leeali Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 hi all, I have been seeing a guy met online dating once mid dec 2018. he has been treating me well and respectful. I like to go out with him as a company. we never kiss but only holding hands and hugs because I am not ready to kiss him. It is almost 3 months. I still don't have the desire of kissing him or moving into serious exclusive relationship. He has been pushing forward for commit long term relationship. he is the type of guys would plan things way ahead. he has been asking me about where to go for long vacation in summer. he is the type of guy wants to get married and have kids. I have been telling him to slow down as we are still in the young stage of getting to know each other. I feel suffocated. On Saturday night, I expressed I am unsure about the chemistry between us. He said he understood and would give space. However, on Monday morning he brought up an idea of inviting a couple to join some of our activities so that we can learn about their good relationship dynamic. I said to him it is ok to invite the couple to join us the activities but we are not at the stage of preparing to be a couple. we are still in the stage of learning about each other. He was upset and told me to watch I would say to him as he has feeling too. he advised me to let him know earlier if I am not interested in him so that we will not waste each other time. [i did not remember the words to words he said. it was the idea I obtained from him over the phone this morning while I was driving to work] second issue, I think I have not completed get over the guy who I love and hurt me so much 5 years ago. Time to time I would look up his profiles/fb to see how he has been doing. I also thought about him on the Valentine's Day while I was going out my date. I feel so bad about that. I also thought about life would be perfect if that guy would treat me well as my date. sigh.. please help me. should I get therapy or counselling thanks
preraph Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 You're not attracted to him or you'd want to kiss him. It's not there. He's not the one. Sorry. 1
mightybop Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 That man has legendary patience. Or he is seeing other girls too. Like preraph said, you must not like him, otherwise you would have kissed him by now. Better let him know.
Author leeali Posted February 26, 2019 Author Posted February 26, 2019 You're not attracted to him or you'd want to kiss him. It's not there. He's not the one. Sorry. you guys are right. I am not into him. how would you advise me to get over the guy who I really love and he hurt me badly?
TheFinalWord Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 A guy from 5 years ago? Yes, I do think you should get counseling as that is way too long to be hung up on someone. Your life is passing you by and a guy that could care less is living rent free in your mind. I'm not saying this current guy is the answer, but you're going to shut out a lot of great dating options being hung up on someone from your past. A natural grieving process is totally normal. But 5 years is way too much time. 1
maxi105 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 leeali....there is no chemistry!!!!!! how to get over the guy you lost 5 years ago? stop looking at f/b or wanting to know what is going on in his life. if he wanted to get back with you it would have happened, or he would have got in touch because he wouldn't be able to bear not being with you or would want to talk at least to you. i think the best thing you can do is go out and have fun with friends, fins new interests and just get on with things the best way you can and it will make you more interesting and varied in your outlook and have new things to explore. you might even meet someone more suitable and just as hot and nice or whatever you would like from a guy and you will find love or a more promising relationship when you are not looking for it to work as much as you'd like one. its hard when you lose someone, just remember that 5 years ago someone REALLY HURT YOU!!!!! think of all the tears, the begging that im sure went on, the low feelings and sadness and the fact that he went. he cant have been happy and he probably felt about you in some way that you feel towards this new guy (without the blame, self blame or hurt or painful words), he knew 9as do you now that there is not enough chemistry). its a big deal is chemistry!!!!! and you cant make people feel it if it aint thar. good wishes, look to meeting someone new. refresh yourself and sparkle for a new guy!!!! don't wait for someone who wont and cannot really love you (for whatever reason). it wont happen that way unless they come to you and realise for themselves that they took you for granted and want to be with you. but 5 years has gone and all you are doing is hurting yourself with what might have been.....and it really wasn't!!!! so start again and give your heart to someone who knows how to take care of it and give you his heart in exchange!!!! (sorry for the type...computer is up....but so am i now, times up, but good luck. maxi
smackie9 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 Sorry but if you are not wanting to rip his clothes off by week 3 then you have just wasted everyone's time.
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