Frenchie22 Posted February 18, 2019 Posted February 18, 2019 Hi everyone, I really hope that some of you will be able to tell me what's wrong with me. I've been single for a while now (more than a year) and every single time I've tried to be in a relationship with a guy, it didn't work out at all. Yesterday, something happened to me that made me realise that there is something wrong with me. I spent the weekend with a guy I'd been talking to a lot, but we had never met before. He is kind, loving and caring, adventurous... He is even really good-looking. The weekend was great, in my opinion: we had a drink, went for a walk in the city, and even went to a really nice restaurant. He hugged me a lot, we spent the night in each other's arms, and it felt really nice. But the next day, around 6pm, he suddenly decided to go home and see one of his friends, telling me that we would see each other on Thursday anyway (at his place), and that he would send me a message. He talked a lot about where we could go together, what we could do, our possible future... I just got a text from him saying that he thought a lot about it yesterday evening, and that he thinks it would be useless to continue, as we were too different. (Something like: "I thought about this a lot yesterday evening, and I don't know about you but I don't think it would be useful to continue ... We're too different and the relationship will be going nowhere. What do you think?") I can see where he's going with this, and I have to explain first that I am an English teacher in France. I am really committed to my job and I am under a lot of pressure, but I also have a lot of ambition. I read a lot, I love visiting museums and new cities around the world. He is a logistics manager and he lives in a small town in the middle of nowhere. He doesn't seem to be as interested in culture as I am, but he loves traveling and he is fond of nature, so at least that's one thing we have in common. I'll probably sound really full of myself if I say that it's probably the reason why he thinks we're so different: he's not an intellectual, he doesn't speak English fluently and he doesn't come from the same social background. It doesn't matter to me, I never considered it a problem because we can definitely learn from each other... I'm really glad that he had the courage to send me that text, but he never actually answered to give me more details. So I'm a bit upset. I don't know what you think about this. I don't want to impress guys and I definitely don't want to make them feel like they're not good enough. I feel really guilty. Thanks for reading this!
Olivia_daviss Posted February 18, 2019 Posted February 18, 2019 There isn't anything wrong with you love is just a strange thing you need to find the right person if he thinks you are too good for him reply with I didn't think I was good enough for you if you want to start a relationship you need to play the game a bit best of luck
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2019 Posted February 18, 2019 You need more patience. You jumped into bed with a man you just met. Somewhere in there you also managed to delve into deep subjects like the future & your ambition. None of that is appropriate for early dates. Let this guy go. He's right about you not being compatible. However, if you had gone more slowly about this you may have had the option to make small course corrections in your lives to stay on the same path. The big change of directions for a relative stranger is too much to ask. When you meet somebody go on a date, no longer then 3-4 hours. Kiss goodnight & go to your own separate homes. Do this for a while. After several dates in a month or so then you can start with sleep overs. While you are dating you get to know the other person. Ask pertinent questions about him. Reveal your innermost thoughts, hopes & desires slowly, like an onion or avocado peeling one layer back at a time. There's nothing wrong with you. You are self aware enough to recognize that you have the ability to learn from people different from you. Not everybody is that self aware or brave. Let them get there more slowly. A few dates does not a lifetime commitment make. In the beginning try not to project further into the future then a week.
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 18, 2019 Author Posted February 18, 2019 Olivia_daviss You're right, I could play the game but I don't know if he's ever going to reply... d0nnivain You're right as well. I made a huge mistake. He decided to come and stay and I didn't tell him that it was too much for a first date. And I also didn't want to sleep next to him either, I really regret this now. He insisted, and I was weak... or I desperately need affection. I know we managed to delve into deep subjects, which wasn't the smartest thing to do but again, he was the one to initiate it and I didn't mind. That's why I am so disappointed, because it came from him and I played his game. I am aware of the fact that we are not together, so is he. I just don't know why he even asked for my opinion. If I had to let someone go and if I didn't want to see that person ever again, I would just say so. Something like "I think we're too different, it will not work for me". Why did he ask what I think about it? Who cares? He probably doesn't, is that something guys do to be more polite? If I tell him that I disagree, is it going to change something?
