dizzymind Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 my ex gf broke up with me a few months ago, her anger level built up slowley over the past few months before our breakup. one by one things started annoying her. little things, like dishes in the sink. a wrinkle in the bed sheets. a speck of dust on the floor. it was like i started having to walk on egg shells. it seemed like nothing i could do would make her happy. she would ask something of me like to clean the house or shovel the walk. if i missed something she would loose her mind. this anger grew constantly over time. alot of gas lighting, arguements out of know where. and no matter what i said in the arguement, she would always find a way to make my final word or my defense a problem. i tried talking about our issues but she would always end up yelling and over powering me because she just wouldnt shut up. everytime id try to say something she would cut me off and belittle me. i tried begging her to go to a councellor , get help, anything but she wouldnt do it, she got advice from her girlfriends and she wouldnt talk to me about our issues but she would talk to them, and the more she did the more she came home resenting me. then she stopped coming home and one morning she dumped me after she blew up on me when she finally came home at like 8 in the morning. after drinking and partying. she has been different ever since. treating me very badly , she blames me 100 percent for the break up, saying its my fault and that i should have worked on myself and changed . shes invited me over to cuddle a few times, we even had sex, but i asked her about this today, and she cant give me any answers, even if i ask her about her life she says its non of my buisness. she just turned completley against me. and i dont know why i asked her to work on things and what not , but she just gets angry, i even tried to leave her alone and cut her out of my life. but she reels me back in , after her blow up episode i decided that im done , i cant be a door matt, and be dragged through the dirt any longer. i just want to know why some people change so much, we were so close, best of lovers and friends, ive analyzed this and my opinion is that she was either bored and felt trapped, while everyone around her was getting into new relationships in the honey moon stage, here she was stuck in her 8 year relationship. i just dont get why she has to put me down and make me seem like i was this awful persons, she calls me abusive, an *******, says im cheap , all this stuff, says im an awful parent, its like the exact opposite of what i am. and who i am. maybe shes trying to make me hate her so she doesnt feel so bad? if she does at all , but she sure hasnt shown it. now her and her single friends go party every weekend. how could she throw away everything, we have a family and kids too. and the gas lighting, man, its insane. today she just couldnt stop. and everytime i said "what am i doing wrong or what did i do" she would get even more mad."dont act stupid" this is why i dumped you. like wow. maybe the problem is im too nice to her, maybe i dont give her the drama she needs. im going to bed now night every one.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 She can't reel you back in without your participation, OP. That starts and ends with you, not her. It's not easy to resist someone you love and want to be with, I get that, but she can't mess with you if you don't let her. You say you were together 8 years and have children. What was the plan for the future? Meaning, did you two want to marry? Was she looking for more commitment, perhaps? Or, has she possibly met someone else and picked fights with you as a means of distancing herself emotionally and alleviating some guilt? How often was she out partying all night? 2
SevenCity Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 You have to stop allowing anyone, let alone a woman, treat you like this. She doesn’t respect you and therefore cannot love you. What you describe is that of an emotionally abusive relationship. Which you allowed. Get back your self respect and cut her out as much as you can having kids. Find a new woman who treats you with respect and don’t settle for less. 2
Marc878 Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 The real question is why would you accept the unacceptable treatment. It's very doormatish behavior on your part and will get you nothing
Author dizzymind Posted February 12, 2019 Author Posted February 12, 2019 She can't reel you back in without your participation, OP. That starts and ends with you, not her. It's not easy to resist someone you love and want to be with, I get that, but she can't mess with you if you don't let her. You say you were together 8 years and have children. What was the plan for the future? Meaning, did you two want to marry? Was she looking for more commitment, perhaps? Or, has she possibly met someone else and picked fights with you as a means of distancing herself emotionally and alleviating some guilt? How often was she out partying all night? its possible she met someone else, she left me for another man years ago. chances are she probably is seeing someone but wont admit it. she only partied that last 2 weeks of our relationship, before she dumped me. i did catch her texting with another guy. not sure if that was a relationship or a intended relationship that didnt happend for some reason, but i questioned her about him while we were still being close. she said he was just a friend. but then after when i questioned her, she would say aha **** him or stuff like that. so obviously she probably wanted something with him. but one thing forsure she completley changed towards me. she is angry , controlling , treats me like ****, expects me to meet her needs still instantly, the only reason why i dont think shes seeing someone else is because she till wants me to come over and come in and cuddle a few times, and sleep over, and she still has all our photos and stuff on the walls. but it doesnt mean shes not seeing someone. i cant really make sense of her behaviour , its like she is trying to start fights and get reactions out of me to be like" see you are a bad person" what ever the reason may be, shes no longer the girl who loved me to death, i am replaceable which is so messed up, and she acts like our relationship didnt ever mean anything, she kept yelling at me and saying see we never got along thats why i left you. but really she was the one making us not get along, she was the one pushing to fight. but i asked her if there was someone else or what not and she keeps saying no. maybe shes just a coward or the guilt of being exposed would ruin her ego, i really dont know. its pretty messed up though
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