d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 I'm not sure a hook up will boost your self esteem. Yes it's nice to feel desired so there is some promise that a quick roll in the hay will help you get back on the horse but you would probably be better served addressing the self esteem issues in a more constructive internal way that can have long lasting effects. NSA is a temporary ego boost that will probably have you feeling more empty after.
Andy_K Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 Depends what you're looking for. Situation is fairly clear here... he isn't particularly interested in a relationship, has hooked up with you before, and also now knows you have hooked up with guys so frequently that you didn't even remember him. He's not prepared to chase you, but if you show enough interest to get in touch now you have his number, then he'll hook up with you again.
stillafool Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 If you aren't looking for a relationship stop worrying about the fact that he isn't looking for one either. If it happens it happens otherwise neither of you are looking for it now so what's the problem? I would be skeptical that this is going anywhere other than the bed because like d0nnivain said your not remembering having sex with him raised red flags to him that you sleep around a lot. Not saying you do but that is how it looks. Yes him giving you his number means it is up to you to contact him. 1
Mrs._December Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 2. He knows back in the day you were open to NSA attached sex. Since you didn't remember him, he has conclude that you have had soooo many ONS that all the guys in your past blended together. So I suspect he's looking for another hook up & even if he wants a relationship in general he may not respect you enough to want one with you. I have to be honest - I agree completely with the above. I think he just sees you as an easy mark. But if you're good with that, then it's all good. 1
Author frus69 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Posted February 25, 2019 I have to be honest - I agree completely with the above. I think he just sees you as an easy mark. But if you're good with that, then it's all good. Well He's also an easy mark. We square now lol
Orokotikki Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 I really dont think he drugged me or anything if that's what you are implying.. Is it really weird people forget about casual hook ups? It sure is to me. Also 3 years ago is not 'many years ago' if I follow correctly. Anyways sounds like weak sauce, toss and avoid. 1
preraph Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 I dont think I was drunk because I dont really drink. If he drugged me, I should at least still remember him? Or remember hanging with him or drinking with him? I suppose I dont remember because it was many years ago and I only hooked up with him once, and never saw him again. From what he said, I invited him over and we netflix and chilled. I do remember living my single life back in those days (if you know what i mean) so maybe I just forget one or two.. You wouldn't necessarily. I'm still trying to figure out exactly who doped me at one incident. I've been doped three or four times, best I can tell, from reading my journal and the particulars in it. It was pre-rohypnol, though. But yeah, if I guy doped your drink but hadn't even talked to you yet but just snuck and did it or bribed the bartender to do it (I believe that used to go on a lot), and then just waited for you to go out, you'd never remember him. The time I'm trying to figure out that used to worry me is I was already a big drinker, but I went to the usual music bar and only had a couple of drinks. I shouldn't have been drunk. I got real sick real suddenly. Now, a guy who I had what I'll call a near-date-rape experience with was there that night. But the guy who "caught" me and took me home was another guy, a guy from our crowd who I had no reason to distrust. So I'm assuming it was the bad guy who did it, but I always worried a little that what if it was the other guy. I was sick and I wasn't blacked out, but very dizzy and sick. But the rohypnol really puts you out and where you don't remember.
Author frus69 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Posted February 25, 2019 Dont think that's the case cuz I dont drink. Only drink when I'm invited to corporate dinners where everyone gets served wine.
