No Contact is 100% true.

[Lexbaby]

Few weeks ago me and the baby mama were ok as usual. Been 4 years together almost. Anyways 3 weeks ago I got a funny feeling, asked her if she’s happy. She told me she wants to break up, lied about someone else. On top of that we’re in long distance and I thought she would be happy I could move and we’d be together again. Turns out she met a guy at her new work place a month ago, already moved in with him and our kid. That night I drank a bottle of whiskey in half an hour. Shook all night trying to go to sleep. Started googling etc.

 

I fought for NC, but due to the legal papers for the kid I asked her to talk on a court monitored app cause I just want to be for the kid. I thought she’d come back, etc, all these YouTube videos from gurus.

 

It’s been 4-5 days now that I didn’t even reach out to see the kid. I’ll let her know the paper work is ready once it’s ready with the lawyer.

 

For me this occurred quickly because I have too much pride to even want her back. What started at my NC was a way for her to come back, but I was losing that power. However as NC continued I realized somethings;

 

She has more debt than one can imagine.

She literally has nothing, but a paycheck to paycheck.

She certainly isn’t hot, she’s actually ugly, but I over looked this because prior to her I only dated hot girls, and wanted a change.

She can’t cook for ****.

Her sex was very weak, blowjob were horrible.

She doesn’t know how to have fun; go out and be live.

I can’t stand her family one bit.

 

I held on an emotional bond; mostly cause she the mother of my child.

My pride couldn’t allow this break up to happen.

 

Now that’s I’m here at 3 weeks, and I realize this, she did me a favor.

I’m intelligent, funny, good looking, have a great career.

I can’t be with a woman in so much debt and bad credit. This shows her irresponsibility.

The woman that disrespected me as far as being the father and moving in with a guy she just met.

 

Is that a woman to hold on to and wonder or hope she should come back?

Logic answer is no. Logically my emotions is for a person that isn’t her.

 

Will she reach out to come back once her honey moon stage or whatever finishes? Answer is; it won’t matter to me. I’ll update if she does contact for those curious.

 

But I am a believer now in NC. NC will allow you to let go, to look at things from a different perspective. Mind you, I still haven’t even started working out, doing other things. All I did was go with my feelings rather it was missing her, being angry, etc but as thoughts came and went the truth stayed, and the truth is I am better than her, and I can only control myself.

 

Now my next goal is to start working out, doing things I admire, and hopefully our legal agreement is done so I can be part of my kids life, but I am ready for her to say no, and to walk away all together.

 

Guys stick to NC, after a few days you’ll stop counting days.

 

—- now this NC, it made me reflect on my passed relationships. Girl needed space, I begged, pleaded, called, made promises, then took my sorry ass away and they came back with tears, and the cycle continued and continued. So it does work. But when NC occurs, and if that person comes back, be ready to say you can just be friends or you’ll be back worst than before trying NC again. NC is NC—- stick to NC forever.

 

I hope this perspective helps from a “dumpee”, cause I feel the relief now that the dumper felt, except I don’t feel guilt.

[HazeMan]

Oh I so love this. I am 4 months NC now. It does get easier. Like your ex mine has lots of debt and is looking to acquire more. She is attractive for sure (her body at least) and it looks even better now that she is working out but a good body can't overshadow emotional instability, immaturity, anxiety, depression, attention seeking and suicidal tendencies. A lot of her vices are somewhat blunted because she still lives at home with her parents. During our relationship, once she successfully isolated me, we both started to forget how attractive i am. Lol. I mean the reason she isolated me was because I was typically surrounded by girls that wanted me. I lost sight of my value and honestly started to believe that she was better than me and was doing me a favor by being with me (she made it a point to say this under the pretext of joking). This is a girl that people generally cannot stand and she can only hang out with people when alcohol is flowing. I have had girls come crawling back in the past. Even girls that i didn't date, they just rejected me. My ex is infact one of these girls, I only dated her because of timing. It coincided with my nervous breakdown and I still had lingering feelings for her plus she said she had changed.

 

The general consensus is that she may have cheated and will be back st some point. Honestly, if that does happen, i do not want it until at least 8 months to a year after the breakup. You can find more details on my threads.

 

NC Forever my dude. NC Forever. Be carfeful though, she will use your kid against you especially if you reject her and refuse to be with her.

Edited February 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[Cersei]

To the OP:

 

Great job on the NC. It has done exactly for you what needs to happen-allow you to step back and take a good look at what's gone down without the distraction of the ex.

 

Your list really did make me laugh. You are funny as hell and when some time has passed and you are ready to jump back into the dating pool women will need to take a number to be with you.

[Lexbaby]

Thanks! In previous break ups I never stopped to think.

 

However, I spent reading many posts on LS, and other forums last few weeks.

We believe when the “dumper” gives us bread crumbs etc it’s for their selfish reason. In reality when they break up and we chase them it’s really for our selfish reasons.

 

This journey brought me a new perspective on relationship. I never had a issue getting women. My issue was certain types only got me to attach because they were doing NC on me from the start, which we went into loops, and aren’t together anymore.

 

NC taught me that in the future if a woman needs space, breaks up, etc (unless I was truly at fault), it’s best to say “you’re right” and leave that “well I’m here for you if you change your mind” BS for hopers. Just say “you’re right”. And move on.

 

And yes I’m funny, funny will be that I’ll tell every guy she has “yo wife is my baby baby mama” from that song “get your roll on” by big tymers

Edited February 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[Lexbaby]

Oh I so love this. I am 4 months NC now. It does get easier. Like your ex mine has lots of debt and is looking to acquire more. She is attractive for sure (her body at least) and it looks even better now that she is working out but a good body can't overshadow emotional instability, immaturity, anxiety, depression, attention seeking and suicidal tendencies. A lot of her vices are somewhat blunted because she still lives at home with her parents. During our relationship, once she successfully isolated me, we both started to forget how attractive i am. Lol. I mean the reason she isolated me was because I was typically surrounded by girls that wanted me. I lost sight of my value and honestly started to believe that she was better than me and was doing me a favor by being with me (she made it a point to say this under the pretext of joking). This is a girl that people generally cannot stand and she can only hang out with people when alcohol is flowing. I have had girls come crawling back in the past. Even girls that i didn't date, they just rejected me. My ex is infact one of these girls, I only dated her because of timing. It coincided with my nervous breakdown and I still had lingering feelings for her plus she said she had changed.

 

The general consensus is that she may have cheated and will be back st some point. Honestly, if that does happen, i do not want it until at least 8 months to a year after the breakup. You can find more details on my threads.

 

NC Forever my dude. NC Forever. Be carfeful though, she will use your kid against you especially if you reject her and refuse to be with her.

 

 

The most I will probably do is be her friend due to the kid. But sides flipped in my eyes since I cannot see why would I give her a chance again. I can be that buddy she calls when she has a question.

 

As far as cheating goes; I don’t condone that. A woman that allows another man, typically one that she barely knows to risk losing everything she already has with a person, means it means nothing.

 

Would you risk losing your hand on betting how much sugar is in my coffee without knowing any real details? I assume not, but you’d risk losing flint out of your pocket.