finalf72 Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 im afriad of eye contact... what the hell is wrong with me?
Jayhawks Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Shyness, Nervousness, Lack of Confidence, Paranoia, Anger, Anti-Social. Take your pick. Why do you think you don't like to make eye contact?
Jayhawks Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Then you need to make yourself LOOK at people when you talk and when you pass them by. You might even say hello as you increase your confidence. Shyness is a big social problem, especially for the shy person. You are hurting yourself and you obviously are not happy with the situation. You have to work at this problem or or will cripple you socially. Set goals for yourself and honor them. Tell yourself you will say hello to every person you pass and do it. Smile at people and be approachable and people will respond. Take baby steps with this and your confidence will increase with time. Is it mainly with the opposite sex you have a problem or with all people?
Pyro Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 im afriad of eye contact... what the hell is wrong with me? Jayhawks has made some good recommendations. I use to be overly shy myself. Besides what has already has been mentioned for ideas, enroll in a speech/ public speaking class.. It helped me out. Maybe it will for you.
elijahBailey Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 One of the tricks you can use if you can't look at the other person's eyes is to focus at the region in between the eyes. That person will never know and you'll feel more comfortable than actually lookin' into their eyes.
Cr0oked.Butterfli Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 A lot of my friends have this problem, and I make a lot of people nervous because I always talk directly to their eyes - I'm the other end of the spectrum, it makes me nervous if others have sunglasses on or aren't looking at me when I talk to them. Perhaps you're afraid of truly seeing that person - or letting that person truly see you...becuase I'm an old believer in the old cliche that your eyes are your windows to your soul. Maybe you should, as suggested before, look a little above their eyes...or try and look into the eyes of people you trust...your parents maybe? Or a close friend? And that may ween you into looking people directly in the eyes.
nosybear819 Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Perhaps you're afraid of truly seeing that person - or letting that person truly see you...becuase I'm an old believer in the old cliche that your eyes are your windows to your soul I don't make eye contact for this exact reason. I have "trust issues" and it usually takes a few months (sometimes longer) of me knowing someone before I can look that person in the eyes. Just long enough for me to feel comfortable or gain enough trust in that person. It actually makes some people uncomfortable tho'. Sometimes I make eye contact to make things seem more normal but I have to look away a lot. But at work or when I'm hanging out, during less intimate moments, I have no prob making eye contact.
Author finalf72 Posted September 19, 2005 Author Posted September 19, 2005 ok, ill try the advice of taking baby steps. but i wont look somewhere else on their face and hide from it. if i do that, id just be hiding from my problems, and the problems will always be there. same goes for u guys who look at wierd parts of the face to avoid contact, ur just hiding away from the fear. now i understand, eye contact is a fear for me, and the only way to conquer ur fears is to face it.
alphamale Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 some cultures or ethnicities are taught from an early age not to make direct eye contact or to minimize it. I know that many studies in the U.S. have shown that African-Americans and Asians living here tend to make less direct eye contact than others. If you are in one of these groups that may be part of the problem.
whichwayisup Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Try talking to yourself in the mirror. Make direct eye contact with your reflection. Yes, it sounds stupid but it will work. The more confident you feel, the easier it will be to make eye contact with others when you see people and talk to them. Don't let anybody make you feel insecure or inferior.
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 You have to realize that not meeting people's eyes makes them think you dishonest or worse. Besides, realize that if they're looking in your eyes they can't look at anything else
Nubemeister Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 I have a problem with that too and I know Im extremely shy.. Its bad...Id rather just be on my own than talk or just look at anyone. lol I know it's bad but its being worked on. I don't like looking into peoples eyes...for some off reason. I suck... But you can work on it by practcing...starting to take baby steps. Good luck!
Hotdiggitydammit Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 I will walk into a wall so then I look stupid and the other person is too embarrassed to look at you. It deflects the attention away from you to a less serious encounter. At the same time, you don't feel shy. Someone once said that I was smart about handling it that way.
Forever Searching Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 I can't make eye contact either with anyone at first until I am comfortable with them especially people I am dating. I think it's because I'm so afraid of getting close to people for fear of being hurt again. I don't know..
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