jonybgood Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 So I finally moved from the sepration anxiety board to the coping board. Thank you all. Finally realized at this time there is no Us. There is a ME though. For those of you not familiar with my situation check out my previous threads if you want to. Here is the question. OK I still deep down do have a burning desire that we will be together some day, but that day is not now. After a lot of thinking I have decided to date on at least a basic level now. A basic level for me means to go out with other woman, have a good time - at this time not get physical. If there are sparks and I want to develop more of a relationship then I am opening myself up to that. Do I let her know that I am doing this or will that come across as some desperate attempt to make her jealous instead of what it really is. A decision to move on. Why would I tell her you might ask. I don't know, maybe to let her know that I am moving on and I don't care what she thinks. That she is no longer in control. Or maybe I still feel as though it would be cheating on her. I definitly have kind of a guilt thing going on over this even though she is the one who decided to disolve this marriage. Or would just doing it send the same message? Maybe I am answering my own question here. Any opinions? Just a side note. My wife has had a long history of saying one thing and meaning or feeling quite the opposite. So I have done things in the past that I thought she was OK with and then find out she was really upset. I don't want to start dating just to find out that she is having second thoughts about working on our marriage. She has never been a great communicator. One of our major problems is that she always thought I should be able to read her mind. I am not doing anything until I get some opinions on this one.
crazy_grl Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Why would I tell her you might ask. I don't know, maybe to let her know that I am moving on and I don't care what she thinks. That she is no longer in control. . By telling her, you're giving her a message that says exactly the opposite. You can send her that message much better by moving on and not concerning yourself with her. Or maybe I still feel as though it would be cheating on her. I definitly have kind of a guilt thing going on over this even though she is the one who decided to disolve this marriage. Well, not being familiar with your relationship and your situation with your wife, I'm not sure whether you should feel any kind of obligation to tell her at this point. If you're currently divorced, then absolutely not. If you're just separated, then I would have to know more about the situation to advise you.
sundrop Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Why tell your ex? I say it's none of their business.
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