Tagalz Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 (edited) Hey! There is a meetup this sunday where the host has invited us to watch a movie. Yes it's from the app I'm talking about I have not been on any meetups before so I would like to hear some advice or any experiences that you may have. I'm looking to meet new people but what I want the most is a date. I remember I was at a gaming event last week and there was a meetup going on and they played cards. They spoke mostly English and was not talking very much as I have noticed when chilling at the couch taking a break from gaming. What I got from it was that meet-ups are awkward. So let's say I attend a meetup and I meet a girl that I get along well. I get her snapchat or phone number AFTER I attend the meet-ups a couple of times. And then I start to go from there, but the question is.... is she really looking for a date or just to hang out? Come with you experience and advice! It's going to be my first time and I don't know how to act and what to say... Edited February 6, 2019 by Tagalz
alphamale Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 you ask for her contact info after talking to her for 30 minutes to 1 hour 1
smackie9 Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 I thought that is what most hope for is to find someone to date at these things. Maybe not a gaming meetup, but a movie one makes more sense. I say it all depends on the venue, say like wine tasting. At a wine tasting you are going to find mostly tipsy women with their girlies. Chances are their isn't going to be awkwardness there. 1
alphamale Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 the nerd-factor at some meetups is pretty high. the dining groups are good for meeting single chicks 2
smackie9 Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Ya I walked into a gaming store right in the middle of their D&D competition...there was not one girl there lol. 1
olivetree Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 the nerd-factor at some meetups is pretty high. Lol. True. Especially for co-ed socially-focused ones. 1
clia Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 You can't judge all meetups based on one, even within the same group. Meetups are highly dependent on who shows up that night, how many show up, the activity involved, the vibe, etc. I've been to a number of really fun meetup events. Maybe the meetup you saw was intended to just be a chill night of cards. As far as dating, it depends and you really have to be careful. You don't want to be the creepy guy that is hitting on everyone at every meetup he attends. Some of the organizers are really watchful of this and will boot you out. But, if you meet someone and hit it off, there is no harm in asking for her number. However, bear in mind that if she says no, you may see her again at other meetups so it may be awkward. You might be better off for doing this at the "singles" meetups, but of course you can do it at others as well. Read the room, though. If it just seems friendly and chill, it might not be the best event to be hitting on people. It also will be helpful to you to become more of a "regular" at the events and to get to know people on a longer term basis before you jump in and start asking for numbers. All of that said, I met my husband at a meetup, so it can definitely work! 3
alphamale Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 You can't judge all meetups based on one, even within the same group. Meetups are highly dependent on who shows up that night, how many show up, the activity involved, the vibe, etc. I've been to a number of really fun meetup events. Maybe the meetup you saw was intended to just be a chill night of cards. As far as dating, it depends and you really have to be careful. You don't want to be the creepy guy that is hitting on everyone at every meetup he attends. Some of the organizers are really watchful of this and will boot you out. But, if you meet someone and hit it off, there is no harm in asking for her number. However, bear in mind that if she says no, you may see her again at other meetups so it may be awkward. You might be better off for doing this at the "singles" meetups, but of course you can do it at others as well. Read the room, though. If it just seems friendly and chill, it might not be the best event to be hitting on people. It also will be helpful to you to become more of a "regular" at the events and to get to know people on a longer term basis before you jump in and start asking for numbers. All of that said, I met my husband at a meetup, so it can definitely work! I've run meetups in Detroit and Chicago for 10 years. The above is very accurate
Gretchen12 Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 You can date anyone anywhere. Why do you even wonder if she's looking to date? Just ask out any girl you want, then you get yes or no. You can always ask politely, in a matter of fact way, no harm done, just don't stare. 1
Author Tagalz Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 You might be better off for doing this at the "singles" meetups, but of course you can do it at others as well. Read the room, though. If it just seems friendly and chill, it might not be the best event to be hitting on people. It also will be helpful to you to become more of a "regular" at the events and to get to know people on a longer term basis before you jump in and start asking for numbers. All of that said, I met my husband at a meetup, so it can definitely work! As in singles meetup you mean at the bar? Cause there is one meetup on friday at a bar. Sadly I'm working late so I can't attend. other than that I got the answer I was looking for thanks to you! I appreciate it
Author Tagalz Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 you ask for her contact info after talking to her for 30 minutes to 1 hour Always direct huh Alpha male I could try but I think I stick with attending the same meet-ups a couple of times just to get to know everybody. If I'm done with that then I go back to the girl that I feel I had the most connection with 1
Author Tagalz Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 Lol. True. Especially for co-ed socially-focused ones. Well that could be a good thing! Only if we both have high interest in that game or topic because then we would have a conversation for a long time.
