Does he just see me as his friends?

[Ash2804]

We have been friends for a long time, I mean I knew him when we used to go to school together, now he has moved to another city which is 3 hours away so I don’t get to see him that often.

We used to flirt and stuff but weren’t officially seeing each other

I felt like he came to me when he wanted to talk, but when I wanted to, he was never there.

We’re still talking every now and then. Sometimes he makes it seem like he’s into me, sometimes he acts like he doesn’t have any interest.

He’s been going to gym lately, and been sending me pictures of himself (clean pics), and asking what I think, does he need to gain more weights or stay this way, etc.

And I thought that we aren’t going to be anything if both don’t make any moves, because things been really confusing and I just wanted to clear it off. If he doesn’t like me it’s fine I’d back off and just be his friends and respect that.

So today he messaged me again, and we were just talking, then he said “oh are you hanging out with Pete now? Lol” and I was like how did he know that and Pete is my friend’s crush, I was helping her to test and see what he really thinks of her or if he likes her, it wasn’t like any hookup. Pete definitely doesn’t have any interest in me!

Then he said “oh so is it not possible to meet you now because you have someone??”

And I got really confused like what did he even mean by that, so i asked him “what do you mean its not possible to meet me?”

And he just said “just saying”

So I went and asked him “do you see me as your friends? Or something else”

And he said “yes I see you as my friends”

 

I was kinda upset then, if he sees me as a friend, maybe he was afraid that if Pete was really my bf then he doesn’t want to get involved and get any misunderstanding?

Or he means something else? I mean he sounds pretty clear when he said I’m just a friend but I’m still confused.

So please help me

[smackie9]

You should have said "Well that's too bad because I see you more than just friends." And left it at that. Have some ballz girl.

[Lotsgoingon]

I think he likes you and wanted to ask you out ... but he didn't have the courage and confidence to directly do so ... He was all into playing things safe by asking if you had a bf ...

 

And you sound like you wanted him to ask you out ... but you kept playing it safe by asking all these questions ... instead of just telling him, "No, I'm not seeing anyone right now." ... You could have added. "If someone wants to ask me out, they should do so."

 

That way you would have made things clear to him that you are fine with being asked out ... and yet you're not committing to anything ...

 

Instead, you guys got lost in a foolish circle of hiding your intentions.

 

Challenge to you ... Send him a note ... saying, "I'm not sure I answered your questions well the other night. I'll just say I'm not dating anyone right now. And if someone wants to ask me out, they should do so."

 

And then let him respond. If he hides again, simply repeat, "If someone wants to ask me out, they should do so. That's the only way they'll get an answer."

 

This way you'll be encouraging him to step up ... and well ... this guy apparently needs some encouragement.

[preraph]

Well, she did ask him and he said "just friends," so one of them, yes, needs to get some balls, but not sure it's her.

 

Sounds to me like this guy would make a poor bf anyway. He leans on you but isn't there for you in return. He seeks validation from you. Has this guy even ever had a girlfriend?

[d0nnivain]

I don't think he has romantic feelings for you. You have been friends for a long time. He lives far away. You gave him an opening to express interest & he picked friends only.

[smackie9]

It's possible he doesn't want to be rejected so he thought he picked the right answer. Some guys feel if they express their feelings, they will lose the friendship. Many threads on that.

I guess it's up to you to do nothing or something.