olivetree Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 I'd forget about him. So many reasons to - he sounds like he doesn't want to put any effort in and you said your self-esteem is low. I don't think this will help that. And I do think it's very strange you wouldn't remember sleeping with someone three years ago unless you were drunk/drugged or on some kind of crazy sex binge. 2
Hopeful30 Posted February 27, 2019 Posted February 27, 2019 It's up to you. I personally never call because it's the man's job to chase. He needs to show me that he knows how to work for what he wants. Otherwise down the road, I'll end up telling him what to do because he doesn't have enough initiative to build a life that he wants. I have a friend who said her man never chased her (which she liked) and years later she's struggling with the fact that he lost his job and isn't doing anything about it. When a man chases, he reveals his type of personality when it comes to achieving a goal. This, to me, is sexy. When a man tells me to do the chasing initially, I write him off as a girlfriend and move on to a real man who knows what to do
d0nnivain Posted February 27, 2019 Posted February 27, 2019 There's a difference between chasing & initiating the occasional call or date. It's 2019. As a woman if you want equal rights, you have take some initiate. You can't be equal in one aspect of your life & entitled in the other. By sitting around waiting for some 1950s stereotype where men must call women, are you also going to accept a 1950s relationship where he's the sole breadwinner, you get an allowance & do all the household chores the greet him at door in a pretty dress & high heels while serving him a drink before dinner? 1
2much4 Posted February 27, 2019 Posted February 27, 2019 My experience with guys who tell you to call them is the following: 1) he's shy and doesn't want to risk rejection Or 2) he's an ******* and he knows it. The classic is the guy with the girlfriend who doesn't want to feel like he's actively looking to cheat. Or the guy who knows he'll treat you like ****. It's a way to deflect responsability and be like "well, she was the one to contact me so this one's on her".
bathtub-row Posted February 27, 2019 Posted February 27, 2019 He remembers a mark on your thigh after 3 years? Either he peeps in your window or he just has a very vivid memory - I’m not sure. But if I didn’t remember someone I spent an evening with and had sex with, and then who made such a flippant remark as ‘you have my number’, I’d pass. I hate it when guys throw the ball in a woman’s court. It’s so arrogant and lame. It speaks volumes about his personality.
alphamale Posted February 27, 2019 Posted February 27, 2019 There's a difference between chasing & initiating the occasional call or date. It's 2019. As a woman if you want equal rights, you have take some initiate. You can't be equal in one aspect of your life & entitled in the other. By sitting around waiting for some 1950s stereotype where men must call women, are you also going to accept a 1950s relationship where he's the sole breadwinner, you get an allowance & do all the household chores the greet him at door in a pretty dress & high heels while serving him a drink before dinner? this reminds me of Leave it to Beaver
Author frus69 Posted February 28, 2019 Author Posted February 28, 2019 My experience with guys who tell you to call them is the following: 1) he's shy and doesn't want to risk rejection Or 2) he's an ******* and he knows it. The classic is the guy with the girlfriend who doesn't want to feel like he's actively looking to cheat. Or the guy who knows he'll treat you like ****. It's a way to deflect responsability and be like "well, she was the one to contact me so this one's on her". Initially I thought it was the first so I shoot him a text yesterday which was like 3 days after our date. The text was some joke from the internet about...guys taking care of their own business if you know what i mean. And he didnt reply. So I either creeped him out or it was the second.
Curiousroxy86 Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 There's a difference between chasing & initiating the occasional call or date. It's 2019. As a woman if you want equal rights, you have take some initiate. You can't be equal in one aspect of your life & entitled in the other. By sitting around waiting for some 1950s stereotype where men must call women, are you also going to accept a 1950s relationship where he's the sole breadwinner, you get an allowance & do all the household chores the greet him at door in a pretty dress & high heels while serving him a drink before dinner? Allowing the guy to intiate calls and asking for dates does not make me unequal or less than. And it's oh so fun even in 2019.
bathtub-row Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 There's a difference between chasing & initiating the occasional call or date. It's 2019. As a woman if you want equal rights, you have take some initiate. You can't be equal in one aspect of your life & entitled in the other. By sitting around waiting for some 1950s stereotype where men must call women, are you also going to accept a 1950s relationship where he's the sole breadwinner, you get an allowance & do all the household chores the greet him at door in a pretty dress & high heels while serving him a drink before dinner? I disagree. There's a big difference between careers and relationships. You can't undo 3 million years of human nature. People can deny it as long as they want but equality and rights don't have anything to do with men being men and women being women. Of course, there are exceptions but I've seen this 'equality' thing backfire on women more often than not. What's wrong with being a lady who's intelligent, driven, and career-minded? It doesn't mean she doesn't like a man's attention or that she doesn't need romance in her life, or a good man that she can lean on sometimes. 1
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