SunnyWeather Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Well rn because I'm miles away on a sport trip and have been for the past few days I can't do anything and I'm worried about her actually self harming I will look if seeing a school therapist is an option all this drama has unfolded over several months' time, according to her. so what you are claiming about being away "for the past few days" still doesn't hold water. If you are worried about her self-harming, I suggest you call in a 5150. peace out
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 This comment only adds to the confusion which makes me question the sum of its validity. If I recall correctly, your post/thread, was pointed out to her, which she acknowledged, but them proceeded to post as though this key piece of information was never revealed. What's even more baffling, is that you two did not have a thorough and complete discussion about these matters, privately. It defies logic. Mainly why I haven't discussed this with her is because she gets really defensive and anxious if I do
preraph Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 I don't think children are on the table we are both still in college It's hard to keep up a relationship with her but I can't help feeling guilty I mean I'm just totally not used to feeling guilty about wanting to break up with someone Children can happen by accident if you're having sex with someone, so you always need to think about that.
kendahke Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Wtf????? You don't even know what her mental health issue is and you're gonna say she needs medicine, professional help, etc????????? I sure am. I don't need to know exactly what her mental health issue is for me to say that going by what OP has said, she needs professional intervention if she reaches for self harming, etc., to get out of having conversations. 1
edgygirl Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 I don’t get everyone always saying straight away LEAVE HER! WTH. Don’t people have hearts? Would you also leave someone with cancer? Mental issues can be worked on. You can be open and share with her that it’s been very difficult for you given you never faced something like this, and inquire whether she intends to face the issue head on and work on it if needed with professional help. I think it’s fair for a partner to say you can only stay if you know she’s working on her problems. Even if it’s ptsd. 1
Hopeful30 Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 This is tricky. My advice to you is this: do what you feel in your heart is the right thing. Try not to get caught up in feelings of guilt or obligation. We must always be true to ourselves. It isn't our responsibility to continue relationships that we aren't prepared for. Forgive yourself if you choose to move on. We are only human, and we must always do what we feel is right, even if it hurts others. The alternative is to stay and support her through this time, but keep in mind that if your heart isn't in it, you will only make things worse for both of you. 1
bathtub-row Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 I don’t get everyone always saying straight away LEAVE HER! WTH. Don’t people have hearts? Would you also leave someone with cancer? Mental issues can be worked on. You can be open and share with her that it’s been very difficult for you given you never faced something like this, and inquire whether she intends to face the issue head on and work on it if needed with professional help. I think it’s fair for a partner to say you can only stay if you know she’s working on her problems. Even if it’s ptsd. My initial thought was that he was dealing with something other than PTSD. Genetic mental disorders are very difficult to deal with and it impacts the other person’s life dramatically. As cold as it seems, a young person shouldn’t be expected to date someone whose genetics will affect them and any children they may have in the future. It’s too much to ask of anyone. The rest of this story has me confused so I wouldn’t comment further on it because it has become muddled. The problem is, if he really wants out because she’s too difficult to deal with, then he needs to make an exit strategy. It’s sad whatever has happened to her but she’s not in a frame of mind to be dating. 1
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 How can you leave a relationship without hurting the person your leaving lk I've broken up with people before but I've always been the one to end it so I don't normally care if I hurt them but if I were to leave how could you hurt them less
kendahke Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 How can you leave a relationship without hurting the person your leaving lk I've broken up with people before but I've always been the one to end it so I don't normally care if I hurt them but if I were to leave how could you hurt them less There is no easy answer here. The road on the other side of whatever path you choose is going to be rough---you need to decide which flavor of rough you can live with.
kendahke Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 We must always be true to ourselves. It isn't our responsibility to continue relationships that we aren't prepared for. Forgive yourself if you choose to move on. We are only human, and we must always do what we feel is right, even if it hurts others. The alternative is to stay and support her through this time, but keep in mind that if your heart isn't in it, you will only make things worse for both of you. ^^^^exactly
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 2, 2019 Author Posted March 2, 2019 It defies logic. Literally our entire situation in three words
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 2, 2019 Author Posted March 2, 2019 But I've been doing research on ptsd and I am finding a lot of different places say it never ends and the symptoms never truly go away
Olivia_daviss Posted March 2, 2019 Posted March 2, 2019 Don't leave her give her some time I'm suffering with ptsd in a incredibly similar situation I'm not in the best place but trying to get better she is probably doing the same give her some time Good luck I know my boyfriend needs it
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