cupycake Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 Hi guys, I just dont know where is the right place to put this topic so I'll share my story here. I went thru a broke up last year, it was very difficult, took me months to get over it. Reason is that my ex wanted to "try something new". So I decided to take a break for myself, went back to Vietnam, I had fun with my friends and family here. So, here I got this group of friends, that I would say they are the best. We all went to High school together and we still keep very good friendship until now although I went abroad after High school and all of us barely talk to each other after I left. But as long as I come back to visit the country, we always gather together like same old time. In this group, there is this guy who is my ex that we were in relationship before I went abroad but we broke up 6 - 7 months after that because of long distance relationship and we were too young. The decision came from both side, no hatred and we're still good friend until now. It has been almost 6 years since we broke up and we both have new relationship and then broke up again and we are both single right now. As our group started to meet up again, we started going out more, almost like every week and somehow I saw him very attractive. I started to have feelings for him again and I was planning to tell him that I want to comeback. It wasnt a problem until I talked to his twin brother and found out that he doesnt want to be in relationship at this moment, what he cares now is to focus on work. I already know that I'll be rejected for sure but I give it a shot anyway. So I asked him to go out for a movie and hope I could tell him directly on that day but it didnt happen because I got a job interview right after the movie. I texted him after that said I have sthing to tell him and I want to say it directly that if he would be free tomorrow but he said he won't be and doesnt know when he will have time. So I kept waiting until yesterday, the group went out for a coffee and we were playing cards. I dont remember what happened that lead to him saying to the group that he doesnt want to be in relationship right now, what he really wants is to focus on work. I felt like he was saying that to me indirectly but directly ... you know what I mean guys. I kept thinking about it so after we all got home, I couldnt stand anymore and sent him a message saying that the reason I want to talk to him in person is because I wanted to start over this relationship BUT I heard what he said to the group earlier, I guess he has made his point clear and I hope that our friendship wont be effected by this after all. Yes, he sent me a text back said that he just want to focus on work right now and tell me not to worry about making things awkward between us. Even though I already knew that he will reject me but I still feel so sad and so disappointed now. I don't even know what would it be the next time we have group meet up. Possibly awkwardness !! If you guys have any tips or comments that could make me feel better, please share with me! Thanks a bunchhhh!
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 You tried. Bravo to you for taking a risk! Don't make it awkward. Act like it never happened. Carry on as if he means nothing to you. Meanwhile look outside your group for another to date. 1
stillafool Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 Yes I agree that at least you tried and now you know where you stand. At least you don't have to wonder about his feelings as now you are clear. Maybe stay away from that group of people for a while to preserve your feelings.
Author cupycake Posted February 22, 2019 Author Posted February 22, 2019 You tried. Bravo to you for taking a risk! Don't make it awkward. Act like it never happened. Carry on as if he means nothing to you. Meanwhile look outside your group for another to date. Thanks though Well it's not that he means nothing to me ... I must say that I'm closer to both him and his twin brother than other people in the same group. They are like my super duper best friend to me. Because of our history so ... you know it's weird to tell him my feelings and then the next day pretend like nothing happened
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 Not that he means nothing to you but that he doesn't mean anything more to you then he did before you asked him out. Kind of like taking a mini eraser to that little part of your overall interactions & carry on.
Author cupycake Posted February 22, 2019 Author Posted February 22, 2019 Yes I agree that at least you tried and now you know where you stand. At least you don't have to wonder about his feelings as now you are clear. Maybe stay away from that group of people for a while to preserve your feelings. I'm thinking the same about being away from them again. Since I took a break back to the country for almost 3 months already, I guess it's time to go abroad again. Travel, meet new people, hopefully to get over this hahaha 1
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 Seems extreme but I get the sense that you are free spirit. So happy travels!
Author cupycake Posted February 22, 2019 Author Posted February 22, 2019 Not that he means nothing to you but that he doesn't mean anything more to you then he did before you asked him out. Kind of like taking a mini eraser to that little part of your overall interactions & carry on. Ohh, yeah sorry I took it wrong way. Definitely. Like it or not but I have to be the one who not making things awkward and stuff. You're right. 1
Author cupycake Posted February 22, 2019 Author Posted February 22, 2019 Seems extreme but I get the sense that you are free spirit. So happy travels! Indeed I am ... Oh that's also one of the reason I think even if we get back, the relationship wont work .. again. He's a very "family" kind of person. Like he likes to stay or live wherever his family is. But I'm not. I like moving around, If I see there are opportunities to go here and there, travelling, I take it. Well, gotta settle down at some point of my life but not now.
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