BeeT Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) I have a huge crush on a friend of a friend, I only met him 2 weeks ago, and we've only spoken a couple of times, but he is just so charismatic and I feel there are sparks between us. I'm pretty infatuated. So today I walked past him, went to say hi, and we had a conversation. He was making conversation with me and being really nice, asking me about myself and we were having a good chat. I excused myself because I had to go, and he said 'i'll see you around then', and then I said, 'or I don't know what your situation is, but it'd be nice if we could grab a drink sometime.' And he seemed a little surprised but said yes and asked if he could add me on facebook, so i did. Then I said bye and went on my way. So we're now facebook friends but he hasn't followed me up messaging or anything. I think I've made it pretty clear that I like him a lot (I'm ashamed to say I practically jumped to add myself on his fb lol), and he seems like a really nice guy and someone I'd like to get to know better. He hasn't messaged me or anything since I accepted his friend request. What should I do? I really want to get to know him better, but don't want to come across as a crazy girl who's super infatuated (even though i definitely feel that way right now). Edit: Basically just looking for advice. Fluctuating from thinking he does feel potential for something to he's not interested and just being kind. He hasn't really been online on fb this evening though, so could easily be busy or something. I just don't know. Edited February 25, 2019 by BeeT
Nilfiry Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 Breathe, calm yourself, and slow down. That is how you keep yourself from coming across as crazy. As sad as it sounds, people tend to react negatively toward people coming onto them too strongly. It will also help keep you alert to any red flags that you may likely miss in your excitement. You have to make it "seem" more natural. I suggest going through your friend. Not necessarily by having your friend hook you up, but by hanging out with your friend in hopes that your friend's friend comes along too. Of course, if you just happen to run into that person yourself, then that works too. Alternatively, you could just ask him out directly next time you see him. It is not without its risks, but it is the most direct route without any games. 1
Noproblem Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 The ball in his court now. If he likes you enough, he'll start talking or at least start liking your posts and stuff. if he does not, then don't bother with him any further! 1
preraph Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 Go ahead and send him a casual message, not about a date. Like, did you watch the Oscars? I'm so glad ____ won. See if he's talking. He is probably just waiting for you to make the next move since you made the first one. But he did put you on Facebook, so it wasn't too unwelcome. But do you know if he might already have a girlfriend? Be careful. If you ask him for coffee or something, say something like, "Would I be getting in the middle of you and a girlfriend if I asked you for coffee?"
Lotsgoingon Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) I like Preraph's suggestion ... contact just to say hello ... don't bring up dating ... See what happens ... Now I hate to get tacky and I'm not a woman and I don't like advising women to play hard to get or disinterested .. but .. he was asking you about you ... and you REALLY had to go ... Perfect time to just go! Again, not saying you should have done this ... but there is nothing like interrupting a good conversation and good chemistry because you really have to go ... I'm also all in favor of women being direct and as much the pursuer as they want to be ... but as a guy I've had to learn that when I feel overwhelming attraction ... to step back just a bit. The conversation and energy was flowing between you two. There was no rush. You didn't have to say anything more than "great to see you" and hit him with a big smile ... and then walk your confident self off into the sunset ... Bringing up his situation so early ... and asking him out for a drink ... Again, forget the sexist lens for a moment ... there's a real art to building tension and attraction and really allowing the other person to feel it ... and doing so allows you to calm yourself a bit and not necessarily get caught up in your intoxication. Not criticism ... but your response did feel a little rushed ... but maybe that's you. Edited February 26, 2019 by Lotsgoingon
smackie9 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 Guys don't fritter around when they are really interested. To make yourself more interesting, back off and just be around enough to be in his space but don't interact so much. 1
lurker74 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 Guys don't fritter around when they are really interested. To make yourself more interesting, back off and just be around enough to be in his space but don't interact so much. Nervous guys do. OP, just reach out again. If he's the nervous type, he might need the push over the edge of the hill.
smackie9 Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 Nervous guys do. OP, just reach out again. If he's the nervous type, he might need the push over the edge of the hill. He's hot and popular...I don't think he's that type.
olivetree Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 I think it would have been a better sign if he'd asked for your phone number instead of FB. Lean back and let him come to you.
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