d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 Well if I dont want relationship with someone i leave them alone as I don't look generally for just sex. Not everybody conforms to your norms / ethics. You can't assume everybody behaves like you.
BaileyB Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 Maybe the fact that he told me he ended relationship with girls that weren't giving blows is a red flag Lol. You know what his priorities are... he has done you a favour and revealed himself early. If this doesn’t work for you, just end it.
Author Chrys31 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 well...it looks like it ended anyway as i didnt give it up early enough. Who knows also what else is going on. so i just leave it
Author Chrys31 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 Well i wouldnt end a relationship because someone doesnt do a particular thing in bed. Its very shallow for me. Its a good thing to respect people 1
edgygirl Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 (edited) The mistake most women make is assume people think like them. Especially men. And compare what you would do to what they would do. Spend some time here reading threads and you’ll see soon enough that the way a woman thinks is not the way most men think, although there are commonalities as human beings. I used to be like you - thinking most people would do the moral thing like I would. That’s extremely naive. Most people act on their motivations to get what they want. I don’t want to sound bitter but never assume strangers have your best interest at heart, until they prove it with actions. Saying things doesn’t mean anything. Well i wouldnt end a relationship because someone doesnt do a particular thing in bed. Its very shallow for me. Its a good thing to respect people Edited February 28, 2019 by edgygirl
Author Chrys31 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 Anyway, his loss. I am true to what i want and i have to be careful as i have no reference for these people from dating sites. So i dont think im doing anything wrong
edgygirl Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 You’re not doing anything wrong. But you do need to stop assuming people are as moral and corrrect as you are and will do the right thing. Most are not and won’t. Most people look after tbeir own interests. A lot of men go for sex when they realize the woman is not what they want for a relationship. Just be careful and learn to see the cues. 4
Author Chrys31 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 thats fine, yes thats exactly what i am doing, im looking at the cues.
Author Chrys31 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 the thing is he was sexually suggestive since the first date
edgygirl Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 Well there’s your cue that he’s not really looking for a relationship. At least not with you. At least in the US sexually loaded talk is only ok after 3-4 dates. the thing is he was sexually suggestive since the first date 1
Author Chrys31 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 I think globally its the same. What do u mean not with me? He doesnt even know me
edgygirl Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 Please don’t be offended. Most men know fairly quickly what type of woman they see themselves with for a relationship. It of course differs from man to man. Some are jerks and although they realize you’re not relationship material for them, they’ll still try for sex as they’re wired this way. It happens to all of us. We can’t possibly know from here if that’s the case with this man, but just be aware it could be. I think globally its the same. What do u mean not with me? He doesnt even know me 2
Author Chrys31 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 ok i dont know. i will just move on to find someone else . Hopefully i will find something 1
Versacehottie Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 You know you need to rely less on what people say and tell you in response to "are you looking for a serious relationship" and much more on what people SHOW you over time. Do you think some guy who is looking for a long term relationship is suddenly going to start giving you one word answers? Not really. He was either really busy in the moment and by now should have fixed it with a longer text, phone call or a date. OR he has less interest or is putting in less effort because he is not getting what he really wants out of seeing or talking to you. OR seeing and talking to you INTERFERES with what else he has going on, usually another person in this case. See: "sister". 1
Author Chrys31 Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 I haven't heard from him at all. I did a little bit of research yesterday and I saw he has a company in London since 2007 which is now dissolved. To me he said that he lives in London 6 years. The Ltd secretary is this woman that called him. He had told me he works as a contractor in London but the company is dissolved. I searched also on Facebook extensive search Inc tagged photos posts and stuff and could not find anything
chillii Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 (edited) l know it's disheartening and a bit sad when these things go south. But you should be proud of yourself because your boundary worked and any decent guy truly interested won't have any worries at all in getting to know each other first. l know l'd respect that and it's so refreshing to see someone here that actually holds off with a bit of class and self respect. lf you did it differently he'd still be disappearing anyway only after using you up first , yaknow. There's must be hundreds of threads here from women that do and then they wonder where his gone. Anyway , good luck in the future. Edited March 1, 2019 by chillii
Author Chrys31 Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 ok.... i had sent him today a msg on the dating . site as i deleted his number that i would appreciate if he told me he is not interested anymore in me instead of disappearing and he told me that he is really tired and difficult to sleep in the new place. I said ok whatever. I think he is ridiculous
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 He's not going to respond. His disappearing act -- commonly known as ghosting -- is him saying loud & clear that he is not interested. 1
stillafool Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 Please don't chase this man. He is showing you loud and clear he is not interested in you. He doesn't want to talk to you or give you answers. He's trying to give you a message without being direct. Men have a hard time rejecting women so they ignore or ghost her hoping she'll get the message. It sucks but it is what it is.
Author Chrys31 Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 thats bs and ridiculous in my opinion. Anyway i think i dodged a bullet anyway
Author Chrys31 Posted March 1, 2019 Author Posted March 1, 2019 He now has the nerve to call me baby. Ok well i think im gonna block him. He is not well in his head
lurker74 Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 OP, I sadly think that you will have to harden yourself for the dating world a bit. It is incredibly easy to lose interest in someone (both genders) and it is also common for men mostly (and some women) to string things along for physical reasons. Pay attention to actions and not words and you'll be better off because, honestly, your story is relatively tame compared to many here. Good luck! 1
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