PRW Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 (edited) There are all kinds of meetup groups. Meetup.com is just a platform, they don't "run" the individual groups. Some groups are even exclusively "Singles". Almost all of my dates the last few years have come from meetups. But you have to be very careful when dating them so that if you stop dating you can still attend meetups without having uncomfortable awkwardness. Unfortunately there are a lot of women that stop going to meetups because there is some guy attending that makes them uncomfortable. Don't be one of THOSE guys. Edited February 6, 2019 by PRW
Gretchen12 Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Best way is not to try to get phone numbers. You attend a few times and if you got to chat with someone you like, then at the end of the meetup, ask her if she wants to go grab a cup of coffee or a drink. That's the smoothest. If she can't, and she's keen, she'll try to do it another time.
alphamale Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Always direct huh Alpha male I could try but I think I stick with attending the same meet-ups a couple of times just to get to know everybody. If I'm done with that then I go back to the girl that I feel I had the most connection with decent girls are cherry-picked pretty quickly, don't wait too long
clia Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 As in singles meetup you mean at the bar? Cause there is one meetup on friday at a bar. Sadly I'm working late so I can't attend. I mean meetup groups that are expressly for "singles." Usually it's in the title of the group.
PRW Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 (edited) Here are the common dynamics to a Singles labeled meetup group. They are magnets for creepy guys and beta male orbiters and a lot of them will be there. It is kind of the in-person version of Online Dating sites in that respect. The women will consist of a small number of hot chicks that may or may not care about meeting guys because they don't need a meetup group to meet guys. They just want to go out and have a good time with other single people because they feel out of place hanging out with married people. There will be a large number of average women who are open to dating. There are a small number of below average ones that feel the same but are less successful. The guys will have a similar break down to the women but they usually outnumber the women. The hot guys will not stick around if they don't get results from the few hot chicks that are there, so who they are keeps changing. The large group of average guys will be a mix of some who lean more "alpha" and some that are more Orbiters. The below average group of guys won't even be very good at orbiting so they get discouraged and leave, so who they are keep changing just like the hots guy's group does. Often an orbiter from the middle group or a guy from the below average group will chase one of more of the women too much, the women become uncomfortable and stop coming to the group. If this happens too much the guy involved starts to feel unwelcome and stops coming. After he is gone, sometimes the women come back and sometimes they don't. It depends on how severe it was and if she has female friends in the group to keep her informed of "the lastest" news in the group. In the end 80% of the women all want the guys in the hot guy's subgroup. 80% of the men want the women in the hot chick's subgroup Maybe a couple from the "hot" subgroups will pair-up together (both from the hot subgroup) Several from the Average subgroups will pair-up with each other after they figure out they won't get one from the hot subgroup. The rest will not end up pairing with anyone but will stick around because they have made friends there and still enjoy hanging out with the friends they made. They will vanish if they starting dating someone from outside the group, rather than bring them to the group as a guest because they don't want to invite competition for themselves. Your goal is to not be the guy chasing off the women and becoming the enemy of the other guys by chasing off their prospects. Your other goal is to make friends and have a good time. Maybe you will pair up with someone, and maybe you won't. Edited February 6, 2019 by PRW 1
mortensorchid Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 You should be able to date anyone you like from any source you like (except for work). I think the purpose of Meetups are to bring people together, whether it's for dating or friendship. Do they work? Well, yes they do. I am happy to say that I met one good friend from them. But it was just meant to be, he and I were instant friends and remain as such. All others? I was Facebook friends with them but all but one has unfriended me. It's what it is.
Author Tagalz Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 I mean meetup groups that are expressly for "singles." Usually it's in the title of the group. Sorry for late answers. Just been working night and then sleeping after, so I got no time checking loveshack. Well there is no "Singles" here in Norway. Most groups are for everybody and I haven't seen a group were it says singles. The closest I get is the bar group. Singles go there
Author Tagalz Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 Your goal is to not be the guy chasing off the women and becoming the enemy of the other guys by chasing off their prospects. Your other goal is to make friends and have a good time. Maybe you will pair up with someone, and maybe you won't. Wow that made me more aware! Thanks for sharing your experience and the answer was just what I looked for
Lotsgoingon Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Just fyi: you can meet and ask people out in ANY situation: church, synagogue, mosque, gambling den, work, cousin's picnic, high-school reunion, meetup. The issue is figuring out when to ask someone out. It sounds like you're not quite confident in knowing when to ask someone out. My view is that you just want to converse and talk to people regularly ... and over time, it'll be clear who you can ask out. In other words, you don't ask out someone just because you had a reasonably good conversation with them at a meetup. You want to ask someone out who seems REALLY interested in you ... 1
alphamale Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Just fyi: you can meet and ask people out in ANY situation: church, synagogue, mosque, gambling den, work, cousin's picnic, high-school reunion, meetup. The issue is figuring out when to ask someone out. It sounds like you're not quite confident in knowing when to ask someone out. My view is that you just want to converse and talk to people regularly ... and over time, it'll be clear who you can ask out. In other words, you don't ask out someone just because you had a reasonably good conversation with them at a meetup. You want to ask someone out who seems REALLY interested in you ... or you could talk to someone for 20 minutes and then ask him/her out, it is ok to do that 1
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