flowergirl Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 OMG!!! I can't believe it!!!!! I'm getting married!!!! The guy I have been friends with and dated on occasion asked me to marry him and I said yes!!!!! I finally realized that this man, who's been in love with me for 8 years, is an adult, stable, and emotionally supportive. He works hard for a living and is entirely focused on me as opposed to any of his exes, or being a mama's boy. He has a great smile, and he's cool to be with. He's family-oriented and sensible, plus he's good looking. Y'all might be wondering how I went from crying over some little 20-something kid as to being engaged. This is gonna sound crazy, but within 90 minutes of a conversation with my ex, I had an ephiphany that the man that I was chasing DIDN'T WANT ME, and nothing I could do or say was gonna change that, yet the other man did and we had a long, long history so I grew up right then, and told him I'd stay with him. So there you go, with my little story.
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 The guy I have been friends with and dated on occasion asked me to marry him and I said yes!!!!! I finally realized that this man, who's been in love with me for 8 years, is an adult, stable, and emotionally supportive. He works hard for a living and is entirely focused on me as opposed to any of his exes, or being a mama's boy. He has a great smile, and he's cool to be with. He's family-oriented and sensible, plus he's good looking. . Congrats .. I think .. All that you have talked about and you never mentioned that you loved him .. Make sure you live a long engagment ( 6 months to a year ) before tying the knot..That way you will know if it is right or not.
Author flowergirl Posted September 19, 2005 Author Posted September 19, 2005 Yeah, you're right, I think that's always a good ideas for couples, to make absolutely sure that what's going on is right.
RecordProducer Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Excuse me, but it doesn't sound like you're marrying him for the right reasons. Him being great is not enough to marry him. You actually don't know how great he is. My ex-husband and I were friends for 6.5 years then dated for 4 months. I thought he was great and I was in love with him. And we didn't work out, we had problems right away that led to divorce. Being friends is quite different from being spouses. And nobody is perfect. He has many faults just like we all have. If you're not in love with him, his faults will piss you off more and more with time. In any case, you better start living together now for at least 6 months in order to see how things go. You sound like the male population has come down to two people - your ex and him. You don't marry the first guy that proposes you because your ex doesn't want you. If he were so great, he wouldn't propose to you without even dating you properly. He is trying to "catch" you before you know what's going on!
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 If he were so great, he wouldn't propose to you without even dating you properly Depends how close friends they were. If they were the sorts of friends who went out together but didn't called it 'dating', then there's no problem at all. In fact, people often get to know their friends much better than they do their dates. I don't know what happened in your case, RP, but friendship can be the best basis for a relationship. Again, depending on what sort of friends you are.
fundamental Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 the man that I was chasing DIDN'T WANT ME, and nothing I could do or say was gonna change that, yet the other man did and we had a long, long history so I grew up right then, and told him I'd stay with him. So there you go, with my little story. It seems as if you just want to be wanted and since your friend asked you to marry him, you feel wanted. Congrats to you. However, take things really slow because it seems like you are on one of those temporary highs that people grow through.
Author flowergirl Posted September 19, 2005 Author Posted September 19, 2005 I have decided not to get married anytime soon. I jumped the gun, I think because I was emotionally vulnerable, and that is one of the very worst reasons to get married. I'm keeping the door open for this guy, because I like him, but I need more time to make absolutely sure he's the one, before I make such a monumental decision. Thanks for the advice everyone.
hoppy28 Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 you really think you jumped the gun????!!!!!!! the divorce rate is high enough......we dont need to be making it any higher.
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I have decided not to get married anytime soon. I jumped the gun, I think because I was emotionally vulnerable, and that is one of the very worst reasons to get married. I'm keeping the door open for this guy, because I like him, but I need more time to make absolutely sure he's the one, before I make such a monumental decision. Thanks for the advice everyone. Nothing wrong with making important decisions with maturity .. That's using your head .. Good luck to you
RainyDayWoman Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 wow, everyone beat me to it...... glad you changed your mind, flowergirl. it didn't sound exactly right. give it time.
Author flowergirl Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 Yeah, yet another romantic disappointment, but that's the way it goes in this game of love. I realized that I actually do love the person that proposed to me, and I know he loves me, but we're not compatible, and no matter how many times we've tried over the years, nothing has been able to keep us together because of that incompatibility, and that hurts.
Barby Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Are you for real?? You realized all of this in only one day?? Troll????
RecordProducer Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 No, she is not a troll, it's happened to me. I had a lousy BF, I said "yes" to his proposal and changed my mind a few months later when i realized that he was a piece of trash. the worst part was I knew it all along, but tried to fool myself. We were apart when he proposed then as soon as we started living together again, I remembered all his faults.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 from 10:34am to 2:12pm does seem an awfully rapid mind switcheroo.... just a thought. months, one thing....hours...wellllllllllllllllll...
Outcast Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Not a troll, just not terribly sensible, I suspect.
Barby Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 I understand being broken hearted and swept up in a "whirl wind" romance... I just wasn't sure if she was serious or not!
RecordProducer Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 from 10:34am to 2:12pm does seem an awfully rapid mind switcheroo.... months, one thing....hours...QUOTE] I guess some people need less time to figure things out!
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