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2019 Posted February 18, 2019 If you think there is a chance, allay his fears. Say something like . . . Obviously I took my time responding because I really thought about what you said. Yes, we are different but that is not a bad thing. I think it presents a growth opportunity for both of us. I'd like to get to know you better. Then ask him on another date you arrange. But if the whole thing isn't working for you, just be done with him. I am curious though. If you were weak because you wanted physical comfort, why didn't you want to sleep next to him? I get it, I think. I'm not crazy about curling myself around another person. I don's sleep well that way either. DH solved it by keeping our feet / ankles connected & not taking it personally when the other person slides away in the night after a new minutes of cuddling.
Curiousroxy86 Posted February 18, 2019 Posted February 18, 2019 He just the wrong guy hun Move on date other men
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 18, 2019 Author Posted February 18, 2019 Update: I asked him why he wanted my opinion. "Why are you even asking for my opinion when it seems you've already made up your mind? I don't understand why you're feeling this. I didn't realise that it went that badly for you, I'm really sorry if that's the case..." He said: "Well, not really, that's why I wanted to know what you were thinking about this" Thank you for your advice, I think I'll answer something like this because it's exactly what I think, I just needed to get the phrasing right Haha, exactly! It's not comfortable but sometimes you just need some human warmth. I feel like a teenager now...
preraph Posted February 18, 2019 Posted February 18, 2019 How is this going to work at all when you're not even in the same city?
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 18, 2019 Author Posted February 18, 2019 How is this going to work at all when you're not even in the same city? We don't live that far away from each other. It's just a one-hour drive. He didn't seem to mind, and I didn't either. I'll probably even move closer to him in July, as I'll have to work in another school.
Versacehottie Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 I think even if someone is not as accomplished as you, let's say on paper (conventional achievements), it doesn't mean they don't have the ability to recognize who is right for them. For some people it might be something they are into to trade up, open their horizons or whatever and for some people they can probably realize without maybe being able to express it fully that it just wouldn't work in the long run. Even now if he seems to be re-opening that door, I don't think you should take another shot at it. Take him at his word. So as far as what "is wrong" with you. This is probably too small a sample size to tell but what i noticed that would be good for you to work on: 1. The belief system that something IS wrong with you. You probably need to really believe at your core that nothing is wrong with you with regards to love only that you haven't stumbled onto the right person. And then be willing to keep stumbling (or a better targeted search would be good too haha). 2. If you are newly dating, it's probably risky (in a dating sense for the good of the relationship) to spend that much time together at the beginning. A full weekend. It could go really right (like a movie) or really wrong. I think it can go wrong due to the situation not necessarily because you are not right for each other, but it's too much too soon. Also the expectation of the other person that you will want to be in a relationship immediately and fully committed is a lot of pressure, that's also a lot too soon. 3. Although you've chosen to be in another country, i think it's smart not to underestimate cultural differences as small as they may be (like if both from western or european countries, differences might not seem like much but actually can be bigger than imagined). Also, more pressure again, as not a native, in their minds, either you are not going to stay or the pressure is on them if you stay because of them, too much to consider vs someone who has their own full life & family & friends there, which takes the pressure off. Maybe the nuances too of the language don't allow you to communicate as freely as you would like or he would like. Unless your French is perfect and you understand inside jokes and word play in French. It may not bother you since you are open-minded enough to move to another country but a big part of falling or being able to fall in love with someone is being able to express yourself fully and comfortable. What is charming sometimes or to you, might be a block for some guys. If you keep posting I suppose we can help you with some other things. I think you also have to be careful of "wanting it too much" as the title of your thread might indicate. If some guy tells you are are basically not the one, you should be saying BYE. Good luck
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Posted February 19, 2019 Exactly. He seemed to be sure about the fact that we were too different to have a lasting relationship, but then he re-opened the door and I wonder why. He probably doesn't know what he's doing, or he's perhaps really confused about the whole situation. Anyway, it bothers me and I told him that he couldn't expect me to make a decision for him. But you're right, even if he decides to give it another try, I think I've been really disappointed and it will take time for me to trust him again. I'm not particularly resentful, but it will be in a corner of my mind, I know. I also didn't like the fact that he accused me of talking too much about our hypothetical future, when it's actually him who started it. I told him I thought he wanted a relationship, because he kept talking about this. He then said that it was mostly because he's not sure that he'll be able to spend a lot of time with me, not sure that he'll be able to give me what I want/ what I deserve (well, he doesn't even know what I want and what I deserve, and neither do I...) He just seems to be making excuses right now. At first, it kind of made sense. Now, it's just a lot of non-sense and he keeps adding things to the list. Perhaps there's nothing wrong with me, but I went on several dates since my last break-up and honestly, it never went well. I even lowered my expectations, but it didn't work out either! I was not interested, and they weren't interested either. There you go. I'm half-French, so I do get the inside jokes and I still have some relatives there. I don't think that's the main problem, but you're right, I should take that into account. Thanks for your message, it really helps! 1
