Smithboy Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 First post - seeking advice here because I have no one to talk to who doesnt have a vested interest in these situations. Cutting the story short, spark went out of my 10 year marriage - 19 together, from late-teen sweethearts - some time ago. Two kids, not much sex or physical intimacy came along, they are now 7. We are companions, more than husband and wife. She has mentioned this half-jokingly, but we both deep down know its true. I care for her, but am no longer in love with her. I can see she is still attractive, but I dont feel it. 3 or 4 years ago I started a thing with a woman at work who was unhappily married. She left her husband and set herself up, being braver than i ever could have seen myself be. She admitted she loved me but I couldnt leave my children etc. Quite naturally, without me being able to commit she found another guy at Xmas. I pretended to be okay initially but was fairly tortured and admitted I loved her. We got a lot of our chest through text which helped me at first but now I am very unhappy. We have chatted/text in work but I am tortured seeing her and hearing about her new relationship, even though now I know she has moved on. This is of course exacerbated by my unhappiness at home. For the first time I have squared it with myself that I could live under a different house to my kids. My plan, if have one, would be to leave in the kindest way possible, be a full time Dad and hurt my wife as little as possible. She deserves someone who can give her so much more. I know there will be judging here, totally expect that but.I am here to air this and get advice.
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 There is no way out of this that won't cause pain & be messy. Rip the bandaid off quickly & soon. Be generous to your kids & polite to your EX.
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