CEE08 Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 (edited) Ok so long story short I’ve been talking to this girl from my work for the past month or so but we’ve been taking things slow as she’s just broke up with her ex. She’s been texting me almost daily but we haven’t been on any ‘dates’ as such, we’ve just been hanging out after work etc. She knows I like her and she said she likes me too but just wants to get to know me better. Then a few nights ago a few of us from work went out drinking and she was kissing me and holding my hands. As soon as she got home she was texting me saying she had a good night etc. I couldn’t help but ask if she thought this was going anywhere but she said she didn’t know she just really likes me and wants to get to know me more. I haven’t really heard from her since other than we’d see each other at work at the weekend but it just feels like she’s gone abit distant. Basically everyone at work knows about us, does she regret the attention this is going to cause? Does she regret kissing me? I just don’t know where I stand with her. I don’t want to be needy but at the same time I don’t want to be a doormat. I’m probably overthinking it but I can’t tell if she’s genuinely interested. Should I message her or leave her alone? Edited February 6, 2019 by CEE08
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Call her. She may regret it in the sense that she feels like she threw herself at you & you have now gone silent. Ask her out on a real date but don't discuss "what are we." Just be there & let your actions speak for your intentions.
SevenCity Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 As a man you need to be sure - even with uncertainty. You come across as feminine when you need to define what we are. Play it cool and let her omg that up. Also, don’t get in too deep as recently broken up chicks are a mess. She can love you wine day and go back to her ex the next. 1
ShadeOfGreen Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Then a few nights ago a few of us from work went out drinking and she was kissing me and holding my hands. As soon as she got home she was texting me saying she had a good night etc. Anything that happened after the drinking started can be taken with a grain of salt. People sometimes behave differently after having a few, and she still would've been under the influence while texting at home that night. The fact that she's been distant since could be indicative that she feels uncomfortable for being forward while drinking, and doesn't want anything more than friendship in everyday life. This happens a lot. Honestly, I've found it to be a good practice not to date people you work with. Otherwise, you risk office gossip, distractions from your professional life, and that uncomfortable situation where you have to see someone everyday that you broke up with. Much better to be able to make a clean break if things don't work out. I see it as looking out for your future self.
ChatroomHero Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 As a man you need to be sure - even with uncertainty. You come across as feminine when you need to define what we are. Play it cool and let her omg that up. Also, don’t get in too deep as recently broken up chicks are a mess. She can love you wine day and go back to her ex the next. This right here, 100%. If you ask, extra especially very early on, where it is going, you will never get an answer of, "Yes, I see it going somewhere, I want to date you!". Think about how that comes across to her. It is weak and insecure and frankly, man or woman, after one night of kissing, nobody will or even wants to define anything and that is what you are asking her to do. You are saying, "Hey, we kissed and had fun. Define for me where we are at because I am here all into you and I need to know right now if you really, really like me". It's almost like going on a first date and telling a girl you plan on marrying her one day. Cringe-worthy at best. Never settle with "taking things slow" because you think that is what she wants or needs. Take them as they come, otherwise if you define it as slow you will act slow and things will fizzle out. When she said she had a good night, you should have replied something like, "I did too. I'd like more fun in my life. Talk to you soon". Don't worry about her situation or where you think she is at with her ex, worry about seeing her and having fun with her. When you say you couldn't help yourself but to ask where she saw things going, actually you could help yourself. You could easily have paused and NOT texted that. But your desperation won the day and if you want to be successful in the future, you better learn how to help yourself from doing that.
Tagalz Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Call her. She may regret it in the sense that she feels like she threw herself at you & you have now gone silent. Ask her out on a real date but don't discuss "what are we." Just be there & let your actions speak for your intentions. I agree with d0nnivain here! If she doesn't pick up her phone when you're calling her let it be and don't call her anymore. If you do that then you're needy. You still have a chance to talk to her in person at work, but I would be too careful talking to her infront of other colleagues. Say that you want to talk to her alone while you do it ask her out on a real date. If she keeps saying that she wanted to get to know you better after you asked her out then let her go. Good luck bro!
smackie9 Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 She took your attention to get a boost. She's not in it to date you, she just liked feeling desired. She rebounded off you.
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