bathtub-row Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 Sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that there aren’t honest men out there. I’m talking about a man who’s having an affair, or is in some other situation where the truth will get him in a major pickle - 10 times out of 10, he’s going to lie. Because he’s already a liar and will continue to lie to protect his treasured position.
mark clemson Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 Sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that there aren’t honest men out there. I’m talking about a man who’s having an affair, or is in some other situation where the truth will get him in a major pickle - 10 times out of 10, he’s going to lie. Because he’s already a liar and will continue to lie to protect his treasured position. Agree I wouldn't expect much (if any) honesty in this situation. From what I've read at least, science apparently says we're all liars some of the time. And I'm no better obviously.
Author Savannah2 Posted March 29, 2019 Author Posted March 29, 2019 I’m just so hung up on why he would decide he’s done. I’m not entirely sure it’s someone else in the picture, I think I may be grasping at straws. And yes I know he’s done this push pull thing in the past but it’s never stuck and like a week later he was back. Now it’s like he’s really done.
stillafool Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 Yes it seems so. Accept it so you can move on.
Author Savannah2 Posted March 29, 2019 Author Posted March 29, 2019 I know a lot of the trouble I’m having with moving on is tied to my ego getting in the way and inability to accept rejection. It hurts to not be wanted by someone anymore. Even if that person is not good for me.
Naivewomen Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 Savannah, Ofcourse it hurts but in all honesty he only wanted you on his terms and when it was convenient for him. Do you really want to live your life waiting to be seen and valued by him. Your are single get out there and have some fun. You will hurt for a longtime but realize the pain will go away. When you meet your SO and watch the way you step treated and valued you will be upset at all this time pining over a man who is not worth it.
Amethyst68 Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 What relationship? I'm not sure this even counts as FWBs as you're clearly not benefiting from the arrangement.
Abetterme Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 Savannah - You avoid questions about where you are at with getting a counselor. You keep ruminating on the same obsessive thoughts “why doesn’t he want me, why did he decide if needed to end”. This isn’t healthy and is keeping you stuck. Take the step forward to find a counselor who can help you process these questions and understand why you have allowed yourself to be treated like this for so long. I hate that you are hurting, but am very concerned for you and the way you avoid the actual issues at hand - which are nothing to do with him! I know you will feel better if you do the work. 1
Aloha123 Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 In this situation, you had 2 choices. Cut the ties on your terms and maintain some sense of self-worth, or wait for him to cut the ties on his terms , because he has moved on, and then feel helpless and rejected. It seems as though you had many many years to do the former, but now you are unfortunately having to endure the reality of option #2. That being said, even though it will be more painful than option 1, it seems this will be the only way for things to truly end in your case, so it's still a blessing in disguise. 1
MissJenniferX Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 I am a Satanist and Atheist but it's complicated. I use demons and dark energies. I don't believe in karma or rules of three. He's just feeling GUILTY. He's GUILTY and he is blaming these normal every day misfortunes for his guilt. An affair isn't for him if he's feeling guilty. He doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to tell you it is over. That is Beta.
Naivewomen Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 I concur. He feels GUILTY!! It will be easier for him to run away from the guilt then to allow any positive emotions to see him through. He is done with this affair.
Author Savannah2 Posted April 1, 2019 Author Posted April 1, 2019 Yes he is done. I had to see him out last night with his wife at an event we had to attend. It was tough. They both looked so happy and lovey. He was touching her a lot and being affectionate. I’m glad that they are happy. I have to admit it does hurt though. But I guess that’s my karma.
BaileyB Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 Yes he is done. I had to see him out last night with his wife at an event we had to attend. It was tough. They both looked so happy and lovey. He was touching her a lot and being affectionate. I’m glad that they are happy. I have to admit it does hurt though. But I guess that’s my karma. Not karma as much as it is the consequence for a poor decision. It’s time to move on Savannah. Get yourself some counselling, and make a better life for yourself. Good luck. 1
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