Versacehottie Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 Oh good well then communicating fully looks like it's not an issue. I would say the perception of pressure (whether it's real or imagined in the case of this guy who presumed a lot of what you would want and need) played a big part. I think it usually does so with a lot of guys it can help to slow the pace for the best of the relationship. That way they will be more likely to know what you actually do want and need. And that they will convince themselves due to the slower pace of what they actually want themselves. Rather than feel like they made a mistake and moved too fast and doubt themselves. It still might not change the outcome but it might lessen the chance that he's not actually considering who you really are and what the relationship really is rather than all these imaginary things. Listen, he sounds like he is also speeding things up unnaturally in his head and then regretting it, doubting himself. There isn't much you can do to change a person's mind who is convinced of something. And now that he's concluded that you two aren't right for each other, it will be in the back of his mind too if he gives you another chance. Mind will try to find evidence to prove he WAS right--ie he will probably being looking for reasons that you are not right for each other rather than have an open mind. So some of it is him, some of it is the situation you guys created and some of it is you/your belief system of course (most important because it's the part you can change). I pay attention to the words people use and there is a huge distinction between saying: "it never went well (regarding relationships after your breakup)" vs if you were to say, "i haven't met the right guy for me yet". One way express a belief system where you characterize everything since as a failure and the word never, foresees more continued failure forever! Try to just neutralize it where you say to yourself, i haven't met the right guy for me yet. It's a shift in perspective that's more optimistic, puts the burden on the guy (in your mind) that he has to be good enough for you (vs you lowering standards in order to date), and saying 'yet" indicates to your mind that you need to try and put continued effort in but that it's not impossible. Makes the whole thing just a touch out of reach rather than impossible. Also takes internal pressure and pressure that you might transmit to others which often comes off as desperation or rushing. That should open up possibilities for you--though you really need to believe it. You can also characterize it as such that you "broke up and something better is out there for you, just around the corner". Keep trying to find ways to characterize your life and your wants in an optimistic, possible way. Also then in a way that is defined or actionable. In the case of this guy, defined or actionable. I would probably say that: "he has doubts therefore I have doubts and may have misread things. Going to pull back and see what happens with him while in the meantime take active steps to reconnect with myself, friends, family and meet new people. I want someone to appreciate who i am." And then seek that. Something like that. Good luck
chillii Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 (edited) Same old story over and over sorry to say, sleep with him so soon and that's that. lt easy to turn it on for a day or two and just politely make the escape later, that's the so called game l suppose. The too different , who knows , could be a million things and nothing to do with your intellectual side although that does usually make you a totally different type of person to someone that couldn't care less about the intellectual and its being a totally different person where the thing is. Most people prefer somebody a little or a lot like ourselves l mean it's the best way to get along with each other to be like minded and similar people. lt's easy to have a few good days with somebody different but anything long term a different story in most cases. There's not much more needed to know really, he told you what he thinks and whatever different he means if he ever thought there was a future he doesn't think there's one now so there's not much you can do with that unless he changes his mind sorry . Edited February 19, 2019 by chillii
Lotsgoingon Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 There's nothing wrong with you. Rather, your dating skills and your understanding of dating is wrong and needs to be revised. First, don't get in bed with people so soon ... not for moral reasons ... but because as in this case, you seem to think sleeping with someone means you have a deep connection with them. Sex means no such thing. Sex even after a date of laughter means NO SUCH THING! The solution to your woes is simply to slow down ... kissing is fine ... touching is fine ... but hold the line at sex or clothes coming off ... somehow kissing is a line that still allows us to not feel cheated if the relationship doesn't turn out. You simply need to extend the "interview" process of dating ... to REALLY figure out if this person is a good fit for you. There's a little bit of he's cute and we had a good time, THEREFORE we must be a good fit for a couple. No, not true! So so not true. You have to go out with a person multiple times to figure out if this person is for you ... right now, you're acting like a job applicant desperate for a job. No, you are the job interviewer! ... You need to be asking the same kinds of questions and do the same kind of thinking this guy did after he left your place. It may be that you're a really positive person but actually on early dates, you have to bring out the analytical brain ... and let it do its tough questioning for compatibility. Doesn't matter if the person is fun or not. You still need to stop and think. Just like this guy did. Nothing wrong with you. With your dating, yes. Not you. 1
Gretchen12 Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 Is this online dating? I estimate over 60% of the people on there are trying to get over a recent break up or trying to cheat on someone. And over 25% of the people have some personality disorder. In addition, you meet people that you would not normally meet in your circles, so on top of just the differences in interests, you are also less experienced with communicating with types you don't normally hang with. I don't know if there is something wrong with you but it wouldn't be the first place I'd look for a reason it didn't work out. There are already so many other reasons for not working out that has nothing to do with you. As for why he's "asking", I don't know, maybe he's hoping you'd say you just want to casually have fun sex when he's free. He can't ask that of you but he can hope you propose it.
