jackman0612 Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 I have been official with a girl for almost 1 year. The thing is I find her much more attractive with makeup. I still love her without it, but whenever we go out, I want to show her off. I want people to look at her and be like 'damn, he's lucky'. I want her to put an effort to look good. I don't need her plastered, just a little something. Recently, I tried to hint at this on several occasions and I think she has since started to feel insecure and unloved. She kept questioning me if I still love her without makeup. Truth is that without makeup, my physical attraction to her falls significantly. But I still love the person she is and all the little things that she does. We got into a fight a few days ago because she told me I stopped showing affection and I don't love her without makeup. I got upset because I was trying to reassure her that it wasn't true and I still love her, but she kept shutting me off. She said maybe we needed a break because things didn't feel the same for her. In my head, one side keeps saying its best to let her go and find someone where attraction isn't an issue. But the other side keeps thinking that my gf is the most lovable person inside and that it would be a huge mistake to let go just because I don't find her natural looks attractive. She is the type to be super loyal and give more than she gets in return. I have asked several people for their opinion and have gotten many different feedbacks. I wonder what people on here think.
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 I think you are being shallow. It comes across as not about her as a person at all. It's all about you & what makes people envious of you. Let this woman have her dignity. Stay apart from her. She deserves better -- a guy who loves her for her. It's fine to want somebody to put their best foot forward but you have to get beyond focusing solely on superficial looks. 1
olivetree Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 She was right to let you go. She feels unloved by you when she isn't done up, and rightfully so. Let her find someone who is attracted to her natural beauty and you find someone that you are attracted to without makeup. Btw, the way you phrased it sounds like it's not just about not being attracted to her without makeup but more because you're insecure about how you're perceived when you're with her without much makeup. 3
TheFinalWord Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) Anytime you comment on a woman's looks, you might as well get ready for the breakup. You have to do these things more strategically. Now she knows you don't find her attractive in her natural state, and you'll never be able to put that back in the bag. If you want a trophy wife, you should make sure you see her without make up before getting into a relationship. Because now you are going to look shallow in her eyes. She also sees this as eventually you will ditch her when she gets older and loses her looks. Your love is conditional on her looking a certain way, when she expects it to be unconditional when you're in a committed relationship. Edited February 11, 2019 by TheFinalWord 1
Wallysbears Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 She's gone. You've basically told her that you don't find her attractive unless she's all done up in makeup. There really is no coming back from that one.
amaysngrace Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 You were insincere when she said you didn’t love her without makeup. You said here you aren’t attracted to her that way. The insincerity is way worse than your lack of attraction, and you can say what you’d like but your actions are what told her all she needs to know. Better luck in your next relationship. Maybe go for someone who doesn’t wear makeup so you’ll know you’re attracted to her face as much as you are attracted to her heart.
smackie9 Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 Let her be. I don't think you are shallow because us women tell our husbands "You are not going out in that!" lol. We all have our own expectations, and appreciate a partner that maintains their appearance. I'm old skool and I would never step out the door with out doing my hair and make up. You wouldn't see me in a pair of sweat pants ever. I like to look presentable. So that is the kind of GF you need to find...takes pride in her appearance the way you appreciate.
lurker74 Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 Yeah, you're incredibly shallow about the relationship. If too many people thought that she wasn't good enough looking, you would've broken up with her. She's right to have moved on. Put it this way...if she came on here and said "My boyfriend is embarrassed to be seen with me unless I'm wearing make-up," then 100% of us would be telling her to leave. Heck, maybe check the posts to see if she's already been here.
Amalyn Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 The best thing you could do is let her be with someone who finds her attractive inside AND out.
mortensorchid Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 First of all, there is no such thing as "being on break" with someone. This is not an episode of Friends, this is real life. Second, you were being very shallow to feel this way and to tell her this. She was right to drop you for this. Third, you're DONE. Move on.
Kelliousme Posted February 12, 2019 Posted February 12, 2019 Yup, you're REALLY shallow lol. Perhaps you think you love her, but I don't think you do at all. If you love her you wouldn't think she's not as attractive without make up. You wouldn't want her to put in effort to be at her "best" with make up on and all just to make YOU look good. Is she your girlfriend whom you love or is she just some kind of trophy. SMH. She's probably right that you don't show her as much love when she doesn't have make up on. That's terrible. She did the right thing by suggesting the break. Now you should do the right thing and let her go. Let her find happiness elsewhere. Let her find a man who will appreciate her and find her attractive with or without make up.
boymommy Posted February 13, 2019 Posted February 13, 2019 I read some of the responses and you are getting pretty beat up. I would say being a woman I completely understand your girlfriends feelings. My ex husband was very shallow and harped on me about my appearance constantly. Weight gain, weight loss, if I would change my hair, ect. I personally don’t think you can be less attracted to someone based on how they change their physical appearance. Its your issue, not her’s. Let her go. She deserves someone who loves her no matter what she looks like.
Fair Posted February 13, 2019 Posted February 13, 2019 I think you put your foot in your mouth. You hurt her feelings. Now she wants a break and you blew it. But it might be a good thing. You weren't completely accepting of her. You were looking around wanting other people to admire you for who you were with, and you weren't proud of her. She can do better than you and I'm glad she's already beginning to realize it.
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