What's the right thing to do?

[wonderment728]

I'm morally torn...

Boyfriend wants to take me away this weekend and he is paying for most of it, but he doesn't have much money to begin with but he is insistent we go.

I am 50/50 for this trip because I'm practical and know he really shouldn't spend the $. It's my business because we want to build a future together, even though we are "older".

 

I also don't want to tell my adult son...he doesn't like the guy at all! But I don't know how I'll lie who I'm with for 5 days even though he lives out of state. I'll have to lie on top of lie to do this and I'm not great at that since I have a very guilty conscience.

 

I don't even know if I want a future with this guy even though I care for him a great deal and vice versa b/c not sure I can handle the ongoing restrictions on money.

 

Help!

[emeraldgreen]

Sounds like you already know it's a NO and want us to confirm it.

 

Don't waste the guy's money if you're on the fence about the whole thing, not just the trip.

 

we want to build a future together

 

I don't even know if I want a future with this guy

[d0nnivain]

I think if you go on the trip with an open mind it might push you off the fence. You will either realize this is not working or it will enable you to move forward.

 

Don't lie to your son. Just tell him you are going away & although you respect his feelings regarding your SO, you don't share them & you would prefer he keep his disdain to himself.

[kendahke]

Never lie about anything--it's just not necessary.

 

Tell your son the truth and let him run his ship aground behind a tantrum. As long as you're taking care of your finances and not getting into a mess behind this guy, your son can go kick rocks.

 

You need to remember your son is not your husband, father or warden. If the best he can do is tantrum by using emotional blackmail to control you, then he's got issues he needs to be talking with a therapist about.