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Posted February 19, 2019 Oh good well then communicating fully looks like it's not an issue. I would say the perception of pressure (whether it's real or imagined in the case of this guy who presumed a lot of what you would want and need) played a big part. I think it usually does so with a lot of guys it can help to slow the pace for the best of the relationship. That way they will be more likely to know what you actually do want and need. And that they will convince themselves due to the slower pace of what they actually want themselves. Rather than feel like they made a mistake and moved too fast and doubt themselves. It still might not change the outcome but it might lessen the chance that he's not actually considering who you really are and what the relationship really is rather than all these imaginary things. Listen, he sounds like he is also speeding things up unnaturally in his head and then regretting it, doubting himself. There isn't much you can do to change a person's mind who is convinced of something. And now that he's concluded that you two aren't right for each other, it will be in the back of his mind too if he gives you another chance. Mind will try to find evidence to prove he WAS right--ie he will probably being looking for reasons that you are not right for each other rather than have an open mind. So some of it is him, some of it is the situation you guys created and some of it is you/your belief system of course (most important because it's the part you can change). I pay attention to the words people use and there is a huge distinction between saying: "it never went well (regarding relationships after your breakup)" vs if you were to say, "i haven't met the right guy for me yet". One way express a belief system where you characterize everything since as a failure and the word never, foresees more continued failure forever! Try to just neutralize it where you say to yourself, i haven't met the right guy for me yet. It's a shift in perspective that's more optimistic, puts the burden on the guy (in your mind) that he has to be good enough for you (vs you lowering standards in order to date), and saying 'yet" indicates to your mind that you need to try and put continued effort in but that it's not impossible. Makes the whole thing just a touch out of reach rather than impossible. Also takes internal pressure and pressure that you might transmit to others which often comes off as desperation or rushing. That should open up possibilities for you--though you really need to believe it. You can also characterize it as such that you "broke up and something better is out there for you, just around the corner". Keep trying to find ways to characterize your life and your wants in an optimistic, possible way. Also then in a way that is defined or actionable. In the case of this guy, defined or actionable. I would probably say that: "he has doubts therefore I have doubts and may have misread things. Going to pull back and see what happens with him while in the meantime take active steps to reconnect with myself, friends, family and meet new people. I want someone to appreciate who i am." And then seek that. Something like that. Good luck Oh no, communication is not an issue (I'm only speaking about languages). He went to see his friend that night, and they probably talked about me. I should add that his friend just got dumped, so it must have been a really fun evening over-analysing everything. "Sorry, I can't give you what you want, even though I don't even know what you want". He managed to sound like a complete moron to me, well done. Now, I feel stupid as well because I'm waiting for his decision. And you're right, I should let him go. I totally agree with you about the power of words and the meaning they convey, which is why I think I'll try to be more optimistic. It also means changing the way I talk about things. I can only be glad that I have at least tried, even though I sometimes want to stop/avoid dating. It will take some time, I'm not that old... but it's annoying to see how easy it can be for some people. I'll leave him alone for a while, and if I never get an answer, I'll get over him. I've done it in the past, I can do it again. 1
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Posted February 19, 2019 Same old story over and over sorry to say, sleep with him so soon and that's that. lt easy to turn it on for a day or two and just politely make the escape later, that's the so called game l suppose. The too different , who knows , could be a million things and nothing to do with your intellectual side although that does usually make you a totally different type of person to someone that couldn't care less about the intellectual and its being a totally different person where the thing is. Most people prefer somebody a little or a lot like ourselves l mean it's the best way to get along with each other to be like minded and similar people. lt's easy to have a few good days with somebody different but anything long term a different story in most cases. There's not much more needed to know really, he told you what he thinks and whatever different he means if he ever thought there was a future he doesn't think there's one now so there's not much you can do with that unless he changes his mind sorry . That has nothing to do with sleeping with him. Because it's not what happened I'm really impressed then, he was good at this game... But you might be right. I also think that it's only an excuse to stop seeing me. Being different can be an issue, but honestly I'd rather see it as a great opportunity to discover new things. He may be thinking otherwise, I don't know. I only know that some guys find it hard to be with a woman who seems to be "superior" to them. My friends think that's what happened, but I don't know for sure... The thing is, he does change his mind. Asking for my opinion, not giving any definite answer... That's not being adamant, right?
