Edu-Chk Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 It started a year ago and I was his(Kevin's) boss. At the time I had a man but kevin was a good friend at work and started to be an even better friend outside of work. There was a lot of sexual tention between us, so even though I had a man, i did the unmentionable. I slept with Kevin. It was great. The best sexual experience of my life. I let him do whatever he wanted to do to me and I actually wanted him to do it. For the next two weeks all he talked about was the positions we were in that he had never experienced. Early on we both agreed that it would be totally a physical relationship and that neither would catch feeling. After all, I was a 23 yrs old who had a live-in boyfriend and he was a 19 yr. old at his Peak. I caught feelings though but never told him and did my best to make sure that i didn't. The second time we slept together was just as amazing as the first. Afterward we laid in bed for about 5 mins just looking at each other, and then he jumped up and left. WHY DID HE DO THAT? anyway, next day he told me that he didn't think that we should mess around anymore and that we should just be friends. I was totally confused. I told him that if i was just a mountain that he needed to climb and now that all interest is lost he should just tell me and not go into that whole friend speech. He said that I didn't understand and that did really want to be friends. So we were friends. FAST FORWARD, to a month later when my boyfriend sees my cell phone bill and finds out everything that happened. My home was in total chaos for about a month, until my man suggested that we get married and move to a different state. I loved him and had done him sooo wrong, I agreed. So that's what we did. But since moving I still keep in touch with Kevin by email. About 2 or 3 times a month we email talking about what goin on in our lives or to say what we'd do to each other if we ever hooked up again. He tells me all the time that I'm such a good friend and that I can count on him for anything. RECENTLY THOUGH THE "CEMENT" HIT THE FAN. I was goin to be going back home and I emailed to tell him that I wanted to see him, he emailed back and said that "if he wasn't too busy or have anything planed he'd try to get up with me" I was soooo hurt but I emailed back, "sorry sweetie, I know this is short notice and your busy, I'll just try to hook up with you on my next trip" LAST EMAIL, he says" stop playing you know i can't wait to see you. Ok so he wants me right? lol. I'm a week from heading down there and he sends me his aol username and we decide to have a chat. BIG MISTAKE!!! We started talkin about all the things we use to do together and to each other. I told him that I couldn't wait to get down to see him and be with him (if you know what i mean) he said that he didn't know if we should hook up like that. He said that it's crazy becuz he's never been with anyone the way he was with me. (that's the nice version) but that in the last few months he'd only been with one chick and didn't know if it would be right. I WAS SO HURT. and I told him. I also told him that I needed a minute with that and that I had to log off. Immediatly, He quickly typed in "NO DON'T GO". Before the night was over we were deep into discussion about why i got married, the moral issues with being with him, his girlfriend, and why we should just be friends. But he also kept talking about the great sex. The problem is that I love him and feel like I should have never gotten married, but I was cool as long as I knew that when I went home, I could see kevin and that we could always write. Does he really just want to be friends. If I went home would he be with me? Is he sending mixed emotions. Why did he decide to put an end to our sexual relationship? Please Help with some kind of insight.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Why did he decide to put an end to our sexual relationship? Because you are MARRIED. He is trying to do the right thing by cutting you off sexually, because its best for everyone involved in the long run. If you want to be with this guy - then divorce your husband and go for it. LET HIM GO if all you have in mind is your own sexual interests, and no intention to divorce. That isn't fair to anyone involved in this situation.
Copingsaw Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Does it not bother you that you are married? Are you unable to control your urges? What does being married mean to you? You should stop talking to Kevin and never see him again. Kevin is clearly torn but is trying to do the wright thing. I doubt he is interested in any serious relationship with you but if you feel you need to pursue him you should divorce your husband first. This seems to be more about sex than love.
Author Edu-Chk Posted September 19, 2005 Author Posted September 19, 2005 I'm not a monster, and I know that being married isn't something to be taken lightly. I should have mentioned that my husband and I have decided to divorce and both agree that getting married was a mistake. I'd already decided not to have any contact with Kevin, at least until after my divorce. Just to give me a little time and see how I feel then. But rejection still hurts and I just wanted some insight on how he really feels. Thanks for your advice and I look forward to more.
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