How did we go from great to terribly ??

[Inorder245]

I’m a sophomore in highschool,and recently I have been “talking” to a guy I talked to for about 4 months last school year. Back in October of this school year he texted a friend of mines(he didn’t knw it was my friend) and said that he didn’t like me in a dating or relationship type way, from that day on we hadn’t talked but then in December he texted me out of nowhere and asked if I was talking to someone and wanted to start talking more in school. From then on we got close and he started texting me basically everyday,and walking me to class,hugging me, FaceTiming me for almost 6 hours a day on the weekends,and he also asked if I would be his valentine and I said yes. My friend texted him one day and they got to talking abt me and the guy i was taking to said he liked me. Buh the day before Valentine’s Day he texted me and said “ do you even want to be my valentine anymore” we talked abt what that meant in person and basically he was jus upset that we hadn’t talked for only one day. But we were still each other’s valentines on Valentine’s Day. Buh the next week he just stopped tlking to me and he hasn’t texted me. idk if I’m overreacting or something really is going on. Can someone please help me understand what happened???

[d0nnivain]

Nobody has a clue as to what goes on in the mind of most teenagers, not even the teens themselves. He probably likes you but is scared you don't like him back or that his friends will tease him for liking you or some new hobby may be taking up more of his time. You need to be more gracious & warm to him. Shot him a text once in a while . . you initiate. Maybe bake him some cookies, just because.

[Versacehottie]

My top guesses:

 

*He told your friend that he didn't know was your friend that he didn't like you like that because he was flirting with her (if the friend was a girl) OR because he was trying to playing it cool like he wasn't hooked on one specific girl, i.e. you, but was free to play the field (if the friend was a guy).

 

*December, well duh he's misses you because you are awesome, lol and he does enjoy talking to you and the attention you give him. And regrets cutting it off AND/OR chances he had with other girls that caused him to stop talking to you didn't pan out. Or he thought being single and able to date around was going to be great and he flip-flops between that and thinking it's not so great or talking to you was better.

 

*He's generally insecure. See "flip-flopping" behavior above. Also the fact that he wasn't proud, confident and secure when your mutual friend asked what was going on with you two. See also how he needed reassurance that you weren't talking to anyone else in Dec and if you "still" wanted to be his Valentine. Also asking any friends information about where you stand with each other. Which, btw, while it isn't uncommon in high school, i think if you want to keep things clear and as close to what you want the "message" to be, don't use other friends to convey your feelings, status, etc. Keep that sh*t to yourselves and just talk to each other. Much less drama. Much less other people messing up what you've got going on. At least if it gets messed up it will be just because one of the two of you did it.

 

*I don't know exactly why he's stopped talking to you again now. Guessing he's flip-flopping again or regretting not being "single" for a variety of possible reasons. You could either call him out on it straight away (not super confrontational but definitely don't kiss a**). OR you could let him make the next move, next step to start talking to you again (he will at some point for sure). Sometimes it's good to let the guy do the work of having to put in effort--especially if he is acting disrespectful, ignoring you, changing his mind about you. Also if you do start talking to him again and i mean communicating not "talking", you should call him out at that point and slowly let him back in AS and IF he proves he is not wishy washy.

 

*Overall, i think high school is short enough (4 months is long in high school time! and it's almost March so at a point soon enough you will have almost given your entire sophomore year to thinking about this guy!). And high school is lots of fun. I don't know if I would recommend getting hung-up or wasting much time at all or anymore on a guy who is wasting your time. Have fun! Be strong! Talk to other guys! If this guy is not "giving" you what you want or making you sad or hurting your self-esteem, it's not worth it. There are plenty of other guys Good luck

Edited February 27, 2019 by Versacehottie

[crispytoast]

Most teen guys are not very confident even though they really can act like it sometimes. See: act. This confusion you're feeling, I'm sure he's feeling something similar except the opposite side of it. He is probably asking someone about it right now. Or playing Fortnite and eating Doritos. One of the two for sure.

 

 

 

Nobody has a clue as to what goes on in the mind of most teenagers, not even the teens themselves. He probably likes you but is scared you don't like him back or that his friends will tease him for liking you or some new hobby may be taking up more of his time. You need to be more gracious & warm to him. Shot him a text once in a while . . you initiate. Maybe bake him some cookies, just because.

I came here for the cookies

[smackie9]

Ya I age teenage boys have zero confidence...so girl you have to initiate contact with him, flirt with him and give him a little gift or two (food like cookies! yes!), throw in a compliment like how cute he is, etc.

[Inorder245]

But I can’t tell if he even wants me to talk to him, which is the only reason I haven’t talked to him since then.

[d0nnivain]

Just talk to him. If he doesn't want you to talk to him he will make that clear.

[smackie9]

If you contact him again, don't confront him about it. Just be happy go lucky, make a joke, be flirty and see if he takes the bait.

[preraph]

If I had to guess, I would say that that third person is interfering and trying to block you from this guy and this guy from you. So you better start having a think about this third party who's in the middle of this and warn the Valentine that that person may not be trustworthy because you don't know what's going on sometimes and that person seems to always be involved when things to crosswise. That person is misinforming one or both of you about the other. Not a friend. Maybe likes you more than a friend or likes him more than a friend or just generally a busybody.

[Inorder245]

I don’t think my friend has said anythig bad about me. I did tell him to stop talking to the guy I was talking to abt me if they do end up texting again, since they are kinda acquaintances. But last time my friend talked to him he wasn’t even the one that brought me into the conversation, the guy I was talking to started talking abt me, and said that i was kinda like his “boo” or something, but I think he only talked abt me because he knows now that he’s my friend now. And any messages between them,my friend shows me.

[crispytoast]

If I had to guess, I would say that that third person is interfering and trying to block you from this guy and this guy from you. So you better start having a think about this third party who's in the middle of this and warn the Valentine that that person may not be trustworthy because you don't know what's going on sometimes and that person seems to always be involved when things to crosswise. That person is misinforming one or both of you about the other. Not a friend. Maybe likes you more than a friend or likes him more than a friend or just generally a busybody.

I'm gonna have to disagree with you here preraph.

@inorder -- what smackie said is on point. Don't mention it or try to start any conversation about third person. That has potential to start drama and drama is one of the easiest ways to kill the mood. Just talk to him & be nice to him, a little flirty or whatever.

[Inorder245]

Ok I’ll see what happens. Thank you