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Posted February 19, 2019 There's nothing wrong with you. Rather, your dating skills and your understanding of dating is wrong and needs to be revised. First, don't get in bed with people so soon ... not for moral reasons ... but because as in this case, you seem to think sleeping with someone means you have a deep connection with them. Sex means no such thing. Sex even after a date of laughter means NO SUCH THING! The solution to your woes is simply to slow down ... kissing is fine ... touching is fine ... but hold the line at sex or clothes coming off ... somehow kissing is a line that still allows us to not feel cheated if the relationship doesn't turn out. You simply need to extend the "interview" process of dating ... to REALLY figure out if this person is a good fit for you. There's a little bit of he's cute and we had a good time, THEREFORE we must be a good fit for a couple. No, not true! So so not true. You have to go out with a person multiple times to figure out if this person is for you ... right now, you're acting like a job applicant desperate for a job. No, you are the job interviewer! ... You need to be asking the same kinds of questions and do the same kind of thinking this guy did after he left your place. It may be that you're a really positive person but actually on early dates, you have to bring out the analytical brain ... and let it do its tough questioning for compatibility. Doesn't matter if the person is fun or not. You still need to stop and think. Just like this guy did. Nothing wrong with you. With your dating, yes. Not you. Thank you for your reply, I'll keep all this in mind. I should pay more attention to the person I'm dating and I should probably stop idealising them. Which is what happened with him, I'm sure. I was just shocked when he left because it happened really quickly (in like, 5 minutes...) Took his bag, kissed me and left. I had the feeling that something was wrong and I was right, only I didn't know what it was. So I spent time thinking about what I did wrong, I never actually asked myself if I liked the guy... Now if I think about it, I'm not sure I do...
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Posted February 19, 2019 Is this online dating? I estimate over 60% of the people on there are trying to get over a recent break up or trying to cheat on someone. And over 25% of the people have some personality disorder. In addition, you meet people that you would not normally meet in your circles, so on top of just the differences in interests, you are also less experienced with communicating with types you don't normally hang with. I don't know if there is something wrong with you but it wouldn't be the first place I'd look for a reason it didn't work out. There are already so many other reasons for not working out that has nothing to do with you. As for why he's "asking", I don't know, maybe he's hoping you'd say you just want to casually have fun sex when he's free. He can't ask that of you but he can hope you propose it. Haha, thank you for your message, really! It cheered me up It was online dating indeed. I don't really have time to go out and meet people... His break up was not even that recent (over a year, just like me), and he wasn't cheating on anyone either, but he may have some personality disorder haha. Now that I think about it... Well if it's for casual sex, he can forget about it
frankspeci Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 (edited) I don't know that there's anything "wrong" with you, but from reading your post the thing that struck me is the way you described your experience. You described this guy the way one might describe an ex. You gave insights about his character and personality, but you'd only been on one date. I don't think it's possible for you to truly know any of these things about someone so early, regardless of how long you'd been talking online. "Kind" "Loving" "Caring"? After one date? I would say the emotional investment is too much too early. Maybe you are a passionate and compassionate person. That is lovely and the world needs more of that, but when it comes to early phase dating you gotta keep yourself in check. Otherwise you might be open to exploitation, and you will suffer more than you need to when things don't go the way you want. A disappointing end to a first date should not make you start to realize that something's wrong with you. There's probably nothing wrong with you. Keep working on you, keep dating, pick yourself up and move to the next guy, but be lighter about it. Don't jump to conclusions, don't dive too deep too soon, don't get too attached. Temper your vulnerability with maturity and patience. It'll take less of a toll on you. That's just my two cents. Edited February 19, 2019 by frankspeci 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 Hi everyone, I just got a text from him saying that he thought a lot about it yesterday evening, and that he thinks it would be useless to continue, as we were too different. (Something like: "I thought about this a lot yesterday evening, and I don't know about you but I don't think it would be useful to continue ... We're too different and the relationship will be going nowhere. What do you think?") I've had quite a few guys tell me this. There is nothing wrong w/you, just some super flakey dudes. Be extremely cautious about the ones who seemingly fall head over heels for you right away. Many times they fall hard then leave you in the cold w/your head spinning. He wasn't a serious guy to begin w/. Tell him goodbye and delete his number, don't try to prove it'll work out, I've done that before and it doesn't work.
