angry mum Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 I have a five year old son who is very good friends with another boy from his class. His mother and I made friends too but recently she sent me a text telling me she can't allow her son to be hit anymore and that she is encouraging her son to play with other children. I was very hurt by this as I felt she was implying that my son was hitting her son on purpose. They play quite roughly in the yard at lunchtime and I am not under any illusions that my son gets quite over-excited when playing and often goes too close and does end up hitting the other child but he certainly does not do it deliberately or maliciously. I really don't know what to do now! And it's funny because I always thought the other boy was a bad influence on my son because he used to tell him to hit people (his little brother and my son's little brother) and my son used to do everything he told him because he worshipped him. Now it seems it's turned around and i'm furious. I have been trying to get my son to play with other children for a long time but he seems to get on very well with this one boy. But now that I have been 'told' to find other friends for my son I feel like going against her wishes completely. I am so angry!! Some people have told me I should mention it to the teacher. Please give me some advice!!
Moose Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Don't do anything. Leave it be. This mother needs to realize that this is a very important part of her child's social development. She can't tell you to tell your son to find other friends. That's ridiculous. I say leave it be and let them grow up. In other words, go against her wishes. It's no big deal.
angry mum Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Unfortunately it wasn't that easy. Apparently she has already talked to her son about it and today my son told me he played on his own at lunchtime. I feel terrible. I talked to his teacher after school and she said that he was a little rough last week but that other than that he is very good in class and helps a lot. I'm afraid this will hurt him a lot because I see it in his face already. He tries to be brave (he hates showing his feelings) and says he doesn't mind playing on his own. I mean, it's not as if he's bullying anyone. I just want to slap this mom. I really hope she's not telling other parents that he hits her child because it sounds like the kind of thing she would do. I dunno I'm just so angry. I saw her today organising play dates with other mums. To be honest it really never bothered me before but now when she's admitted it's to get he kid away from mine it makes me furious!! Sorry, I am ranting a bit. I guess everyone's protective of their kids but my husband says boys hurt each other all the time when they're playing and as long as it isn't deliberate there's nothing to worry about.
Moose Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Well, your husband is right. Shoot, around here, fathers expect their sons to be rough. I don't know what her problem is, but the saying, "boys will be boys", didn't just appear from nowhere.
sweetbrokensoul Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Hey angry mum- I have a 6 yr old boy and I know that I am not particularly fond of some of his favorite friends either. But I was given some good advice that I think might help. You really honestly cant choose your kids friends, if they really want to play or hang out with certain kids they will(meaning the other child).BUT YOU CAN TEACH THEM RIGHT FROM WRONG. so tell your child that if that boy doesnt want to play with him that its ok, and he will find other children to play with. In other words, now that you think about it, maybe this other child was displaying types of behaviour you didn't want your child around in the 1st place. How do you know he wasn't rough because of this child? So as long as he knows whats right from wrong, your child will make the right choices and he will know that what he does and who he plays with are 2 different things. Your child will know better in the end the choices he wants to make and therefore, the type of children he will want to be with. Hang in there and you know what-some parents are just like that because they have nothing better to do with their lives but cause drama with their kids and other parents like a freakin soap opera. Your more mature than them so dont let it bother you.
Elmo Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 I have a five year old son who is very good friends with another boy from his class. His mother and I made friends too but recently she sent me a text telling me she can't allow her son to be hit anymore and that she is encouraging her son to play with other children. I was very hurt by this as I felt she was implying that my son was hitting her son on purpose. They play quite roughly in the yard at lunchtime and I am not under any illusions that my son gets quite over-excited when playing and often goes too close and does end up hitting the other child but he certainly does not do it deliberately or maliciously. I really don't know what to do now! And it's funny because I always thought the other boy was a bad influence on my son because he used to tell him to hit people (his little brother and my son's little brother) and my son used to do everything he told him because he worshipped him. Now it seems it's turned around and i'm furious. I have been trying to get my son to play with other children for a long time but he seems to get on very well with this one boy. But now that I have been 'told' to find other friends for my son I feel like going against her wishes completely. I am so angry!! Some people have told me I should mention it to the teacher. Please give me some advice!! You seem to think that hitting the other kid "on purpose" is the point. It's not. The point is he HITS people. Also, if your child hits other kids, they (and their mothers) will withdraw. It is a lesson to learn. Be rude...people don't want to associate with you. Why do you want to shelter him from this? He will grow to be a social outcast unless he learns these lessons. Seems you are taking the withdrawl of the other Mom's attention personally.
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