Andy_K Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 Sounds like people are being unduly harsh on the brother's BFF here... they way I read it, it's the brother that made the rule, and the brother who's kicked him out of the group. If you're not close to the BFF, then by all means do what you like. Just be aware that actions have consequences. If you piss off brother's BFF too much, you may strain your relationship with your brother. Likely he'll get over it, but it just depends how much drama you want to put up with in the meantime. Good luck! 1
The Dude Abides Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 This is what you do...locate her on social media and ask her out.....his friend can go f a duck. LOL Smack, that's one I haven't heard in a while. 1
salparadise Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 If you're not close to the BFF, then by all means do what you like. Just be aware that actions have consequences. If you piss off brother's BFF too much, you may strain your relationship with your brother. Likely he'll get over it, but it just depends how much drama you want to put up with in the meantime. Good luck! All of this is about whether calling dibs on a girl is valid. I say it's hogwash. Sure, might not be happy, but who made him emperor? This just ain't how things work. He made is bid, apparently, and nothing came of it. End of story. 1
Author alexmicah Posted February 26, 2019 Author Posted February 26, 2019 Good for you. Now you have a date! As for preraph's concerns . . . I think it depends on the closeness of the relationship with the guy. For example if your brother was the one who liked the girl first it would have been a jerk move for you to flirt with him. You needed to refrain out of respect for your brother. IMO no such prohibitions exist with respect to your brother's friend who is not your friend. Do try to be sensitive to his hurt feelings & bruised ego; don't rub your relationship in his face. d0nnivain, No, I would have never done that to my brother or my own best friend. Of course, my brother would have told me before I met her he was into her. The night I met her we were seriously vibing. We couldn't keep our eyes off each other. I assumed she was single or she wouldn't have been hardcore flirting like that. When my lil bro broke the news his bff had laid claim on her even though they were completely platonic, I was like wtf? I'm not the kind of guy that goes around stealing other guy's girls,but she is not "his" girl. He just has that "if I can't have her, neither can you" mentality. I'm not trying to dog him but he treats her like a possession. He tells every guy he knows that they are not allowed to talk to her. And I've kept my distance,believe me, until last Sat. Blame it on the alcohol.lol Still, I've known him for a long time, and I would never rub anything in his face. I'm not a vindictive person. I still feel guilty, but not enough to give up a girl I feel so strongly about for someone I'm not that close to. As another poster said, there will be repercussions and I'll have to face them.Hopefully she'll be cool with keeping things on the dl, at least for now. 1
crispytoast Posted February 26, 2019 Posted February 26, 2019 Really, the dibs sh*t is bullsh*t. If a woman is into you and you have it on lock, you don't need to tell people to stay away from her because you're the one that's on her mind. If you feel like you do, either you're really insecure or she really isn't that into you. If a friend of mine is acting possessive of someone, I definitely lose some respect for him/her, regardless of whether or not they are dating. Possessiveness is wack. 1
spiderowl Posted March 3, 2019 Posted March 3, 2019 I think what this really comes down to is that the woman decides who she wants to date. If it was your brother or best friend who was interested, then yes, you need to back off and give them chance if you knew beforehand, but a BFF is a remote 'relative'. Regardless of what anybody else does, the girl will decide who she wants. Love does not usually follow rules. Who was it said that 'All's fair in love and war'?
Author alexmicah Posted March 10, 2019 Author Posted March 10, 2019 Hey guys, sorry it took so long for me to update. Our date got delayed because of a family emergency, but we went out Friday night and things went really well. We have a lot of common interests and our conversation flowed naturally. I can defintely see the potential long term with her. I took her to dinner and then we went to this really cool bar with live music where we were given cushions to sit on. We found a semiprivate area to chill in the corner and thats where we first kissed. After that it was basically a make out fest for the rest of the night. (Don't judge me, she straddled my lap as soon as i slipped my tongue in her mouth. Lol) We did end up talking about my brothers friend and she told me he knew she only saw him as a friend from the beginning, but he obviously wants more. She is not attracted to him in the least. She doesn't wanna hurt his feelings though because when they first met she was going through a rough time and he supported her through it, so she kind of feels indebted. But she knows he wont let me come out with them anymore. I didn't have to tell her. She was afraid that would happen even before I tried to kiss her because he sees we're attracted to each other. So for now, we're just going to see where things go before we decide how to handle the friend. Now that i l know her side of the story, I don't feel bad at all because he knew from the get go he was friendzoned. So he has no right to tell her who she can and cannot see. Thanks for all the help. Hoping thing's continue to progress because I really like this girl:) 1
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