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Posted February 19, 2019 I don't know that there's anything "wrong" with you, but from reading your post the thing that struck me is the way you described your experience. You described this guy the way one might describe an ex. You gave insights about his character and personality, but you'd only been on one date. I don't think it's possible for you to truly know any of these things about someone so early, regardless of how long you'd been talking online. "Kind" "Loving" "Caring"? After one date? I would say the emotional investment is too much too early. Maybe you are a passionate and compassionate person. That is lovely and the world needs more of that, but when it comes to early phase dating you gotta keep yourself in check. Otherwise you might be open to exploitation, and you will suffer more than you need to when things don't go the way you want. A disappointing end to a first date should not make you start to realize that something's wrong with you. There's probably nothing wrong with you. Keep working on you, keep dating, pick yourself up and move to the next guy, but be lighter about it. Don't jump to conclusions, don't dive too deep too soon, don't get too attached. Temper your vulnerability with maturity and patience. It'll take less of a toll on you. That's just my two cents. Thank you for giving me your opinion, I completely agree... I thought I knew him and I was wrong. I always tend to see the good in other people, and I was 99% sure that he was kind, loving and caring... Not only because he was nice to me, but also because I checked his FB profile and it seems that he had a great relationship with his ex that lasted 6 years. Then, I realised that it's easy to make everything look perfect on social media, and that the relationship probably wasn't all peaches-and-cream. I am very emotional, and working very hard on this. I always try to make people feel comfortable, and when someone is feeling blue, so do I. It's better now, but I am aware that I can get too easily attached. I can't help it... I'm 25 now, no longer a teenager but still acting like one and it drives me crazy.
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Posted February 19, 2019 I've had quite a few guys tell me this. There is nothing wrong w/you' date=' just some super flakey dudes. Be extremely cautious about the ones who seemingly fall head over heels for you right away. Many times they fall hard then leave you in the cold w/your head spinning. He wasn't a serious guy to begin w/. Tell him goodbye and delete his number, don't try to prove it'll work out, I've done that before and it doesn't work.[/quote'] I was a little bit surprised as well, at first... Wow, hold your horses! But the game was nice, and I fell for it. Would you mind telling me why it didn't work out when you tried to prove he was wrong? I know it is very personal, but I want to convince myself that it is a bad idea.
damni Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 Let's put this into perspective...you had ONE date with this guy. ONE and now you are psychoanalysing a man you barely know and stalking him on FB to look at his ex girlfriend. You do not know this man, you do not know if he was playing a game. You had one date and he decided he didn't want take it further. That is it. Dating is a number game, if you cannot handle that then take a break.
Author Frenchie22 Posted February 19, 2019 Author Posted February 19, 2019 Let's put this into perspective...you had ONE date with this guy. ONE and now you are psychoanalysing a man you barely know and stalking him on FB to look at his ex girlfriend. You do not know this man, you do not know if he was playing a game. You had one date and he decided he didn't want take it further. That is it. Dating is a number game, if you cannot handle that then take a break. One date that lasted several days, let's put this into perspective as well. I'm not psychoanalysing this man, I am just wondering why he's doing what he's doing. That's it. He took it way further, and now he decided otherwise. Not really consistent, though, so it does look like a game to me, yes. And I looked at his profile before. He added me and I wanted to know who I was dealing with before letting him come.
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