AllisonC Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 My boyfriend and I have been dating close to a year. We live in an area where living costs are extremely high. I think it would be great if we got an apartment- we really enjoy being together. Also, it would be very cost effective. However, I don't want him to think this is a pressure into marriage- just another step in our relationship. How do I bring up the topic without scaring him away?
RecordProducer Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 So many women have a problem with getting their men marry them because they already live with them and the men get everything without the paper. So if you have plans to marry him, you better think about your decision twice. Perhaps you could wait until he asks you and then say that you're not willing to live with him for years if there are no any plans for marriage. In any case, back to your question, you can tell him that you are thinking about getting a cheaper apartment. If he suggests that you move in with him - good. But if he doesn't, it means he is comfortable living on his own. You shouldn't pressure him to this if he doesn't talk about it or if he doesn't talk about your future together. Another thing you can do is to avoid seeing him too often under the excuse that you're tired and need to get some good rest or you have friends coming over. He might be bothered by you being apart and suggest that you move in with him. However if he is okay with not seeing you so often, it means he enjoys his privacy (and respects yours) too much to share it with you on a daily basis. You could also tell him that you're thinking about moving in with a room mate in order to share costs. (Additional incentive for him could be if the room mate is a cute male! ) You might eventually really find a room mate to share costs if it's a real problem for you.
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