leighmc Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. We had only been together for about 4 months. The reason I broke up with him is because he had so my annoying things that he did that bothered me. After we broke up, he tried to get back together with me for a month and a half. He would constantly call me and send me text messages telling me he loved me and I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Then he finally asked me if there was any chance of us getting back together, and I said no. Then, the phone calls stopped and then I found myself with stronger feelings for him then I ever felt. I decided I would suprise him and went to his house. I went there with the intention to discuss us possibly getting back together. He wasn't there. His roomate told me he was out with his new girlfriend. I freaked out! I started doing the exact same thing he did to me, calling him and telling him how sorry i was for making such a big mistake. He tells me there is no chance of us getting back together. My question is what are these feelings i'm having? My friends say it's jealousy. It doesn't feel like jealousy to me. It feels like he broke my heart. I am so confused about my feelings because when I broke up with him, i was happy with the decision and had 1 1/2 months to get back with him and I didn't do it. But now he says its over and I can't handle it. I don't know how to get over this as I've never had problems moving on after a break up before. Also, i'm afraid I will never find anybody as caring and trustworthy as him. I feel like I made a big mistake. Please help!
Barby Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I have to say that it does appear to be a case of jealousy. He continued to try and salvage the relationship for a decent period of time....you weren't interested......or so you told him. I believe that you enjoyed the attention he gave you, the fact that he pursued you even after you dumped him gave you an ego boost. Once he saw that there for sure was not a future for the two of you, he did what he needed to do.......move on. Now he is happy and no longer pursuing you, you're lacking the attention/ego boost that his misery and missing you provided and seeking him out in order to get this. Ask yourself this, if you have these "strong" feelings for him, why did they only show up after you saw that you'd lost him to another girl?? Is it really him that you want or do you feel the need to "win"........(as some have a very competitive nature)....do you feel that you need to get him back in order to prove to yourself that he still wants/needs you? I don't know either of you obviously; but the relationship was a very short brief lived one........IMHO I agree the "jealousy theory". Take some real time to evaluate what you feel -vs- what you think/want. If you really do have these strong feelings for him and it isn't jealousy then I guess you should pursue him and explain to him why you wouldn't give him the time of day or even consider getting back together until you realized that you've probably lost him. If in fact you do convince him to give you another chance....make sure to cherish what you have, treat him well, and if you really do feel strongly for him...try working on not being so petty as to allow small annoying (in your words) things get you to the point that you're willing to end it with someone you claim to have strong feelings for...Since you're having to work so hard to get it back, if you do succeed hopefully you'll appreciate it more! Good luck!
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I think you're insulted that he has found someone else. I think you enjoyed the fact that some guy was pining after you and that's what you miss. I think you need to find someone else and move on.
cherrysoduh Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I think Barby hit the nail on the head. well said
Author leighmc Posted September 19, 2005 Author Posted September 19, 2005 Thank you Barby. It helps to hear it from somene who doesn't know us. I guess in a way I do miss him trying to get me back. I keep telling myself the small annoying things he did can't be changed and if we got back together the same things would still bother me. I'm going to try NC and maybe that will help me and him realize what we want. I just hope I can get over this because it kills me to think of him with someone else when he claimed to love me so much. Thanks again!
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