kids always make good decisions and maybe they sense I’m a bad person.
gradh Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 I hope this doesn't come across as too harsh, but I don't think your GF is ready to move in with you. It's possible her kids don't like you, not because of anything you've done, but simply because you aren't their father and there's not much you can do about that. It's even possible she wants to end the relationship but doesn't want to hurt you. I think you should have a good talk about how she's feeling right now. Staying with someone who doesn't want to be there is not good for you or her.
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 I think it just may be too soon. You need to be dating for at least a year+ before you move in. I'd wait even longer when kids are involved because you have to stabilize them & their schooling. So be cool with not living together & assuming she was telling the truth about the kids, work to solidify your relationship with them, without acting like you are replacing their father.
Normm Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 So my GF and me were talking about getting a house. 2 weeks ago you posted that you're just friends. "Best Friends" as you put it. We are just friends now as she’s not ready for a relationship yet since she’s finishing school and got out of a 15 year bad relationship. I’m fine being best friends with her. So which is it Sammy? 1
Author Sammy991 Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 Like I said we just started dating. We were best friends and now are dating 2 weeks ago you posted that you're just friends. "Best Friends" as you put it. So which is it Sammy?
Normm Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Ok so you were friends for a year and you just started dating within the past 10 days. Got it. Don't you think that's a bit fast to move in together? 1
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Like I said we just started dating. We were best friends and now are dating Then it is absolutely too soon to talk about moving in together. You need to have been dating for more than a year before you even start that conversation. If you were the one who mentioned moving in, check yourself You are pushing too hard & pushing her away.
Mrs._December Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Like I said we just started dating. We were best friends and now are dating You're obviously desperate to seal the deal with her because it's NOT normal or natural to expect to live together when you've barely started dating. And it sounds as though you're MUCH more invested than she is. Stop pushing this nonsense or she'll push you right out of her life. Jeez. 1
FMW Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 her response was that her kids always make good decisions and maybe they sense I’m a bad person. Two things: 1) It's WAY WAY too soon to even consider moving in together, as others have said; and 2) If someone said that (the quote I reference above) to me I would want absolutely nothing more to do with them. Maybe you need to work on your self esteem and independence. Don't attach to just anyone just to not be alone.
kendahke Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 It's too soon for you two to be moving in together. Why do you think she's using her children as a shield? Why is it hard to believe that her children, especially the 6 yr old, doesn't like you? Perhaps you're not seeing what is falling out in experience at your feet because you're too investing in getting what you want. Ease up off that and take some time to observe what is going on. If her children don't like you, then this relationship has an end date stamped on it.
smackie9 Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 IMO you don't have to live together, she's happy with living alone. Respect her decision. IMO more work is involved having to take care of a man as well as children. 1
Calmandfocused Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Op, putting aside the fact that you have been dating only 10 days, I find it very hard to believe that you have established a firm bond with her children in the year that you have been friends. Personally I think it’s way too soon to even be around her children. They need time and space to get used to you and adjust to you being around in theirs and their mothers life. When children are involved it’s a whole different ball game. It’s unwise for 2 adults to make hasty decisions but highly inappropriate/ irresponsible when there are 2 children involved. Wait and focus on getting to know her children properly.
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