mortensorchid Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Well this is a new one. I was chatting with this guy on a dating website this evening. Just "Hi how are you" type stuff and the basics (What do you do? What's your favorite food? etc.). And then quite suddenly, he shut it down. He wrote in his next message to me "I'm sorry but I have gone over your profile and you seem to be a very conservative person and I am not going to take this any further. Go ahead an cut me to shreds like all conservative women do." I'm not sure what he meant by that. As in right wing conservative or conservative like a modest person? My profile doesn't have too much information about me on it wordwise, because I don't think people really read the words they just look at pictures. Maybe that's what he meant. I certainly didn't put on my profile that I am a right or left wing person, after giving it another glance I am sure of that. I don't even know if it's an option to do so. But, unlike most conservative women, I simply blocked him and walked away. Talk about ignorant and having no class.
elaine567 Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 "I'm sorry but I have gone over your profile and you seem to be a very conservative person and I am not going to take this any further. Go ahead an cut me to shreds like all conservative women do." Oh dear! Someone obviously hurt him a lot...
healing light Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 That is just odd. You did the right thing. His attitude sounds like a red flag. 1
Interstellar Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Maybe he doesn’t like Hillary or something. Bye-byeiii 1
RecentChange Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Curious - do you identify as modest or politically right person? Or is his categorizing of you as such totally off base? Honestly, I could see immediately nexting someone if I felt we were on politically opposite poles. Or if culturally it seemed like we were a miss match. 4
greymatter Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 How is he "ignorant and low class" for being honest and telling you why he doesn't want to take it further? I've picked up from your posts here that you are conservative and there are things that you say that come across with a certain tone that may be off-putting to those with opposing values. Given that it wouldn't surprise me if what you've written in a dating profile communicates which way you lean, politically/generally. It's a good thing - you two are clearly not a match and he didn't waste your time. 7
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I'm guessing you don't have a lot of cleavage and/or bikini shots on your profile. That is probably what he wants since you didn't make mention of your political views. He's looking for someone more "willing." You did the right thing. Good riddance.
elaine567 Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Maybe you need to take that pic of you with the MAGA hat on, off your profile... 4
edgygirl Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Sounds to me like political views. I also only date people who have political views close to mine, or at least centrists. But I state it clearly in my profile so I never get MAGA fans. I believe it’s a mistake to not write much on bios. I am super clear about myself and what I want and I think I do get the right matches because of that. As opposed to what people think, men do read profiles. 2
MajesticUnicorn Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Maybe he meant conservative in regards to your photo choices?
Ruby Slippers Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 He sounds a little crazy, definitely rude. You dodged a bullet. 3
Author mortensorchid Posted February 7, 2019 Author Posted February 7, 2019 Curious - do you identify as modest or politically right person? Or is his categorizing of you as such totally off base? Honestly, I could see immediately nexting someone if I felt we were on politically opposite poles. Or if culturally it seemed like we were a miss match. Culturally or politically opposite poles? We didn't even know each others' last names. And no I do not have pictures of me in a bikini or cleavage photos as others have suggested. But still, it's bad. Probably for the best this didn't pan out. 1
greymatter Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 When I was OLD before I met my BF, I made it super clear that I'm very left leaning and would only date the same. I agree that men really do read dating profiles. The men who messaged me asked me questions or made comments about things I wrote in my profile and related to some of it or wanted to know more. 1
Malin889 Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I think he was just looking for an excuse not to talk to you, and he found it. 1
Rayce Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I am sorry that happened to you. He sounds a little narrow minded for not being a conservative. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I am sorry that happened to you. He sounds a little narrow minded for not being a conservative. Haha, good point! 1
