emmy1211 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 (edited) Have you ever met someone that you had a connection with? As cheesy as it may sound you think that this person is already THE one? THE we are soulmates type of attraction? Yep, I met him and the attraction was mutual (Thank you Lord). There was some harmless flirting. An understanding; I like you and you like me back. He invited me to do group things with his friends but something always came up and I cannot go. Some more flirting and butterflies in the stomach. This went on for 6 blissful months. THEN 2019 came. He became distant. The communication lessened. He was avoiding me. Ouch! Message received. I was hurt and confused. I told a friend of ours that I unfollowed The Guy in social media. That perhaps I misinterpreted everything, assumed wrong...better to rip off the bandage and just move on yada yada. Then this friend told me the most incredulous thing: that YEAH you're right. this guy is just very friendly. Some of their female friends also assumed that The Guy likes them, etc etc That THIS guy is inlove with someone else right now and is just trying to find the right time to tell this girl. IN MY HEAD, I was like, whaaaat?? Umm.. am I not this girl? i don't believe that there is ANOTHER girl involved unless he is keeping her in a box somewhere. People talk and I would know. And wait, what is happening?? did I get a wrong vibe from him? from his friends? from YOU, his closest friend, that this guy likes me? Why the sudden 360? Look. a girl WOULD know if a guy likes her. It's instinctive. The look. the touches. Everything. Even his friends notice it. Even YOU noticed it. AND though he has lots of female friends, he is friendly, YES, but not flirty. He respects them. HE has boundaries (except with me, hihi!). Though his lack of communication sucks but his body language NEVER lies. Ok enough. My brain was in overdrive and I was just BLEEEEGH-i-dont-have-anything-else-to-say-and-there-was-nothing-else-to-do but to nod, bid goodbye to this "friend" with my tail between my legs and went my way. The next day, THE GUY unfollowed me. (no doubt our "friend" told him about our conversation) Can anyone please tell me, what went wrong?:( I know there are some holes in the story but I just need your two cents. Edited February 26, 2019 by emmy1211
Mr. Lucky Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 If I'm reading your post correctly, you haven't had even a single date with your "soulmate" despite being in his orbit for months. You seem to have assumed something that didn't exist, at least on his end. Most of us have experienced being more vested than our partner, a painful place to be. But you jumped ahead of even this since there wasn't even a real relationship in place, despite what body language and intuition was telling you. In short you got carried away, not the worst thing to have happen. The takeaway is the need to develop the discipline to keep your feelings in check until events line up appropriately. And the good news is, there's a lot more than one "the one" out there... Mr. Lucky
thatgirl10000 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 As someone who has been ghosted in the past, I believe it’s only technically ghosting if the guy vanishes on you without a goodbye WHILE you’re dating. From your account, it doesn’t look like you 2 were actually dating. You said you flirted, and he had asked you out on group dates, but did he ever ask you to go somewhere or do something with just him? I think this is a case where you probably misread his signals. I mean, if a friend is telling you that the guy likes another girl, then you should believe that friend and move on.
Author emmy1211 Posted February 26, 2019 Author Posted February 26, 2019 Yeah he did. One time he found out that we were just two blocks away from each other and he wanted to meet up in a coffeeshop in between our locations but I was with my friends then and I didn't want to be rude sooo I declined.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 That instant soul mate feeling isn't a true connection, that is infatuation, I got burned a couple times mistaking infatuation w/love. Be extremely cautious of dating that starts fast and passionate. You get addicted to that "high" of "love" (infatuation). The thing is for the other person though, they get bored and abruptly treat you coldly. Yes he did ghost you, but he may come back, do not take him back. Be careful giving your heart so freely.
MaleIntuition Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 No, that’s not ghosting. You unfollowed him - he unfollowed you. Ghosting is when someone whom you are dating stops responding to you.
Blue_Cloud Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 It could be he wasn’t thinking about you, and the friend brought you up in convo, then he recalled you, and then unfollowed you. Nothing was happening on his end so he left. He could be seeing somebody else, and keeping it quiet from everybody. I think he took your reactions as no interest and just left
stillafool Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 If he were truly interested you wouldn't have to guess or wonder because he would ask you out or to see you. Looks and flirting mean nothing without action. He probably does have another girl somewhere if he's only friendly with the girls around there.
hippychick3 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 It’s been 6 months and you have only met once AND he lives close by? This is just lot of nothingness. Sorry, OP. You’re living in la la land if you think this guy was in love with you or even in lust with you. This guy didn’t ghost you. You’d have to be dating (like going on real actual dates) for that to happen. He was just never that interested.
Whodatdog Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 You had a real fantasy going on in your head. It wasnt real life. 1
smackie9 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 You have a lot of anxiety? IMO no one it THAT busy to have a date with someone who thinks it's your soulmate. You kept cancelling, so he figured you were making him your penpal and got tired of it. Guys want a girl that is available,receptive, reciprocates, and has sex with him. You didn't give him any of those things so why stick around.
Recommended Posts