Tacticalegg Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 OK I have been dating a girl for half a year now but she is suffering from mental health problems and I'm wondering if it is worth trying to keep this alive I do love her but should I move on?
preraph Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 A relationship should improve your happiness, kind of at the bare minimum. If you're more happy now that you've been with her, maybe not; but if you've become more unhappy, maybe you should. Also, you must consider if you two are of the age to have children someday and how that would work. 1
Author Tacticalegg Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 I don't think children are on the table we are both still in college It's hard to keep up a relationship with her but I can't help feeling guilty I mean I'm just totally not used to feeling guilty about wanting to break up with someone
bathtub-row Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 You feel guilty because she can’t comtrol what’s wrong with her. At the same time, it’s not in your best interest to be with someone like that. It’s one thing to care about someone when they have problems, it’s another to sacrifice the health and future of your life for that person. Mental health issues are a complete dealbreaker for me. Call me cold, selfish - whatever. I would be completely miserable with someone like that. I call it ‘high incompatibility’. Don’t sacrifice your entire future on this.
Author Tacticalegg Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 I just don't get it i loved her but is it a bad thing that it becomes so hard to love someone like that
bathtub-row Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 The pressure is too great to be with someone like that and love will fade as the pressure increases. She needs to find someone who’s on her level. And so do you. Don’t waste your time worrying about whether you’re a bad person or not. Your instincts are telling you this situation is wrong for you. Listen to them.
kendahke Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 I just don't get it i loved her but is it a bad thing that it becomes so hard to love someone like that No. It's a common thing for people who are not trained in mental health to not want to date with a person with mental health issues. It makes you feel badly because you're looking at it like someone who doesn't have these sorts of challenges--you have no frame of reference for it unless you grew up in a house with someone with your girlfriend's issues. If you're having a bad day, you know it's just a day and tomorrow will be better... and you can't see being left because you had a bad day. But you and her have completely different issues that do not fit this narrative you're selling yourself about staying with her. Her issues aren't going to evaporate after 8 hours of sleep--they're going to need medication, professional intervention and a willingness to stick to treatment--and if she doesn't want to do any of that, then her issues will never be resolved--or it will take a glacial pace in resolving. I would say that the best thing to do is to tell her asap--don't let this linger. It doesn't do either one of you any good.
bathtub-row Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 Having to be on medication for life is a whole other issue with real consequences. While I have a lot of empathy for people in that situation, it’s very difficult for others to handle it on a day-to-day basis.
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 I want to be able to protect her and help her but at the same time it's exhausting
ExpatInItaly Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 What sort of mental health issues does she suffer from, OP?
Wallysbears Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Wait...isn't your girlfriend that one that is on this site and telling us how she is being picked on and bullied because you're a star athlete or someting? Is there more to the story than that?
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 (edited) I mean I'm doing well in sports and I think so a few other ppl have said this is true but she doesn't know So the answer is almost certainly Edited March 1, 2019 by Tacticalegg
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 What’s the cause of her PTSD? Can I ask how is this relevant? Because I probably wouldn't share that info without asking her and I'm not going to ask her but why? 1
bathtub-row Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Can I ask how is this relevant? Because I probably wouldn't share that info without asking her and I'm not going to ask her but why? Yeah, that’s fine. I was just wondering if it was military-related, or something along those lines. If it’s childhood-related, that’s pretty deeply ingrained, but either situation is extremely difficult. It’s very sad.
bathtub-row Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 I mean I'm doing well in sports and I think so a few other ppl have said this is true but she doesn't know So the answer is almost certainly Oh, Lordy. She’s on this site, too?!
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 She has no idea I am tho so I won't be too specific
SunnyWeather Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Tacticalegg said: She has no idea I am tho so I won't be too specific Actually, if I understand what you are saying here (I'm having a difficult time understanding your cryptic posts), in the original thread by "Olivia-davis" aka your girlfriend, she was told you were on this site. And, if I recall correctly, you were told too in your first thread that she was on this site. (do a search to help your memory...) The details of you and your GF's situation seem to be too outrageous to believe at times, to be honest. In the case that it is real, I recommend to you what I recommended to her: get help. you both need counseling to navigate this complex (if it's true) situation. Further, if she does, indeed, have PTSD, it needs to be treated. The story she conveyed here about being bullied-again, if true- which led to her being kidnapped, would have serious repercussions. Your role in this story still is a mystery. I hope this helps
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 OK so apparently she knows but when I asked her she knew I posted but didn't know my account name
Wallysbears Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 So why don't the two of you talk and perhaps see a school therapist and figure this all out?
SunnyWeather Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 OK so apparently she knows but when I asked her she knew I posted but didn't know my account name This comment only adds to the confusion which makes me question the sum of its validity. If I recall correctly, your post/thread, was pointed out to her, which she acknowledged, but them proceeded to post as though this key piece of information was never revealed. What's even more baffling, is that you two did not have a thorough and complete discussion about these matters, privately. It defies logic. 1
Author Tacticalegg Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 Well rn because I'm miles away on a sport trip and have been for the past few days I can't do anything and I'm worried about her actually self harming I will look if seeing a school therapist is an option
Recommended Posts