Fruitee Posted February 16, 2019 Posted February 16, 2019 So three years ago we were dating in LDR. It was kind of open relationship type of thing. But we had a rule of sex is ok but not dating or making promises or starting new relationship. For some reason he broke our rule and had sex and made promises and dated a tinder match he had met prior me. She found out about me but at that point I had already left him since he was not answering my calls nor texts since she was visiting him. So she contacted me and I found out about the cheating. Thats when we started NC. He told me I would always be "his". After our break up he also dumbed that OW. And moved to another country and went 100% into relationship, got married, had baby. But he moved away from her, apparently she was violent. Now he is moving back here "maybe" and texted me and is telling me how he learned his lessons, he never should have cheated on me, we should have stayed together and he settled with his ex wife. I am relatively succesfull now. And I think he is just after my money. I do not trust him. But it does feel good to talk to him. Since he is very wise and he always helped me with my struggles. I do not know what to think of all of this. I don't wanna get back with him since he cheated on me but at the same time I dont want to lose him. This probably makes no sense.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 16, 2019 Posted February 16, 2019 I am relatively succesfull now. And I think he is just after my money. I do not trust him. But it does feel good to talk to him. Since he is very wise and he always helped me with my struggles. I do not know what to think of all of this. I don't wanna get back with him since he cheated on me but at the same time I dont want to lose him. This probably makes no sense. You need to re-evaluate your definition of "wise." He seems very far from it, based on what you wrote in this thread. There's nothing to lose here, since he's been gone a long time anyway. He isn't yours to lose, and you should be thankful for that. Don't scrape the bottom of the barrel out of loneliness or some such thing. Forget him and aim higher with the men you allow into your life.
Redhead14 Posted February 16, 2019 Posted February 16, 2019 So three years ago we were dating in LDR. It was kind of open relationship type of thing. But we had a rule of sex is ok but not dating or making promises or starting new relationship. For some reason he broke our rule and had sex and made promises and dated a tinder match he had met prior me. She found out about me but at that point I had already left him since he was not answering my calls nor texts since she was visiting him. So she contacted me and I found out about the cheating. Thats when we started NC. He told me I would always be "his". After our break up he also dumbed that OW. And moved to another country and went 100% into relationship, got married, had baby. But he moved away from her, apparently she was violent. Now he is moving back here "maybe" and texted me and is telling me how he learned his lessons, he never should have cheated on me, we should have stayed together and he settled with his ex wife. I am relatively succesfull now. And I think he is just after my money. I do not trust him. But it does feel good to talk to him. Since he is very wise and he always helped me with my struggles. I do not know what to think of all of this. I don't wanna get back with him since he cheated on me but at the same time I dont want to lose him. This probably makes no sense. It doesn't matter if he is wise. What's important is that you are wise . . . why stick your hand in a flame that's burnt you before????
Mrs._December Posted February 16, 2019 Posted February 16, 2019 (edited) Now he is moving back here "maybe" and texted me and is telling me how he learned his lessons, he never should have cheated on me, we should have stayed together and he settled with his ex wife. So...Father of the Year is likely planning on deserting his kid and leaving him/her in another country just because he and his wife have split up? Is that the kind of guy you really want to hitch your wagon to? A lying cheater who screwed you over and one who deserts his own kid? You don't need this loser back in your life. He's sniffing around you because he needs a 'sponsor' to support him and provide him with a place to live when he comes back. Pfffft. Who needs it. Oh boy, where do you sign up for THAT? It's called a break-up because it's BROKEN. You know better. Edited February 16, 2019 by Mrs._December 2
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2019 Posted February 17, 2019 I think you should just block him and go NC for good.
hotpotato Posted February 17, 2019 Posted February 17, 2019 Eff him. I bet things didn't work out with the other chic, now he's crawling back. 1
Olivia_daviss Posted February 17, 2019 Posted February 17, 2019 Ditch him he isn't worth your time he cheated on you once he isn't worth it
mortensorchid Posted February 18, 2019 Posted February 18, 2019 No, just no. Move on. It's the past, you're done.
Author Fruitee Posted February 18, 2019 Author Posted February 18, 2019 Thank you all for your replys. I know he is not wise in that sense when you judge his life style choises. But he has something in him that resonates with me. What I mean is that he gets me and I get him. We just understand each other. And when ever I have problem or something he knows what to say to me or how to get me over it. If we had met 10 years ago it would be so different. He has messed his life up so badly. That I am not sure how he can deal with himself. I know he is trying to do whatever is right. I have now been thinking about this for over 3 weeks and he already showed me some of his old attitude even he told me he has changed so much. But I think I have changed more. I notice I have very little patience for his attitude and kinks. I dont have any bad feelings or resent towards him. What I have learned is that someone cheating on me doesnt determine my value. But it is not just the cheating that now worries me. I used to be in totally different life situation when dating someone like him did not change that much. In that part of my life he was perfect for me. But now. I dont know anymore. I have more doubts than trust. So I guess I got my answer.
david2 Posted February 22, 2019 Posted February 22, 2019 I suggest you don't take him back ever unless you’re sure he has decided to conduct a real relationship with you.
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