TrivisualStudios Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago. i left her but when i did, i tried to go back to her because i know i made a mistake. after the first month of NC she started calling me and told me she wanted to hang out. so we did, and as i left she told me she wanted to try to work things out. the next day, she left me a message saying she doesnt think it will work out and i'm changing but for the better without her. about another month went by without any contact. all-of-a-sudden i get a call at work, which im surprised because she has never called my work before for me, leaving a message with my foreman saying i have to call her, its really important. So i called her back and she asked if I could come to her house after work and talk to her about things because she couldnt tell me what was soo important over the phone. I went to her house, and she told me she really misses me alot, and wants to slowly start working on a good friendship in hopes of us getting back together. i agreed with her, but told her we have to take it slow. the next week i call her and ask her if she wants to hang out. she told me yes, after work on a friday night. that friday i called her in hopes to ask her when she got done with work. she never answered. well i called her a couple more times that night, but she never answered or returned the calls. i decided i would call one more time, and when i did her friend answered the phone. she was at a party with all her friends getting drunk, while i sat up at home waiting to hang out. this was a few weekends ago and it still is bothering me because she has not answered any of my calls since then. i have been very hurt by these two incidents but for some reason i still think about her and lose soo much sleep over her. I know you will probably say im dumb for going back to her again, but i can't help my feelings. what if she calls me again, and wants to hang out or work things out? i just need some answers of what to make of this and a little guidance on what to do. I'd appreciate all the help I could get.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 She is playing with you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there it is. She gets attention from you, just enough to give herself a self-esteem boost. Then she's off again. She's using you, pure and simple. Without regard for your heart and whether it gets broken. Next time she calls, be unavailable. Most girls are not like this, so move on.
Author TrivisualStudios Posted September 19, 2005 Author Posted September 19, 2005 yup, thats exactly what ive been thinking, but wasn't quite sure. so be unavailable or stop answering her phone calls at all. or just tell her it is over and done with? im not quite sure how to hand this really.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Well, I would just stop making an effort with her. Don't refuse to speak to her, just stop chasing her. So if she leaves a message, don't answer it. If she catches up with you and asks why, just say you were busy. Keep phone calls short - like 10 minutes or so, then say you have to go. Be friendly, but reserved.
lindya Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 RR's comments seconded. She's either on some sort of power trip, or she's keeping you on ice just in case she might need you. Either way, her behaviour's causing you stress that you don't need.... i have been very hurt by these two incidents but for some reason i still think about her and lose soo much sleep over her. That's a common reaction to stress and upset. I know you will probably say im dumb for going back to her again, but i can't help my feelings. what if she calls me again, and wants to hang out or work things out? No, you can't help your feelings. You took the risk of acting on them. Sometimes it pays off, but unfortunately this time it didn't. It's okay to have feelings, but they're an emotional response to circumstances rather than necessarily being a reliable guide to the future action you should take. Why not read over your post again, as if it were written by a complete stranger - then come back and tell us what you think you should do if she calls again to suggest working things out.
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