Is this approach likely to get me a date?

[KingofDiamonds]

Hi everyone, thank you for reading this.

 

IÂ’m single, and donÂ’t tend to meet many people I think of as potential partners. When I do, I remember them, and almost would feel like IÂ’d let myself down if I didnÂ’t pursue a relationship with someone who is right because of my own fears.

 

So IÂ’ve decided to message someone I met at work a few years ago, who I liked at the time and who, despite me not being in the same team as them, I mustered up the courage to talk to. IÂ’ve had her on Facebook since, have spoken a couple of times informally when we were both in relationships. I suspect she might have an inkling that IÂ’ved liked here, but I suspect she hasnÂ’t really spent any time thinking about me.

 

I think itÂ’s a little creepy to message someone who you barely know on Facebook, and push for a date. ItÂ’s also likely to result in being ignored, so I need a different approach. Recently, sheÂ’s posted a lot of running pictures, and also being into running myself, I thought that could be an area of common interest. She also asked for donations to a cause I strongly believe in, for a run sheÂ’s doing later this year.

 

My plan is to get in touch with her about this charity run, after I make a donation (itÂ’s the type of thing I would have donated to anyway). IÂ’ll then ask, casually, how she is, and kick off a short conversation, but I wonÂ’t actively move it on from that point. This conversation will probably fizzle out (unless she pushes it) and sheÂ’ll be left with (A) a positive association with me, from my donation to a cause she values and (B) a perception that IÂ’m not just trying to date her (she probably gets a lot of interest and messages, and to not turn the conversation into a date would probably stand out). IÂ’ll then speak to her again, possibly about her training for the race, and then try to initiate a date depending on how that goes.

 

What are your views of this? IÂ’m aware that, if she does respond positively, then the momentum might be there which could let me push for a date now, rather than wait until the later message. But I do think thereÂ’s something slightly unattractive about someone who is too eager, and I want to avoid that perception of myself. Any views would be welcomed.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I think it sounds like a great approach.

 

Good luck!

[alphamale]

a better approach would be to tell her you'll make a donation IF she goes out to dinner with you.

[Ronni_W]

My plan is to get in touch with her about this charity run, after I make a donation

Depending on how serious of a runner you are, you could also then ask if entry is still open so that you can actually be part of the run. And/or, you can ask about her training regimen -

- does she train with a group, and is the group open to accepting new running partners, and/or is she interested in having you as an occasional training partner.

Make it about the charity, and the running, and the training for said charity run. (Not really about you or about her.) .

[preraph]

Yeah, that approach is okay. At least you have something in common. But do you know if she's 1) straight 2)unattached? Can you tell from her FB? Hope so.