reefy86 Posted February 24, 2019 Posted February 24, 2019 I feel such an idiot doing this but i have had enough of feeling lonely and having such low confidence. I was cheated on twice and i never really forgave her the first time which was 6 years into our relationship but this last one killed me and now i feel worthless. I went on my first date after feeling ready and i was nervous but i did it and i thought it went well but she obviously politely ghosted me although weirdly she said it went well and asked me to add her on facebook. Anyways it knocked me back a little but i expected it, ive never in my life cheated or even looked at another girl in that way while in a relationship so now i don't even know where to start properly I've been unhappy for 4 years and don't know how i can even become happy as its clearly affecting me from attracting anyone unless I'm just ugly lol. Can someone who has had similar experience please help me on this? I really want to be happy. Sad and pathetic i know but its not nice.
preraph Posted February 24, 2019 Posted February 24, 2019 Well, online dating is absolutely brutal for 99 percent of people and literally everyone gets ghosted, so I don't advise you using that since your self-esteem is fragile and urge you to simply take up more real-world activities or hobbies where you may meet someone, running, biking, kayaking, bowling, dancing, take a cooking class, church, whatever. Get yourself out there because online dating will crush someone like you. Besides too many people end up liking someone long-distance and waste years doing that and nothing comes of it. Best to date local. Be realistic about dating someone within five years of age of you and don't try to dip down to the age girls you last dated years ago, a common happenstance that doesn't work out. And realize people reject you or are simply not interested for a myriad of reasons. Some young women or men may prefer brunettes to blondes or some physical characteristic that they hold out for, even though it makes little sense. If you happened to meet a stylish woman, she might judge your clothing and only like guys who wear stylish labels, where most women wouldn't even cross their minds like that as long as your clothes fit, are clean and reflect your personality a little, not too dull. It can literally be anything. You might remind one woman of her Uncle Harry, who was a skeevy perv. Or you might get lucky and remind some woman of her favorite uncle and she doesn't even know why but she's inexplicably drawn to you for that reason. It sounds funny to say it's not personal, but really, unless you have a personality problem, it's really not that personal and not really your limitation but theirs. So just start fresh, date in your age range, and try to meet women who like what you do by getting out and doing fun things.
Author reefy86 Posted February 24, 2019 Author Posted February 24, 2019 Thank you for your reply i am 32 and the girl i went on a date with was 30 so still around my age. I know i need to get out more and i have tried nights out too but i am just not feeling it.
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 I feel such an idiot doing this but i have had enough of feeling lonely and having such low confidence. I was cheated on twice and i never really forgave her the first time which was 6 years into our relationship but this last one killed me and now i feel worthless. I went on my first date after feeling ready and i was nervous but i did it and i thought it went well but she obviously politely ghosted me although weirdly she said it went well and asked me to add her on facebook. Anyways it knocked me back a little but i expected it, ive never in my life cheated or even looked at another girl in that way while in a relationship so now i don't even know where to start properly I've been unhappy for 4 years and don't know how i can even become happy as its clearly affecting me from attracting anyone unless I'm just ugly lol. Can someone who has had similar experience please help me on this? I really want to be happy. Sad and pathetic i know but its not nice. that unhappiness is seeping through. People pick up on your misery, making them run. Better change your attitude to positive/coincidence or you go nowhere.
David33 Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 Make it easy to be happy. If your rule is someone must like/love me, people may disappoint you. If it's I just have to get up in the morning, or go for a walk or be nice to someone...that's easy. GL
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2019 Posted February 25, 2019 Dating is not for the faint of heart, especially OLD. You need to get a handle on the cheating. You are not worthless because somebody else was unethical. Get your head screwed on straight before you date. Until you sort yourself out, even if you try to date, you are going to punish the new person in your life for your EXs sins. You will be suspicious of every little thing & you will push a good partner away due to your paranoia. Don't jump straight back to dating. Give yourself a few months to figure out who you are as a single adult. Dating in your 30s is vastly different then dating in your 20s when you last did this. Slow down.
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