krystal1 Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 He lives and works in NYC. I used to date him when I lived in NYC. I moved to NJ to my parent’s house to save money in November 2018. I work in NYC. He works in real estate. He texted me on 11/25/2018 to say a room opened up two blocks from his place. I am welcome to see it but the building doesn’t have gym. I texted him “I need gym in the building. I want my own studio but so expensive ”. He was at Hawaii at that time traveling. I asked him “When are you coming back?”. He said “Not sure when I’ll be back yet lol” A week later on 12/4/2018, I texted him “Are you back?”. He did not respond. He has been active on social media. He lost interest because I wasn’t willing to move closer to him. I am currently commuting hour and half everyday to work to save money. Living in NYC is too expensive. He does have a car. He parks it in another borough (Queens, NY). If he pick up his car and drive to NJ, it will take 3-4 hours. I work in NYC. I pass by one block from his place everyday on the way to work. It is actually very convenient for me if I can stay at his place once or twice per week and we can also hangout Friday - Sunday. Issue is he is not willing to date a girl in NJ. Living in NYC is a requirement. If I don’t move to NYC soon, he will just find another girl in NYC. NYC rent is $2000+. I have no money to save after I pay hefty rent. Even if I work for 5years, I will have no money saved. If I keep living in NJ, is there chance he might still text me?
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 Probably not. New Yorkers are a strange breed & they don't like the suburbs. He wouldn't text you if you lived on Long Island or CT either. He wants somebody right there in walking distance. NYers want everything instantly. Going broke just to date him sounds like a bad plan. Since he is in real estate & probably wants the commission he may text you if your dream apartment opens up: an affordable studio in an apartment with a gym. You do realize that is the holy grail of apartments right? It would only be more perfect if it was a 1BR with a doorman. 2
edgygirl Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 Can you move to Brooklyn? Not that it's that much cheaper, but you can probably find something kind of affordable if you look enough. And it's a much closer commute.
Highndry Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 I can't even comprehend that lifestyle. Sounds absolutely dreadful. 2
Author krystal1 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Posted February 12, 2019 I work from home once a week. I go to office four times a week. Moving to Brooklyn will not change anything. He lives in Midtown NYC 34th st and the place he recommended me to see was on 32nd st. He wanted me to be in his walking distance. He wants a girl very accessible.
PRW Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 He wants some easy "booty" in a near by apartment,...just not in his apartment, otherwise he would have invited you to move in with him.
Author krystal1 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Posted February 12, 2019 He lives with three roommates. It’s a share apartment. Each roommate has a room. I don’t think he can have me just live there without roommates’ consent.
PRW Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 He lives with three roommates. It’s a share apartment. Each roommate has a room. I don’t think he can have me just live there without roommates’ consent.Another reason I'm glad I don't live in NYC. I live in a 3 bedroom house with attached garage and a lawn, that I own and the payments are $400 a month with taxes and insurance included in the payment. And I don't have to share with anyone.
40somethingGuy Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 He lives and works in NYC. I used to date him when I lived in NYC. I moved to NJ to my parent’s house to save money in November 2018. I work in NYC. He works in real estate. He texted me on 11/25/2018 to say a room opened up two blocks from his place. I am welcome to see it but the building doesn’t have gym. I texted him “I need gym in the building. I want my own studio but so expensive ”. He was at Hawaii at that time traveling. I asked him “When are you coming back?”. He said “Not sure when I’ll be back yet lol” A week later on 12/4/2018, I texted him “Are you back?”. He did not respond. He has been active on social media. He lost interest because I wasn’t willing to move closer to him. I am currently commuting hour and half everyday to work to save money. Living in NYC is too expensive. He does have a car. He parks it in another borough (Queens, NY). If he pick up his car and drive to NJ, it will take 3-4 hours. I work in NYC. I pass by one block from his place everyday on the way to work. It is actually very convenient for me if I can stay at his place once or twice per week and we can also hangout Friday - Sunday. Issue is he is not willing to date a girl in NJ. Living in NYC is a requirement. If I don’t move to NYC soon, he will just find another girl in NYC. NYC rent is $2000+. I have no money to save after I pay hefty rent. Even if I work for 5years, I will have no money saved. If I keep living in NJ, is there chance he might still text me? Move in with him. You'd be close. Not sure if he has a gym but the two of you can still get plenty of exercise.
Wallysbears Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 It is a big city, you can find someone else. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 He wanted me to be in his walking distance. He wants a girl very accessible. Typical NYer. Lazy dater. Won't travel more then a few blocks. Seriously, if you lived in Brooklyn, the Upper West Side, the Flatiron District or SoHo he still wouldn't date you on the grounds that you are too far. You are better off without him. Find somebody on the train.
olivetree Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 Do not bend over backwards to upend your life/living situation for a man that basically ghosted you. 1
Author krystal1 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Posted February 12, 2019 He could say the samething about me. He’s thinking “Her interest level towards me is very little. I even found a place right by my place and asked her to take a look and she said no because of such a petty issue like no gym in the building. We can continue to see each other and also she can get to work in 20 min. But she said no. (I work in Wall Street area).”
Author krystal1 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Posted February 12, 2019 His apartment building does have a gym and I could have just used it for free. There are multiple gyms one block radius for $20 a month. But she said no. She may not be that interested in continuing to see me.
d0nnivain Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 He can't say the same about you. Him being too lazy to date you because you live too far away is very different from you not going into debt to live in a neighborhood you can't afford.
Author krystal1 Posted February 12, 2019 Author Posted February 12, 2019 I’m not going to be in debt. I just won’t be saving $1000-$2000 per month. My income is $3500 aftertax per month. Let’s say NYC rent is $2000. I still have $1500 to buy food and save the rest.
d0nnivain Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 Only you know if it's worth it Personally, I'd look in Hoboken, Weehawken, Union City or Jersey City & save but be closer.
Redhead14 Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 There isn't an amount of money or reason big enough that would make me move to NYC for a guy I "used to date" no matter what. "He lost interest because I wasn’t willing to move closer to him" Nah, I don't see it that way. He wasn't willing to move closer to you . . . so you should lose interest.
Kellens Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 I am a born and raised New Yorker and most people are not like this. Also, how is it a 3-4 hour commute by car from Queens to New Jersey? This is a strange story.. I live in Brooklyn and dated someone from Jersey, LI and Queens before, it's not that serious. If your story is real, the guy just sounds like a dbag, why would you even be interested in him? 1
Author krystal1 Posted February 13, 2019 Author Posted February 13, 2019 In November 2018 (it was Sunday 6pm or so), he called me and said he’s in NJ and can he come to my parent’s place. I said ok. He asked if he comes over can he have dinner and sleep over. I said I’ll ask my parents and they said the guy can come but he should leave after dinner. I told him that and he said alright and I ended up going to his place in NYC and going to work from there. Also, he took public transportation and bus to NYC stops at 10pm or so on Sundays so if he came that day, he will be stranded in NJ. A week after this is when he texted me say he found a room right by his place and asked me to come look at it and I said no. I’m saying he did try to make it work. But I’m not making it easy for him. We are both 32 years old. It’s time to move out of parent’s house.
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