edgygirl Posted March 1, 2019 Posted March 1, 2019 My point was you might want to lower your “attractiveness” standards and go for girls who are a little less good looking than what you’ve originally wanted. (As in, they might grow on you). Being a good person is #1 requirement for most people. But instead of fighting how the world is, I think it’s smart to try to continue adapting and listening to people ideas here instead of dodging advice (someone pointed it out above and you do do it!) even if it hasn’t worked so far. Being frustrated at women and the world will not lead anywhere. Gosh this is frustrating. I’m not sure I have any more ideas. I do wish you find a sweetheart who will appreciate you ZA. But I do think I am a good person which seems to count for nothing when it comes to dating. I just wish the good things about me counted more.
Author ZA Dater Posted March 4, 2019 Author Posted March 4, 2019 My point was you might want to lower your “attractiveness” standards and go for girls who are a little less good looking than what you’ve originally wanted. (As in, they might grow on you). Being a good person is #1 requirement for most people. But instead of fighting how the world is, I think it’s smart to try to continue adapting and listening to people ideas here instead of dodging advice (someone pointed it out above and you do do it!) even if it hasn’t worked so far. Being frustrated at women and the world will not lead anywhere. Gosh this is frustrating. I’m not sure I have any more ideas. I do wish you find a sweetheart who will appreciate you ZA. That idea doesn't really appeal to me because I don't believe anyone really grows on you. Its like eating something half cooked and hoping the more you eat the better it will taste. There is one idea I can look at and an assumption, that most ladies on Tinder want to hook up and go with the mind set. For example I am chatting with a blond German lady, she is here for a week. Why would someone in that situation use Tinder for anything else? This isn't the ideal situation but consistently I find tourists far more interesting that locals. They have somewhat more liberal minds and at least they can talk and converse, whereas locals tend to be so closed off. One thing I am tempted to see is if I fare any better out of SA, maybe a holiday is in order. I have resisted that idea because ultimately its a bit false, say one finds someone one likes then what? The Swedish lady comes to mind.
Normm Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 That idea doesn't really appeal to me because I don't believe No ideas appeal to you for whatever random reasons and justifications you invent to continue your strategy of doing nothing but complain because nobody you like interests you and it's not fair that you have to try so hard while nobody else has to. That's old news. 3
edgygirl Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 I agree with Normm... And don’t assume re: German lady. One of my best gf is German and she is looking for a serious relationship and does use apps when traveling. I told her: you never know - maybe the love of your life is in another country.
Author ZA Dater Posted March 4, 2019 Author Posted March 4, 2019 I agree with Normm... And don’t assume re: German lady. One of my best gf is German and she is looking for a serious relationship and does use apps when traveling. I told her: you never know - maybe the love of your life is in another country. I have actually gone back to the drawing board so to speak and actually I believe the bold is but a something I wont find so I might as well find something I can reasonably find. Hence me adopting a different strategy which goes along the lines of just try anything reasonable. More than that I don't actually believe for me that relationship love actually exists, if I can have a few decent times with someone and never see them again so be it, be it dinner, a conversation, I don't really gain much but at least I gain the experience. Maybe my too calculated approach doesn't work. For the change I have perhaps 3 reasonable matches on Tinder, none really meet my criteria, I'd never be able to bring any of them into my world and life but maybe they'd make decent friends, no, from now on I intend to keep dating at arms length, much like one does a business transaction, being disappointed accomplished nothing. Maybe I need to care a lot less, direct my cynicism another way. At the end of the day maybe I need to care a whole lot less about the entire so called system and find a way to work that system to my advantage, be in a dinner, coffee or lunch. Inherently I have a significant weakness in that few people are going to impress me because those that have, they have set the bar very high so average is never going to do it, which I guess is ok, one date with someone who does wow is better than 20 average dates. Sure, I can BS as well as the next guy but I always thought dating called for honest, maybe I am wrong, maybe its just some elaborate half baked sales scheme and most ladies buy into this hook line and sinker. If all else fails I can just wonder how good it would be and the amazing thing about that is I can make it whatever I want it to be.
Author ZA Dater Posted March 4, 2019 Author Posted March 4, 2019 No ideas appeal to you for whatever random reasons and justifications you invent to continue your strategy of doing nothing but complain because nobody you like interests you and it's not fair that you have to try so hard while nobody else has to. That's old news. Some expend zero effort but I guess that says about as much about them as it does about the ladies who date such people. For all my lack of dating some of the people I have encountered have been exceptional and their insight has been really good. I think had I not met these people I'd have found some of these dates more impressive but what has been seen cant be unseen.
Normm Posted March 4, 2019 Posted March 4, 2019 ZA your reply to my post (that you quoted) has absolutely nothing to do with what I posted. Sounds like I'm corresponding with a bot. 3
Grey40 Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 What makes a women impressive to you? You’re not giving women more than one date to impress you? A lot of women are nervous as hell on a first date and you need to see them when they’re more comfortable around you.
basil67 Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 That idea doesn't really appeal to me because I don't believe anyone really grows on you. Its like eating something half cooked and hoping the more you eat the better it will taste. Or it could be like any number of foods which are an acquired taste. At first it seems weird, but after a few tries you discover that the taste is amazing.
Author ZA Dater Posted March 5, 2019 Author Posted March 5, 2019 What makes a women impressive to you? You’re not giving women more than one date to impress you? A lot of women are nervous as hell on a first date and you need to see them when they’re more comfortable around you. See on this I am simply dishing out the same treatment which is dished out to me, why should I give people more of a chance if I am not given more of a chance. I get thrown aside after one date so what is wrong with me doing the same? Impressive is someone who speaks well, has some knowledge, is capable of debate, confident, assertive, driven. All impressive qualities and mostly you an tell quickly of the person has them or does not.
chillii Posted March 5, 2019 Posted March 5, 2019 So that sounds like some big on career or well educated type , so what's the problem with that there's plenty of well educated women around. lf your not meeting those then you must be looking in all the wrong ways and places. And what happens if you meet someone you really like and she wants to stick around , your not gonna throw her back after one date are ya ?
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