b52srock Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 She wins. She got my husband. She got my home. Now she's got my children, too. Everything I spent my life loving and caring for. What's the point? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 What's the point? the "point" is to face life's challenges head on, persevere, and move on.... Link to post Share on other sites
cherrysoduh Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 the point is you need to pick yourself up off the floor and move on with your life. Easier said than done....I know. I have not experience the pain you have with the OW syndrome and I can't even begin to imagine. I know that I too lost my husband and I will have to move on with my life no matter how bad it hurts, he made up his mind and there is nothing I can change. And to be honest it doesn't sound like yours is going to change either. Call up an old girlfriend and go out to dinner or something. Go to the hairdresser get some new color, maybe some hightlites, and a cut......and let your self go...let yourself go do what you want. I know it is hard moving on b/c I am having a hard time too, but at one point you have to realize that HE MADE HIS CHOICE and you have to accept it and get the hell on with your life. We can mop around the house for days, weeks, months even years but that isn't going to make them come back. It is time to move on...no matter how bad it hurts. And like I said I know its easier said than done. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 She wins. She got my husband. She got my home. Now she's got my children, too. Everything I spent my life loving and caring for. What's the point? She didn't win.. In reality she lost but she doesn't know it yet.. Give it time. She got your trash , somebody that didn't treat you right She may have gotten your home. But she has to live with YOUR ghost. She didn't get your kids.. They will alway's be yours.. Life is full of change.. We have to learn to change within it. The point ?? Alpha said it best .. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 1. She wins. 2. She got my husband. She got my home. Now she's got my children, too. 3. Everything I spent my life loving and caring for. 4. What's the point? 1. In the grand scheme of things she didn't "win" anything, but it will be a while before you are able to see that. 2. These are things you defined yourself by, but they are not you. She may have 'gotten' your husband, but what did she really win except the sort of man who cheats on his wife? She got the house you and your husband put together - but its not your home. You will rebuild your 'home' in time, even though she moved into your house. Your children are yours. Your children will probably accept her over time, but to them at the base of it - she will always just be the woman who broke up their parents. 3. This cuts to the bone, I know - but you still have life in you yet, to rebuild slowly. 4. The point is that you are still alive. You still have a shot in life. Behind you lies a smoking ruin - a shambles. Ahead of you lies only possibility, but you have to get to the point where you can see the future without the smoke of the past blinding you. It won't be easy. I won't even pretend to tell you that it will be easy. When you are critically injured, you need a crutch until your body is strong enough to carry its own. You have been emotionally critically injured and right now you need a crutch for what is left of your heart. Consider a therapist for yourself - someone who can help you with some anti-depressants and talk therapy to help get you through the worst of this until your heart can heal a little and you can begin to want to wake up in the morning again. With time. Lots of time, and patience - that smoke will clear. The day might be dimly lit instead of pitch black. I hope that every day will be a bit brighter as you work toward finding the self you lost in all this. All that you defined yourself on was yanked out from under you - it is time to find that person you were before those defining things came into your life. You'll have to reach deep. It will hurt. It will be incredibly painful, but the way I see it - so is chemo and radiation, but it is a neccessary and healing pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Honey, call your doctor ASAP, and get in for a med-check. Depression alters your thinking. You need to address that today. Did you wean off your AD's or did you stop taking them suddenly? If you stopped cold turkey, you could be experiencing negative effects. Please don't wait. Address this TODAY. You're kids need you too much for you to take risks. It's hard, but you CAN take this one little baby-step. The best revenge of all is living life well. You let them WIN only if you let them make you miserable. You only prove your ex's case if you're living in misery. So, get in there and FIGHT for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 b52s- {Gently} Listen to LadyJane - take a small step today just for yourself. Listen to us: call your Dr. right now and don't ask - tell them - you need to come in. Be honest with him/her about what is going on. I'm not a medical person at all, but I know some meds can have some real significant side effects from stopping quickly. Back on Aug 31 you said you were on meds, and if now you are off, that's a pretty quick taper off. Will you do this today? Now? If you were my sister, mother, daughter, friend, I would be on your phone - on your doorstep - right now. About the new person... she doesn't have your children. You daughter is young; as kids grow they will reexperience and relearn the truth in different ways as their development allows; as long as you remain her mother, nothing will - nothing can - replace that. This is in your control. Imagine ahead, and think of your daughter as she will be as a young adult. She may look back at these tough or confusing times, but she will proudly say "and my mom has always been there for me." And she'll be talking about you. And your son - it sounds like he's old enough to "get it", so I don't think there's any way that she "has" him. Again - continue to be what he needs most - his mother. Sit down, take a deep breath, close your eyes for a minute. Think about what is most imporant to you. Picture your children (I'm betting that was it, huh?) Imagine what you want their lives to be and what part you want to take in those lives. Now, pick up the phone, call your Doc, and get back to us and let us know what's going on, OK? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 B52- I just want to echo was LJ and LB said and to send you some hugs. You're the prize honey and it's HIM that lost, not you! Link to post Share on other sites
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