Versacehottie Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 How is he "ignorant and low class" for being honest and telling you why he doesn't want to take it further? I've picked up from your posts here that you are conservative and there are things that you say that come across with a certain tone that may be off-putting to those with opposing values. Given that it wouldn't surprise me if what you've written in a dating profile communicates which way you lean, politically/generally. It's a good thing - you two are clearly not a match and he didn't waste your time. I totally agree. I also think the guy could have been referring to OP being rigid or set in her ways. I think that is very obvious to people who have paid attention to her posts for a while. Needless to say how is him deciding you aren't for him make him a jerk--yet if you were to have done the same thing to a guy it doesn't make you a jerk? Neither is--they just discover things along the way (some sooner than later) that make OP not a match for him. OP, since you seem to be documenting your dating journey maybe you would find the feedback more helpful/accurate if you add onto the threads you start rather than start new ones each time. So far the main theme in most of them has been your personal journey not really anything specific to 30 different guys you have dated (which would probably necessitate 30 different threads). The tone and theme are fairly consistent and if you want accurate feedback that's probably what you should do. Anyway, continued luck. 6
bathtub-row Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I think he was talking about being conservative politically. The truth is, I wouldn't date someone who was a liberal or who leaned to the left. We would clash really badly. But it's only because of the upheaval from the past few years that has caused me to think that way. Before, I rarely thought about it but people are too radical these days. I think he's a liberal and realized you are not. Not sure if that's true or not -- that's just my take on it. 3
greymatter Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I think he was talking about being conservative politically. The truth is, I wouldn't date someone who was a liberal or who leaned to the left. We would clash really badly. But it's only because of the upheaval from the past few years that has caused me to think that way. Before, I rarely thought about it but people are too radical these days. I think he's a liberal and realized you are not. Not sure if that's true or not -- that's just my take on it. And it would be a normal dating communication practice for you to let a guy know, when you realized that he leans to the left, that you aren't interested (and why). That wouldn't make you ignorant or classless, as Morten suggests. 2
bathtub-row Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 And it would be a normal dating communication practice for you to let a guy know, when you realized that he leans to the left, that you aren't interested (and why). That wouldn't make you ignorant or classless, as Morten suggests. True. I don’t think he’s a moron unless he had absolutely no basis for drawing that conclusion. He was just cutting off something that had nowhere to go. 1
chillii Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Yeah don't know much about the politics there but l think he was just talking about you as a person. And yeah he could easily tell if you were conservative from even just a few pics and a couple of lines on your page, your voice and a few lines over the phone even email would probably just confirm it. But anyway , so he doesn't like conservative, forget about it.
Highndry Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I think he was talking about being conservative politically. The truth is, I wouldn't date someone who was a liberal or who leaned to the left. We would clash really badly. But it's only because of the upheaval from the past few years that has caused me to think that way. Before, I rarely thought about it but people are too radical these days. I think he's a liberal and realized you are not. Not sure if that's true or not -- that's just my take on it. I am running into more and more people each day who share the same sentiments as you. That being said, I'll date a conservative or liberal woman - I'm not going to let political affiliation get in the way of life. But if they're an extremist from either party - NOT INTERESTED. 3
Happy Lemming Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I'll date a conservative or liberal woman - I'm not going to let political affiliation get in the way of life. I'd like to agree with you, as I do the same thing. In the end, you get one vote every four years (major election) / two years (minor election). After you vote, they do what they want anyway and never keep their campaign promises, so why get upset about party affiliation. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted February 7, 2019 Author Posted February 7, 2019 Am I a conservative person? Yes I am. Because I learned the hard way that if you are flamboyant you get chewed out and beaten up by others. You don't believe me? Try it yourself. But I digress on the how and why I became a conservative person. This guy was either looking for an excuse not to talk to me anymore, or he was basing this on my profile information. I had someone shut it down because I sent him a photo of me wearing a winter coat in it telling me I must not be comfortable with my body. That's foolish - there have been times people have showed up to internet dates where one party lied about their photos completely - they actually weigh a lot more than they said they do - or they were catfishing (a man pretending to be a woman). How did he know that I wasn't false advertising in that area?
edgygirl Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 It’s not about one vote. Political leanings translate how you see the world, yourself, people around you, society, those who are less fortunate than you, life and whatnot. A small example: I can’t be with someone who thinks poor people should drop dead and have no health insurance because they are not successful professionally. That says a lot about someone’s character IMHO. I'd like to agree with you, as I do the same thing. In the end, you get one vote every four years (major election) / two years (minor election). After you vote, they do what they want anyway and never keep their campaign promises, so why get upset about party affiliation. 9
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